u/Wise_old_River

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some advice because I'm feeling quite lost.

We've practiced EC since birth with our son, who is now 19 months old. Since around 12 months, he has consistently pooped in the potty, and over the last few months he was also doing really well with pee. At home he wore underwear, had very few accidents, and while we still offered the potty frequently, he usually cooperated and seemed to have good body awareness and increasingly started to signal reliably for both pee and poop.

Two weeks ago we visited his grandparents. He had an identical potty there but was very distracted, so he had more pee accidents and stopped signaling as reliably. He still pooped in the potty there.
On the train ride home he clearly signaled that he needed to poop, but the train toilet scared him. He held it until we got home, then refused to sit on the potty for the first time ever and had a poop accident. It’s been a full week since we’re home and everything has changed. He rarely signals before peeing anymore. If I offer the potty because I know he probably has to go, he often squirms away without a big protest, just doesn't want to sit. Then he'll pee on the floor a minute later. Sometimes he'll sit (especially if he's nursing), but won't release, and then pee shortly afterwards off the potty. Yesterday I managed to get two pees into the potty by offering at the right time, but he isn't initiating anything himself anymore.

For poop, he'll sometimes become restless, pass gas, and even walk toward the bathroom, but still refuses to sit. I don't think he's afraid of the potty. He doesn't cry or panic, he just doesn't seem willing or able to sit and release anymore.
At the same time, three canine teeth erupted during the trip, and he's having a huge language explosion (starting to use two-word sentences), so I'm wondering whether this could all be connected.

My biggest concern is how to respond now without making things worse. Should I continue offering the potty and accept a "no" every time? Should I move him to the potty once an accident starts, or just clean it up? I'm afraid that if I stay completely neutral he'll learn that peeing on the floor is just as acceptable as using the potty, but I'm equally afraid of creating pressure around toileting.

Has anyone experienced a sudden regression like this after months of successful EC? How did you handle it, and how long did it last?

We started doing diaper free time at home around 17 months. The first two weeks looked very promising. Our son started to signal for potty or walked to the potty multiple times per day and we had days with a 100% catch rate. I don’t know what happened next because in week three we had so many accidents if we didn’t nudge him to go to the potty. In week four grandma visited, so naturally he needed a lot more support again.

We’re back in our normal routine now but he’s still just peeing where he’s at. It’s hard to get him to stop playing to go potty without causing resistance, so I try to let him be and remind myself that pee is water soluble. But honestly, I’m soo close to just putting him back in diapers. He just woke up from his nap (which we can do diaper free no problem) and usually we go straight to the potty but today he got sidetracked by a drying bath mat and peed standing at the tub 2m away from the potty, looked down and laughed. I know he’s not doing this out defiance, but he definitely knows pee is supposed to go into the potty, since we’ve been doing EC from birth.

I also make sure I’m not putting any pressure on him, just gently saying pee goes in the potty and take him when that happens but at this point it feels like he has zero motivation to use the potty because he stopped signaling entirely and is happy to just pee where he’s at.

Thankfully he’s still pooping exclusively on the potty. But I’m wondering how to deal with the current state of things. I don’t want to get into a power struggle over the potty and put him in diapers as a consequence because he hates them and it would probably feel like a punishment?! But I’m also not sure if this will resolve on its own if we just keep going diaper free like and hope it clicks (again).