r/ECers

I'm seriously struggling, guys! I'm the type of person that always believes I can do what I set my mind to, and if something isn't working then I read books, listen to podcasts, practice over and over, and do whatever I need to to work through it! But, I feel like I've done EVERYTHING when it comes to EC, and I just cannot get it to work for us. It makes me so upset when I hear everyone's amazing EC stories because I'm so happy for you all, but just so upset for myself and my child that we don't have the same success. Part of me feels like I'm letting him down because it's not hygienic for him to always go in his diaper or training pants. But part of me also feels like, at this point, (even though I don't believe in "readiness"), I may need to follow his lead, and clearly pottying just is not something he wants right now.

For a bit of background, I started EC at 4 months and began with "lazy" EC, I would do the 4 easy catches and by around 6 months, things were going amazing for me! I wasn't really trying to catch pees at that point, but I hardly ever had any poop diapers, and I was so happy things were working so well! Then at around 9 months, things stopped working so well. I think what happened was I was off on his timing due to the "lazy" EC. Since then, I've taken breaks to re-group, done diaper free time and observation, and I think I have a much better grasp on when to offer, I feel more in tune with when he needs to go - but, it's still not really working for us.

Here are some examples of how things have been going this week:

He wakes up with a dry diaper in the morning, so I know he needs to go. He sits on the potty in the bathtub, while I also sit on the toilet and try to ignore him to give him some privacy (but if I get any further away than the toilet right next to him, he cries, so I can't give too much privacy). He's happy to sit for a while playing with toys, but doesn't pee and eventually stands back up. If I say "sit please" and gently guide him to sit, he is okay with sitting again and playing, but still doesn't pee and just stands up again eventually. So we play in the bathroom together for 15 mins until eventually he starts peeing on the floor. I tell him "potty" and sit him on the potty but he stops peeing right away. Another 15 minutes later, he starts peeing again and same thing. I know he still needs to go more (I'm familiar with the volume he usually releases when he's had a dry diaper overnight, and he hasn't gone enough), so I put him in a diaper and he fills it over the next 15 mins.

Later in the day, I feel that he needs to go based on his natural timing, plus he has a "peenie weenie" so it's pretty obvious he needs to go. When I take his training pants off, he's happy to sit on the potty, but he doesn't pee. I have things to do and can't just spend all day in the bathroom, so I put training pants back on - he pees 5 minutes later. I change him into dry training pants, but don't offer again since I figure he just went. He must not have gotten it all out, because he pees his pants again 15 mins later. I change him. About 15 minutes later, he starts acting like he needs to poop. I put him on the potty and he doesn't go, but I'm sure he needs to so I just go ahead and put him in a diaper. Sure enough, 10 minutes later I see him pooping in his diaper.

I mostly see people saying that if your baby isn't going when you put them on the potty, it's because they don't need to go and you aren't in tune with their timing and signals. But I really feel that I am in tune! Sure, I miss signals sometimes, but it seems like even when I notice a signal perfectly, I still can't get him to actually go on the potty. So - what do you guys think? Do I take a long break? Or is there something different I need to be trying?

We've been doing lazy EC since 6 months. All poops have been on the potty since then, bar a handful of accidents and he always pees before and after naps and returning home. He often signs to go pee as well.

We've been making a real effort with trying to get him out of nappies. The pants seem to not make a difference as he pees in them. So we've had him running around naked. He has become very aware of when he is going to pee as a result. We've had multiple outings without accidents too, being out for a couple of hours at a time and going to the park.

But sometimes he holds it and won't go on the potty so that he can pee on the floor instead. Usually I make him stay on the potty until he does something but then he holds back some pee to do on the floor 🤦🏼‍♀️

Whenever he's frustrated or bored he also pees on the floor. Eg. I wont let him do something he immediately pees.

We dont make a huge fuss or get cross. We just clean up and put him on the potty again until he goes.

