27M considering reaching out to my ex (29F) after months of no contact. Looking for honest advice
I'm 27M and my ex is 29F.
We were together for a few years, and looking back, she was honestly my best friend. We talked about marriage, kids, and building a life together. I really thought she was my person.
Toward the end of our relationship, I was dealing with a lot of career uncertainty and financial stress. Instead of leaning on the person who loved me most, I unintentionally pulled away and shut down. I became emotionally distant and stopped showing up for her the way she needed me to. She tried really hard to save the relationship. She even suggested couples therapy at one point, and I brushed it off. Looking back now, I regret that more than I can put into words.
Eventually she ended things.
Our last conversation was rough. She was extremely hurt and said a lot of painful things. She told me she was blocking me, and I never responded. Looking back, not responding is probably one of my biggest regrets.
Over the past several months I've done a lot of reflecting and honestly a lot of growing. The more I've thought about everything, the more I've realized she was right about a lot. I can finally see things from her perspective, and I genuinely hate the way I handled so much of our relationship. I took her for granted, and I didn't appreciate what I had until it was gone.
The thing is, I still love her.
I don't just miss having a relationship. I miss her. I miss our life together, our routines, our dogs, our friendship, and just having my person.
I've written a short message taking responsibility for my actions, apologizing, and saying that if she's ever open to talking I'd really appreciate the chance. I'm not asking her to get back together or trying to pressure her into anything. I just want her to know how sorry I am, that I've grown, and that I've finally realized what I lost.
Part of me feels like I owe her that apology.
The other part of me is scared I'll only reopen old wounds or that she's completely moved on and doesn't want to hear from me.
If you were in her shoes, would you want to receive that message?
Or if you've been in a similar situation, either as the one reaching out or the one receiving it, what happened?
I'm genuinely looking for honest advice, even if it's not what I want to hear.