u/Ydr0w

So... I fell off a parachute here and haven't really explored anything regarding my gender so far, but I felt like it would be good for me to talk about this:

I'm 22, amab, and after seeing this subreddit' name and reading some experiences I felt like maybe someone could relate/understand at least partially what I'm feeling. It is weird for me to talk about this because I don't actually feel unconfortable at all in my life as a male and being perceived this way.

The thing is that, at the same time, if a genie appeard in front of me and offered for me to become a woman permanently, I would wihtout thinking twice, and sometimes I even think I'd be much happier. When I made this mental exercise I suddenly realized I've known this answer for a long while as if it is only natural/obvious.

I think that the reason why this never really takes the stage in my life and I never adress the feeling (although I remeber feeling something similar since I was 15 or earlier) is because I actually feel ok being a man and at the same time exploring being a woman would face so much resistance from all my social circles and ppl I really love. Even more than that, I think it faces so much resistance from myself - like I'm not allowed to act/feel a certain way and I'm an impostor for even wanting to try...

...but some more mental gymnastics made me realize that, if I was sure I was being perceived as a woman, I'd love to wear clothing that looks more feminine, for exemple.

I don't think I'd act like a different person overall, even in terms of hobbies, its just that, at some instance, I imagine being perceived as female would feel so much lighter, like a rock was being lifyed from the bottom of my soul (and I do understand that, at a practical level, it actually comes with so much more hardships, like mysoginy). Also, I like my current life a lot, I have a few very good friends and familly and girlfriend (some I even think would understand it if I accepted the genie's wish), and there's nothing I fear more than beign alone, if none of these people actually understood it I'd be lost.

Anyway, I tried to describe the feeling the best I can, I guess there's more to it but the post is already kinda long.

Is it ok to feel this way? Does this make any sense?