r/ECers

Hi! I recently started some lazy EC on my 4month old and I really think it’s fun and she seems to think that as well. I don’t know clear cues I just offer potty after feeds and naps and little bit random when I think she looks like she needs to.

However, after a feed she will spit up from the EC hold. I don’t know what to make of that. She doesn’t seem bothered by it but I feel like it’s a bit harsh pressing someone who just ate a whole meal on their stomach. Wondering what other people make/think of that?

I’ve started potty training with my toddler (21 month girl) after doing lazy ec since she as about 4 months old. We were getting really consistent pees and poops in the morning on the potty for a long time, and then suddenly she just got really inconsistent. Sometimes pee, sometimes poo, sometimes nothing at all on the potty for days. I chalked it up to my getting pregnant and not being consistent enough with my morning sickness, and her sensing the changes happening. Well, we’re out of the thick of that now, and I decided it’d be nice to have her potty trained before baby #2 comes along.

We’ve been going at this for about a week now, and if I happen to put her on the potty when she needs to go (usually every 2 hours, sometimes every hour), she will happily go on the potty. If I don’t get the timing right, she does not tell us she needs to go and just goes in her pants. We’re using chocolates as treats for going in the potty, and she is thrilled and understands that if she goes in the potty she will get one, because as soon as she starts peeing on the potty she requests her treat.

Does anyone have any recommendations about how to communicate to their toddler that she needs to tell us before she goes? No amount of ‘tell mama when you need to do a pee’ seems to convince her to tell us before the fact.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Caroline

Hi! My 4m old was going #2 3-4 times a day. As we have hit sleep regression era (and possibly teething?) he only goes once a day during his wake up go (goes a LOT) and will grunt and signal throughout the day but will just pass gas if anything. He hasn’t gone in his diaper yet for poo but I’m wondering if he’s holding it in Al day or if this is normal?

I was referred over here from a different subreddit because I was thinking about starting potty training at 15 months for my daughter who just truly hates diaper changes and the whole diapering process is adding a lot of stress to our lives.

I’m a super n00b. We have done zero EC ever. Am I too late? Have I missed the boat? All the resources I see are for starting with very young babies. Any advice for starting with a young toddler? She has an older brother who is potty trained so she sees him use the potty. And I know daycare will help her use one too if I ask.

Hey yall! I have an 8mo, a potty and a dream lol

I’m a full time SAHM and I’m really wanting to have my baby toilet trained as early as possible. Do I just start offering the potty every so often? I don’t think she has a cue yet tbh

Also maybe a gross question but her potty has a lift out section for emptying into the toilet but how is this not the messiest thing ever? I don’t like changing dirty nappies but I do think they’re convenient and I can contain everything pretty easy

Give me all your advice!!

Hi my daughter is 13 months, we started lightly potty training at 10 months. She liked it initially but now she doesn't.

I tried training undies, regular panties, and bottomless.

Nothing phases her!

Nothing seems to be working, its been 2 months and no real progress, not sure if it's just going to take a long time or if i can do something to help. Right now if I put her on the potty she tries to get off unless I read a book to her, then 9/10 times she goes no problem since shes distracted.

*Sometimes* she'll say peepee and when i put her on she'll goes, I reward her with a scoop of icecream lol.

Any advice?

Hello! I have a 7 month old who has been lazy EC-ing since 3 months old. He consistently pees in the potty after he wakes up from sleep, after the car seat, stroller, etc. He used to only poop while breastfeeding so it was easy for me to catch his wriggling cues or gas cues and take him to the toilet, and we caught 90% of poops this way. The last month or so his digestion has changed and now he goes in his diaper while rolling around on the floor. He signals by whining when he’s gone but it’s nearly impossible to catch it beforehand! Also we often give him the toilet just before, but he doesn’t go and then minutes later poops in his diaper. Any suggestions??

Hi all,

I am just looking for some input on how people set up at home for EC. I have a 5 week old and live in a condo. My baby tends to cry and fuss before he wets his diaper so we have had some success catching those by rushing to the sink and holding him over while my husband quickly whips his nappy off. I then carry him to the changing mat in the next room when we are done. This doesn’t seem like something I could manage alone though so just wondering what other setups are?

