So tired of being the default parent even when I'm physically at my desk working from home
I work from home in our tiny, older apartment and my husband also works. The second I sit down at my laptop I might as well be invisible because apparently I'm still the only functional adult.
Today I had a meeting I could not miss. I reminded him twice, closed the bedroom door, and put my headphones on. Fifteen minutes later the toddler was slamming on the door, crying and calling for me. My husband was right there, but somehow I was still the one who had to fix it. He did the usual: tried for about 30 seconds, then shrugged and said, "She wants you." As if that makes it my problem.
To top it off, a delivery was dropped in the lobby and I caught it on the building camera. My first thought was, "I should go grab it before someone steals it." So there I was, on mute, trying to open the door quietly, keep an eye on the package, and calm our kid, all while staying on the meeting.
He's not a bad dad. He loves her, changes diapers, plays with her. But the mental load and the emotional labor always fall to me. I'm exhausted from being the one who anticipates everything and still getting interrupted.
Please don't tell me to "just communicate" like I haven't tried. I just needed to vent to other moms who get how lonely it feels to be the default parent in your own home.