Any advice?

Our baby is 6.5 months old and we started EC around 3 weeks ago. I finally started because she can sit up on her own now, and it’s often so obvious when she has to poop (contracting her belly, usually while breastfeeding).

One annoying thing though is that it’s happening like clockwork at night. For the past three weeks, almost every night around 3/4am I wake up and she’s fussing, so I’ll start breastfeeding her, notice she’s contracting her belly, then we go to the potty and hang out there for like 20 minutes while she poops. It’s so cute she’s so proud! Anyway!

I’m worried that I’m making this nighttime poop too fun haha. Like since we’re just staring at each other for so long, I might softly sing, and she’ll be looking around sometimes for things to pick up/play with, so I’ll give her a little toy and she’ll play with it, poop, play some more, poop again, etc.

Then generally after I clean her up and put a new diaper on, we go back to the bedroom and I might breastfeed again to calm her down then put her back in her crib.

Does anyone else have an experience similar to this? Ideally she stops waking up to poop at night, so I’m wondering if anyone was able to shift poops to more normal times? Or at the very least how do you make it less “fun” but equally as effective ?

She recently just started solids, but honestly barely. For example yesterday she kind of ate baby cereal with mashed blueberries for breakfast, some licks of hummus for lunch, and she just played with the cucumber I gave her for dinner. So I don’t think it’s a solids thing?

Thanks so much !

Hello,

We have been doing EC with our kiddo since 3 weeks old. Worked like a charm and she figured if she gives us cues, we will take her to sink/potty and she doesn't need to do it in diaper. Since that day, she has probably pooped in diaper around 10-15 times. She's 19 months now. Now she hand signs whenever she wants to poop and actually waits for us if we are away from home or something and she poops on the actual toilet with baby seat.

So as you can see, it has been a highly successful endeavor for us and we are very proud of our kiddo.

Now, onto the next task of going totally diaper free. She does sign for peeing and does it on the toilet as well , but its a hit or miss. How do we train her? I know one way is to let go of diapers completely and when they wet themselves they sense and let you know. is there any other method that has worked for you? In our current home situation(moving and all), we can't leave her without diaper and clean up afterwards. If that's the only way, we will do it but looking for other suggestions if anybody has any.

Edit 1: Forgot to add, we have used cloth diapers since she was a month old. So she knows the sensation of wetness and even lets us know when she needs a diaper change. She just doesn't sign for peeing all the time.

My son is newly 17 months old and we’ve been doing lazy EC since he was 4 months old. We had varying degrees of success with a peak around 10 months old (when we’d catch about 5 pees a day and poop almost every day), then when he started walking things definitely got worse but we always managed to at least keep the first pee of the morning in the potty. During this past month he’s become a lot more interested in the potty. Only sometimes do we catch more than one or two pees but he asks to sit on it a lot and has started announcing when he’s peeing or pooping - not yet with enough notice to make it to the potty but still! He’s aware of when he goes most of the time. He’s also resisting wearing a diaper quite a lot.

I’m thinking he might be ready for a week or so of more intensive “training” to wrap things up but I am hesitating because we have travel coming up and the first week that is completely free from engagements would be in about a month. I was told not to make any changes at all during his 18th month of life, so should I wait even longer? I’m afraid of missing this window of interest on his part. Would you guys wait two months or cancel/delay our trip and potty train now?

Edit to add: he’s been dry for nights and naps for 2/3 months already.

I was doing lazy EC when my LO was 5 months old and it was going great! We were doing a few catches a day, cloth diapers during the day, and feeling like I could read his cues.

Then around 9mo we moved, traveled a lot, and I just slipped on keeping up with EC. I would keep the potty around and offer occasionally, but sadly my ‘lazy EC’ turned into no EC at all.

