conflicts about my decision
Hi im 25yr old foreigner in Tokyo, I earn decent salary and my english is IELTS8.5.
I have been living in Japan for over 10years but I've always been feeling like an outlier. I can speak like a native but not enough cultural immersion like actual Japanese, my mindset tends to be too "liberal" for some societal aspects of Japan. But I mask it well recently and I work in international tech company, and pay is decent for my age.
Although I've always wanted to find passion/purpose in my career and vet seemed to be fitting since I've been finding foster parents for street animals since I was 14.
I've volunteered in TNR clinic for 2months,
I've applied for European vet schools and accepted,
although because of financial reasons I had to take gap year.
Now I'm thinking of applying for 100% scholarship school and if that does not work out, self fund myself to study in EU.
But I have also concern about this move since I come from traditional Asian family, and although they are supportive(they still think vet is "just" animal doctor) my family expect me to have baby and settle down. And my cousin went to EU for her Uni paid by her parents, saw how hard it is in EU, and she quit Uni. And I'm hearing critiques like that she "failed" "played with her parents money"etc.
And when I reflect in myself, I get paid a decent amount and If I continue, Id get paid more, get house or something. And that is what seems to be the smart move here. Although I say to myself I can grind and money is not important, I still value money and comfort.
And since everyone I talk to is very ignorant/not informed about for example how important neutering is, or just don't care about them much. So that makes me think that I wouldn't be able to convince them, and have good business If everyone is not caring much?
I had a "friend" even tell me "if you love animals too much you're lacking in human skills" etc.
And I'm already starting to get overwhelmed/tired of how much force I have to push through If I choose this path.
And just in general feeling like this is a dumb move.
But also feels like it's basically killing part of me if i just climb ladder in tech and have comfy life w idk some guy and a baby. (although tech is cool) (and I know recently Ive found out im bi I could never date a woman or adopt baby because of the traditional family dynamic too.)
Im venting a lot here but basically what I want to ask is "is it worth it?" "is it more smart to save up money and not fail?" "is EU even worth it? or is it just me trying to escape Japan?" "am I just convincing myself to be vet and choose harder life?" "is the best decision just accept that this is adult life that everyone goes through, and accept that u ended up in tech and stay in corporate, make money since im already 25 and has to make mature choice?" I feel like my vet dream is just same as 16yr old girl choosing her uni. But the reality is im 25 and in this life stage what we should do is stick with what u have make money since every job is just a job eventually.