First thing before launching in- yall probably all know this, but potty training at 16 months does not look the same as it does at 2 or 3. 16 month olds do not have the dexterity to handle toileting on their own, the language to fully communicate they have to go, or the physical development to be potty trained over night. We’re calling it potty trained because he 1) rarely has accidents and usually has dry days 2) we don’t use diapers except overnight 3) when we go out he consistently comes back in the exact same undies and cloths we left in, and 4) he cues us himself over half the time. But it’s potty training not potty independence and its mostly still on is to accurately read his cues and handle toileting.

Okay, so launching in. We started very lazy “elimination communication” at around 3 months. I was am a stay at home dad and was pretty determined at the beginning but petered off a good deal. Basically what it looked like was setting him on a very tiny baby toilet at wakes, after getting home, and after meals and occasionally starting to “read” his signals on if he was about to go. Aside from that we used disposable diapers and honestly most were caught there. I think the biggest thing this helped with was just normalizing him to going on the toilet and training me as a parent to understand his bathroom rhythms and cues.

Around 14 months he started going on his own to his toilet to try to pee sometimes, without us asking him to. A month or so prior to that he’d also stopped pooping outside the house and consistently waited til we were home to do it. We decided to try full potty training at this point (expanded below) but by day 2 he started crying when we sat him on the toilet so we decided to pause and retry later. He also seemed to pee like 30 times a day which didn’t help lol. Now he pees more like 12 times- still high but more workable.

At 15.5 months we seemed to have a new milestone of him really solidly grabbing himself and looking at us every time he had to go so we decided to try again. We went on a vacation and basically kept him naked whenever we were in the hotel room (tile floors) and tried to bring him to toilet any time he started peeing.

When we got back we launched into it fully. Puppy pads on all rugs (which he constantly pulled up) and him naked from the waist down inside. At home days 1-3 I stayed on him just tracking him 24/7 and moving him to the toilet if he started going. It was exhausting. We also timed every 30 or so minutes and after meals/naps/before and after going out, setting him on the toilet to see if he needed to go. Successful potties got tons of applause and a tiny treat or sticker. Accidents we stayed very calm and just did a “whoopsie, we potty in the toilet and would bring him over.” Days 1-3 we still diapered when we went outside but brought a portable toilet to try after 30 or so minutes.

Day 4 we started going out just in underwear (we use light training underwear s and brought a portable potty and many changes of underwear and clothes). At home we started picking up the puppy pads and stopped setting him every 30 minutes. Days 4 saw many carpet pees, one poop that he decided to try and clean up on his own while I left for two seconds to grab a towel (hellish experience), and two accidents on the way to the park. Day 5 saw 2 carpet pees and one when we went outside. Day 6 was a mostly dry day except the beginning of a pee where he stopped himself and ran to us.

Most days since have been 0-1 accidents. After two-ish weeks we put underwear back on inside and mostly relied on his cues and set times (after nap, wake up, getting home, meals) for toileting.

We’re at 3 weeks since starting and it feels like it genuinely stuck. Though now he’s starting to try to stand and pee and his aim is awful so that’s a fun new issue. I’m sure there will be regressions- daycare, travel, illness, etc. But it’s working and I’m counting it now.

Some important notes- this hasn’t been a process that demanded perfection, just consistency. Day 5 saw our dryer break down and I put him back into a diaper for an hour or so while I troubleshot that. We’re human, our kid is human, a quick break is not going to cause you to lose all progress. We also were pretty big on not wanting it to feel stressful for our kid. When he was getting visibly upset about it at 14 months, we paused. When he just didn’t want to go to the bathroom on the toilet those first few days, we let him get up and accidents happened.

Also progress is NOT purely linear. Day 2 was worse than day 1, day 4 was the most accidents of all, and random days he just chugs too much water too quickly and have an accident or 2 when he can’t figure out he has to go fast enough. And pooping took longer to stick than pees. The process took “2 weeks” not including all the EC before that. And I think it mostly stuck because he was genuinely ready.

Anyway, that’s all! Hope this helps any parents considering trying potty training from EC.

Long story short, but long "potty trained" (with EC) developed potty resistance 90-100% of the time after a bad experience at daycare. He is no longer in daycare.

I prioritized bodily autonomy, never pushed him, and just let him have accidents. It's now been a month or a little more. He is now mostly recovered, but still having one accident a day... typically in the mornings.

