De-escalation from partners to platonic partners
Hi lovely RAs! I am new to RA in the sense that I have been more comfortable calling myself that the last 6 months or so, before that I labeled myself polyamorous.
I have a partner, we've been together for a little over 12 months. I think he's demi/aromantic and we've been struggling on and off with romantic expectations. I have done a lot of work on myself, reflecting upon my own expectations regarding romance, being more clear with assumptions, with what I need and want and digging deep into what that really is and not something I've picked up along the way (it's also valid to want that). But we end up at the same spot lace every time: he wants space, I want closeness. He wants autonomy, I want plans. Etc etc etc. Typical chaser / pursuer dynamic. I also would say I have some insecure attachment wounds and have been actively working on creating more security in myself and my own life. Anyway, yesterday we had another talk that escalated because of PMS and work stress, but I arrived at a place where I don't know if us as a romantic couple makes sense anymore.
So my question is: how does one de-escalate from romantic partners to platonic partners? I still want to be partners, I still want to cuddle, sleep together (non-sexually) and have a close and intimate relationship but without the romantic expectations. Does anyone have any advice, any sunshine stories etc? Or any structure of de-escalation that has worked?
Very thankful for your replies!