Now my LO is 13mo and I don’t even remember the last time we got a catch. This past week I’ve sat him on his potty a few times a day and he will tolerate it for a minute or two, but he will not go in the potty. We have accidents on the floor allllll the time, sometimes I follow him around with the potty but I can’t catch them. (Btw, I never shame him or make the potty stressful. He thinks me following him around with the toilet is funny. )

I messed up during the most critical time and I feel like I totally failed him on his potty training journey. I feel like we’re starting from scratch and doing it all wrong. Any help or advice? Thanks!

I want to start EC to catch some pees/poops of my sons. He is 5 weeks old. I was looking at different seats like the top hat potty and the whale shaped top hat potty. What’s the best to use for boys? I’m nervous his pee will spray right out lol. TY for advice!

Hey everyone, so my daughter is 11mo. She poops on the toilet. Still pees in the diaper, I can’t seem to catch her pee cue…anyway, I start a new job at a daycare and she won’t be able to use the toilet at the daycare because her classroom doesn’t have a bathroom in it. I know the reason is because if they take her out to use the pot then they will be out of ratio which is illegal but I’m wondering what those of you who have gone through this have done in this situation…I was thinking if I start putting her on the pot in the mornings when we get ready to leave maybe she’ll start popping them and her body will become accustomed to it..my husband can do it when he picks her up..like just be more intentional…or maybe put her on the pot when I go on break?…any suggestions? Ideas?

Right now we just wait for her que and once she gives it we put her on the pot and she goes.

Not sure if this is just a phase or not- but it’s getting soooo frustrating. Baby is 11 mo. She is now in trainers. She gives pretty good signals. We catch all poops. And 70/30 pees. She has just started to walk- so maybe that is playing a role but she sometimes just wants to stand up. Whether I have the potty on the floor or I have it up on the dresser, she will push her little bottom off the potty to stand up. Even when I know she needs to go. So I’ve tried like sitting her back down onto it and even applying some pressure on her legs to discourage her from standing until she pees. She gets pissed. So I say ok. All done. But usually that just means she pees two min later once I take her off the potty. And I’ve noticed she’s been standing during those misses.

Do I just have a female child who wants to stand up to pee? Anything I can do to help her sit down without causing a meltdown and making her think I’m being mean? Books or boob usually don’t work when she’s in this mood. Or is this just a phase that will hopefully pass?

Thanks

We’ve been practicing lazy EC on a BabyBjorn smart potty since about 8 months, and it’s going pretty well, we practice sitting on it after waking up and after eating, and often we catch a pee or a poo. We’ll be leaving for a vacation soon where we’ll be staying at a hotel and I’m wondering what we should do to keep it up. Is there a travel version of a potty seat you’d recommend? Should we try to learn how to use a seat reducer here so I can bring a travel version of that on the trip? Should we take a break entirely and resume EC when back at home?

My 22 month old daughter had her first ever dry night last night and just had a dry nappy this morning. Last couple of days she is showing she needs a wee by pulling on her nappy, we whip it off and get her on the potty as soon as we can but she refuses to wee on the potty, she will happily sit on it with no nappy but will stand up and wee next to the potty.

She comes to the toilet with me, wipes herself with me at the toilet and knows the general ins and outs of toileting but I just can’t get her to go on the toilet with a seat or on the potty, she’s so close! I’ve tried bubbles while she sits on it, some tv she loves like Ms Apple, Mr Tumble, even tickling her 😂 how do I get her to pee??

TIA x

Hi,

Our baby is a week short of 10 months. Has been in cloth diapers the whole time and we do lazy EC, offer her potty in the morning, post meals and during diaper changes. Also when we see her strain. Typically we catch the poops but we don’t stress too much about the pees. We aren’t really sure of her peeing cues. She hates being put on her back now, rolls away etc. so we switched do standing diaper changes in front of a mirror.

We use tiny potty. She used to love to sit, we gave it to her since she started sitting with support around 4.5 - 5 months old. Since she started solids, her poops regulated and we almost always have caught her morning poop.