I know he has to pee in the mornings. I have to pee in the mornings myself, and he follows me into the bathroom and gets upset I'm going to the bathroom / tries to force me out or to stop me from going. It doesn't seem to matter if I go right away, or try to give him a bigger connection play buffer. We always nurse when he wakes up, but nowadays he has a larger "itinerary" he seems to want before trying to pee (puzzles, letters, cars, ramps, etc etc). However, we can spend an hour or two playing, eating, etc -- and he still won't want to potty. I have tried forcing myself to wait to pee, but no matter if I force myself to wait or go right away, he has the same reaction. If I try asking whether he wants to go potty with me he responds... aggressively. Most of the time I do not ask. Sometimes he pees / has an accident (right next to his potty he's refusing to sit on) as he is angry I am peeing. Other times he has an accident while playing in the morning (and is upset about it).

No matter what, he has an accident every morning. This means daily or near daily laundry and obviously cleaning up like this isn't fun, especially when I know he's about to pee, and it's now been over a month. He's far too old and too long EC/potty trained to wear something to catch it.

The only way I've found around this mental block is to take a shower in the morning, where he'll naturally pee. But we can't always do this and frankly I prefer evening showers.

What I've been doing HAS been working... he's made close to a full recovery and has shown so much improvement. And what I've been doing is primarily giving bodily autonomy and respecting his wishes, while also focusing on all the other areas of toddler life (outside the scope of this post). But I think it might be another 2-4 weeks before we get the final morning pee worked through, and I'm getting frustrated/impatient and the laundry is an issue.

Anything I can do to speed this recovery process up in the mornings from an EC perspective? It is so frustrating to know he's going to have an accident, and also frustrating frankly to be trying to pee or poop in the morning myself amidst his breakdown and attempt to stop me.

Thank you, all. Current plan is to do morning showers earlier to avoid the accidents, but would love any other advice!

We've just started EC at 5m and while bub is very good at it and prefers it to going in their nappy (doesnt like being dirty) I can see its extra work for me.

What does the transition from EC to potty training look like?

Overall, I'm asking so I can kinda plan how intense our EC is and transition.

I assume there is an extra skill involved in having bub tell you they want to potty? Or should I be figuring out how to teach bub sign language and starting now?

Due to health issues for both me and baby postpartum we didn't start EC until she was 7 months old. At first she did amazing. We were catching 100% of poops and nearly 60% of pees. She loved her baby potty and would sit there no problem to go before and after naps/bed.

At 12 months she got a bad stomach flu with diarrhea that lasted a few months. We stopped with the potty because she was refusing to sit and just all around miserable with the illness. Around that time my husband was also using the drill when she was on the potty and it scared her. Not sure if that is related or not.

We're now at 15 months and have only caught 1 pee in the last month. She is walking and wanting to do all the things, but she definitely knows when she needs to go. We do cloth undies during the day and a lot of bottom free time just because she doesn't want to put her undies and pants back on. I got her a larger potty since she's bigger now but it hasn't made a difference. She'll sign that she needs the potty, sit down for 30 seconds and stand to go back to play. This cycle continues sometimes for 3 hours until she just can't hold it anymore and pees on the floor.

She's so upset when she pees on the floor/her legs and I can tell she doesn't want to. I don't want the potty to be a negative thing. But even if I put her in a diaper to go out she still signs for the potty and will hold it and not go in her diaper.

I don't want to teach her to ignore her body signals but I also don't want the potty to be stressful for her. I keep my language neutral "pee/poop goes in the potty". Does it sound like we're on the verge of a breakthrough? Do I persevere with cloth undies and the potty or give her another break?

hey all! been doing EC since my son was 5 months, just part time. he’s 8 months now. we’ve had some ups and downs, but recently it was going great, he was clearly signaling when he needed to pee and poop! and I have had many days where I‘ve had zero wet diapers, and I’ve only had one poopy diaper in the past 3 months! so really awesome.

however! since starting solids, my son has apparently been traumatized by his poops? there was a week where my husband was out of town and I think I gave him too many solids too soon, just because otherwise I couldn‘t really feed myself without LO screaming at me (he’s very into food, and gets very jealous if we deny him tastes). but his poop became pretty solid pretty quickly, and I guess he got ptsd from it, and ever since then has been freaked out whenever he needs to poop!! I can usually get him to calm down by nursing him while he sits on the potty, or reading to him.

but in the past day or two, he clearly needed to poop, but was seeming to be too scared to try and every time he had to pee, he’d scream because it seemed like he was scared the poop was going to come out too! it finally did, and again it’s just solid, but he’s not constipated at all! it’s pretty much just normal looking soft but fully formed poop. I tried feeding less solids, so it went back to being really soft for a little while, to show him it’s okay, but it doesn’t seem to have helped. he seems to seriously have some ptsd. it doesn’t seem to be associated with the potty itself, but just having to go at all! I guess because it just takes more effort now? than when he was just EBF? I don’t know what to do! i assume he’ll eventually get used to the feeling of having to work harder to poop, but I feel like I’m somehow fucking up in some way, or idk! would love any advice or experience anyone has had with their younger babies being poop traumatized or fearful of eliminating. or idk. I just need help, y’all.

