Regaining LSD level spirituality without doing it again?
Kinda long post here but would love some advice:
About a decade ago I experimented with LSD and but it felt like my personality changed almost overnight for the best, like I became my truest self with no ego.
I became this happy-go-lucky hippie version of myself. Super loving, open, spiritual, huge into manifestation, curious about people, willing to talk to random strangers. Conversations felt effortless. I cared way less about image or what people thought of me and just felt deeply connected to life.
Over time that slowly faded. Part of it was joining a fraternity in college that, looking back, had a lot of ego/status culture. I became so much more aware of image, perception, and just being judged. Then after graduation I went through a little Adderall addiction phase to perform at work and feel like that pushed me even further away from this spirituality and eventually into feeling like an emotionless zombie stuck in adult life.
I’ve thought about taking LSD again for many reasons but this has been the most compelling pull. It felt like I achieved a decades worth of meditation practice overnight. Only thing is, I’m not confident I’d have a good time being a stressed out adult now.
Has anyone experienced this? Not “I miss drugs,” but “I miss the version of myself that felt open, spiritual, carefree and connected.” How do you get that back without chasing psychedelics again?
TLDR: I experienced an ego death 10 years ago from LSD. Looking to achieve it again without drugs.