She used to like sitting on her potty but now she can’t wait to stand up. Sometimes she just will not bend to sit. Sometimes she sits (or we make her sit by making distracting her). She poops, but then stands up immediately. We are often ending up with a pee on the floor during her diaper change or the wipe after a poop. Once in a while she even ends up pooping on the floor while standing up though her potty is right there.

Does anyone have any tips to help us get her on her potty? Is she uncomfortable with the potty? Or we just wait out the standing novelty phase? If so, how long does this kind of a thing last? Idk, any info is appreciated!

Hi all! 8 week old baby here, doing EC part-time since 5 weeks and full-time for a week now. I’ve been reading Diaper-Free Baby (love it) and am also planning to introduce cloth diapers this week. The author suggests that cloth helps with EC as it’s “easier to tell when baby has peed”. How do you tell this? The author’s children are my age, so I know diapers have probably changed a lot. Baby is basically diaper free at home and I just clean up any misses; the diapers are for going out or overnight. Thanks for any tips!

We recently got a potty/stool to attach to our toilet, with no intention to fully potty train yet, but just introduce the idea to my daughter. I let her sit on it clothed, let her watch me use the potty, etc. just to get her comfortable.

3 days in a row, I said “ok time to go potty” and put her on it, and she peed! I didn’t really have a plan for if she actually started using it, because she’s still so young and I’m not sure if she could comprehend going all out, with diaper-off potty training.

I’m looking for advice on next steps. I’ve really only been putting her on the potty at random times when we are already in the bathroom, but am not sure if I should be putting more effort into this now that I know shes capable.

Is it worth it to challenge her more this young? Or should I continue with keeping things gradual and maybe try 1-2 times a day for a month or two, then eventually try to get to the point where she can tell me when she has to go(because we’re not there yet.)

If anyone has any experience with a similar situation, I’d love some feedback. I don’t feel the need to rush this, but want to make sure I’m not going to confuse her more by not having a routine.

My 17mo boy has (inconsistently) started letting us know when he's actively pooping. Doesn't like being put on the potty. He can't communicate/might not understand when he's peeing yet. I'm a FTM.

Do you have any guidance?

I used EC with my son from about 1 month to 3 months old. He was doing great! I was catching almost every single poop. Then my husband got pretty severely injured and I had to basically take care of him and our baby by myself while doing school full time so I dropped EC to keep a little sanity lol. That went on for about three months. When I put my baby back on his potty around 6 months old he absolutely hated it. I would put him on it when I knew he was about to poop but he would just cry and as soon as I put his diaper back on him, he would poop. He’s about to be 10 months old now and I would really like to start potty training him. I still try to put him on his potty occasionally but he still hates it. Does anyone have any tips for starting EC with an older baby who knows to use his diaper and does not like his potty? He is very tall also, so I might need to get him a regular potty chair. Any advice is welcome!

Hello all!

My little one will be a year old next month and we have been practicing EC (quite relaxed though) since she was about 5 months old. I usually put her on the potty several times a day and sing a specific song that I came up with and we had a lot of success with it. We usually read books while she sits if nothing appears in the potty right away, since she otherwise gets bored.

Once she wees, I say well done with a big smile and name it by telling her that this is wee, and I do the same with poos.

Now that she is getting older and understands more, what makes me wonder is how is she going to be able to let me know that she needs to go in a few months. Maybe I assumed that she would be able to say the words since they are pretty simple. Is that possible or should I teach her some sign language?

Recently I struggle catching any poos. I used to be able to somehow sense when she might need a poo but recently as soon as I sense she is about to poo, she's already done it. I then quickly put her onto the potty to see if she will do any more but nothing. She often cries for a few seconds when i am about to put her on the potty (only when she's just done it into the nappy) but then settles with a book. I hope i am not somehow creating a bad association with the potty for her? I am always so positive throughout.

Any advice would be hugely appreciated.