I discovered ec when baby boy was 11 months but started when he hit 12 months. It was tiring at the beginning because he didn't understand what he was supposed to do after sitting. But it got better when someone here suggested leaving him with no diaper for some time he understood and started peeing and pooping in the potty. I do lazy ec now by offering potty after sleeping,naps, eating and before baths or going out, and sometimes when I myself go I put him on the potty beside me.

It's been pretty good but maybe I'm aiming for better.

I want to know how do i teach him to sign potty. he never does and if i didn't offer he will pee or poop in diaper no problem. I want him to communicate with me when he needs to go.

Also, when do i transition him from potty to toilet reducer? Is there a certain milestone for that?

wednesday my LO did not want to wear a diaper. so we started potty training & have been home & she has been doing well!

there are just still moments of peeing her pants & she says “uh oh”.

I say “that’s ok. pee is for the potty, let’s clean it up.“

just curious how many accidents would be too much? Also in the potty books we read there are children who wet themselves & say “oh no” and then the mommy says “that’s ok!”

should I react differently?

also when she uses the potty I say “You listened to your body & used the potty!”

Been doing EC since 4 months, good with poop but lately with pee he won’t come to potty because he would rather be playing with his toys, running around etc.

I’ve even missed a few poops this way - where he says “potty!” Then suddenly doesn’t want to actually go there and sit, he wants to run around and play.

I’ve tried to bring toys to the potty, make it fun etc. Should I start rewarding him or something after? How to address this?

We are so close to being trained but if he won’t come sit on the potty when he’s having fun we are in trouble!

hey all question for the group. I’ve been doing EC since 4 mon and the baby just hit a year. At 6 months life was perfect almost all pees and poos in the potty it was the best thing.then winter hit us and we got slammed with Covid, flu, and noro virus and we kind of fell off the EC train. by 8 months she was less inclined to sit on the potty for periods of time and now it’s just been getting worse. we just hit a year and she will pee on the potty maybe like 2-3x a day when SHE wants to and is refusing to sit if she has to poo. I’m talking screaming arching the back, throwing her self off the toilet, idk what to do. I don’t want to create any anxiety for her I know I should have kept going when we were sick but like idk what to do now. anyone have any recommendations. we have tried both the big potty and her little potty I’ve tried sitting up there with her, putting the little potty in the bath tub, nothing seems to be working.

I have a 6.5 months old who I have been doing lazy EC with since she was about 4 months. I sit her on the potty at diaper changes and after she wakes up and she eats and catch a few pees like that (very few poops so far). Recently it’s been a bit harder to catch pees because she either does not pee at all after waking up sometimes, or pees as soon as I open her diaper. What has worked for you guys to gain a few seconds to get all the way down to the potty?

Also, I have been very confused by something. When she is with her diaper on I feel like she can be dry for 30-40 minutes while awake sometimes, but as soon as I remove her diaper, she pees every 10 minutes. Is that possible?! I thought babies peed less when diaper free, not more!

My boy is 23/months old we have been lazy EC’ers since he was sitting at 7 months. I am the most consistent with him and when im home with home 4 days a week. Grandma watches him the other days puts him on the potty occasionally but isn’t convinced it’s helpful.

Anyway, he generally pees for me when placed on the potty and will poop consistently but never signals. Whenever I ask him it’s a “yes” if he wants to get out of something else and a “no” if he is enjoying what he is doing lol.

I’m wondering if going diaper free for a few hours before and after his nap will be helpful to teach him to cue or if it needs to be all or nothing. Grandma thinks he is way too young and wont be on board for cleaning a diaper free toddler.

Edit for typos*

We've been doing a bit ic EC for about a week and my 5m old loves it.

But I find myself not looking forward to sitting on the bathroom floor with her, reaching in different directions to empty the potty and throw the wipes away, then struggle to put her cloth nappy back on her in my lap, which I never do properly from that angle.

Are there some organisational tricks people are using?