I Feel Guilty
Hi everyone. So I was recruited to Shincheonji in my first year of university, 2024. I entered the church mid 2025, but before then I was able to successfully recruit my high school best friend, whom was initially suspicious at first when I brought up the Bible study, but because of her trust in me, she reluctantly agreed to meet the BBT and was dragged in as a result.
I am sure she has finished her new family stage and is officially apart of the church. I know at this point it’s not my fault and that she agreed to join and stay (as I had also tried to recruit other friends from high school and it didn’t work out), but I can’t help but feel guilty and responsible for this. I only just left this year and am still recovering and trying to get my life back together and this has been weighing down on me.
Some context about this friend: she was raised by a single mum and has five other siblings, all of which moved across the country mid 2024. She stayed in Melbourne to continue her studies and lives with her extended family. I’m not sure if her extended family care that much about her, as she is freely able to go out and return when she wants. I’m afraid she doesn’t have the same support that I do that helped me to get out of SCJ. Of course, I’ve lost contact with her so I don’t know her current situation, but I definitely know she’s still there.
Two months ago I sent her a text message asking to meet up. In response she asked if she can bring her group leader to the meeting and I saw that immediately as a red flag. I came up with an excuse as to why she shouldn’t and had tried to set a meeting with just her and I, but I oddly felt like she was avoiding me since then and not even trying to put in effort to make the meeting happen, possibly even making up excuses.
Eventually I lost patience and just texted her straight up that I have left Shincheonji and for her to please reach out to me when she was free so that we can meet and I can explain my point of view. She texted me back telling me:
“sorry to miss your call i was working! thank you for contacting me, I really appreciate knowing that you’re okay, and thank you for all the things you did for me, I am really grateful.
honestly, at the moment I am not in the best position to talk, so if possible, can you please give me some time? I will contact you, once I'm ready to talk.
I hope you are well. And as for myself, I am doing okay so please don't worry about me. 🫶
I hope you will respect my request.”
It honestly sounds fake now that I read it and she was probably helped by her group leader or team leader or something because she has not gotten back to me since. That was March 21st.
I know sending her links to articles and screenshots won’t work - been in those same shoes and I often ignored any warnings I got from friends and family while I was trapped there.
Is there anything else I can do? Should I text her again to see if she will respond? Should I tell her mum/aunty? I don’t have their contacts so I don’t know how that will work. I feel guilty and as if I have destroyed my friendship and her life as well. I am very remorseful.