r/bigender

I'm questioning myself a little. I feel like i wouldn't mind particularly being called by any pronoun whether it be he/him, she/her, or etc.

But i haven't ever felt any kind of gender dysphoria before. I'm quite content with my male body, i don't feel any need to change it. But i feel like in terms of mind and spirit i could potentially be both female and male at once.

Using multiple is cool and I like it for other people, but I am only comfortable with he/him. I even had a soft-desisting phase before stating hormones where I went back to being completely female presenting, but I still used he/him. I enjoyed that juxtaposition.

How do you feel about it? I sometimes feel a bit insecure as a bigender person because I'm only interested in "he".

Hi :)

Ich (Amab/34) habe eine männliche Geschlechtsidentität, aber ich fühle mich innerlich, sehr oft feminin. Teilweise wie eine Frau oder ein Mädchen. Diese Gefühle kamen damals in meiner Pubertät hoch, als ich ca 13 Jahre alt war. Davor gab es keine richtigen Anzeichen. Nun bin ich seit Jahren aus der Pubertät raus, aber viele Gefühle und Emotionen, fühlen sich weiblich an. Dazu kommt, dass mein Geist oder mein Spirit, kein richtiger Mann ist, sondern wirklich sehr feminin oder eine Frau ist. Zumindest was man gesellschaftlich darunter versteht. Ich mag mein äußeres Aussehen nicht und wäre optisch gerne femininer. Ich bin verwirrt. Kann mir jemand Tipps geben was es ist oder geht es jemanden ähnlich wie mir?

Danke

So I'm still on my journey of selfdiscovery. I'm 22 and consider myself male with a feminization kink, but I think there might also be a possibility that I'm bigender.

Somedays I look in the mirror and I'm happy with my workout progress, with my growing chest muscles and arms and sixpack etc. and I like my facial and body hair.

On other days I wanna have a big round booty, a snatched waist and flat belly, maybe even breasts and I wanna be completely shaven.

The reason I'm still not sure about being bigender is because I think I'm also addicted to porn so it's hard to look at this neutrally. My desire to be feminine is often (tho not always, but mostly) connected to arousal. I know I have to overcome this and take a looong break to take a look at this properly.

But still, assuming that I might be bigender and I wanna have both body types. How can I do that? These are the exact opposites.

Any recommendations or advice for people in similar positions? Or maybe you went through the same thing with the kink and the porn addiction?

Thanks for any help!

Basically, I identify as bigender (female and male). I was assigned female at birth, but there are times when I feel more like a man. I don’t consider myself transgender and I don’t want to transition. My gender identity is just… both.

Something I’ve been thinking about lately is how poorly dating apps seem to handle this.
On one dating app I was using, I wanted to add “bigender” to my profile. The problem was that I had to select “non-binary” first and then choose bigender as a subtype. Apparently, even though my profile specifically said bigender, the app still categorized me as non-binary for its matching system.
For the longest time, I was getting very few likes and basically no matches, which seemed strange because it’s a pretty popular dating app. Eventually I looked into it and realized that if someone’s preferences were set to only show them men or only show them women, I apparently wouldn’t show up for either of them because the app had me categorized as non-binary.

So I changed my gender on the app to female. Suddenly, I started getting likes and matches again.
But now there’s a different problem: I’m being shown as a woman in the matching system. I can put “bigender” in my bio, but if someone has their preferences set to men, the app won’t show me to them at all. And that just frustrates me.

I don’t want to have to choose between being categorized as just a woman or being categorized as non-binary when neither option actually represents what I’m trying to tell people. I’m bigender. I identify as both female and male.
I really wish dating apps would allow people who identify as multiple genders to select multiple genders for their profile, so that someone could say “I’m female AND male” rather than having to pick one category that determines who can see them.
I don’t know if other bigender people have run into this, or if I’m misunderstanding how these apps work. I’m mostly just wondering if anyone else has experienced the same thing.

Sorry, just wanted to rant into the void for a minute. 😅

So I might not be bigender. Although I connected with some of the stories here I don’t think I connect with it enough and don’t want to force myself. Love u guys.

So I recently embraced that I am bigender (AMAB/ fem) and I am currently working through fleshing out my fem side. My current vision is I have some fake nails in pre done styles, glue them on when I want to be more ladylike and take them off when I want to re enter boy mode. I realized that nail glues tend to be kind of strong and I'm wondering if there's a brand/glue type out there that specializes in making the glue weak enough to be painlessly removed. If there's a technique I could do with normal glue to achieve the same effect, please let me know as well!

Hi there! It’s been a long time since I’ve had an issue with being a woman. When I was around 20 years old I found out that I felt bigender, but as time went by I surrounded myself with people who didn’t really think in stereotypes and expected me to be a « woman », upon which I didn’t really give it much thought anymore and just dressed however I felt like. If I absolutely couldn’t wear a skirt I just went a bit more masculine, if I suddenly liked to wear dresses, I did. My bf isn’t a stereotypical man either, so that made everything easier. But now I gained a little weight and my boobs, which never really bothered me as they were very small anyway, have gotten a little bigger. Still it’s just an AAA cup but I feel them more and all of a sudden I’m back in my gender dysphoria. Have any of you guys any ways in which you cope with these kind of moments? What are some tools that might help cope / distract from the dysphoria?

My issues is I feel like an alien regardless whatever my gender is. Like right now I feel so disconnected from being a woman but being a man is just what people call me. And idk if transitioning is healthy for me but I don’t always want to be seen as a man. I just feel so disconnected from myself.

I’m annoyed cause this happened last year. I found genderfluid and thought “that’s me great.” I found bigender and thought “wow even better.” And now it’s back to this.

TW primary commenter is gaslighting non binary people by attempting to pretend Buck's previous good deeds somehow make his current extremism irrelevant.

Source: Grayson V Fitness - The History of Trans Men is Beautiful...

See his latest video on trans men history. Nbs have commented on the wider video supporting Grayson, and as you can see people have attempted to inform Grayson on Buck's behaviour of the last few years. Over a week, no removal, no edit, no addressing the situation. Nothing.

This video has less than 10k views and even less will of seen this so I thought I'd simply show it. Grayson benefitted from our community by initially coming out as non binary until he passed for a man. Now he has left us in the weeds regarding the largest transphobic trans man who has done very extreme things recently including sharing an AI nude image of Samantha Lux.

I am tired and disappointed of binary passing trans people throwing us under the bus, whether it is outright enby exclusion or endorsement of people who do that.

Either check my profile for the receipts if he tries to hide it after this, or do a page search for "Buck Angel" and the comment thread where he endorses him will appear.

Hi, I am amab and starting my freshman year of college about an hour away from where i grew up, the biggest thing im struggling with is how to tell people im bigender cuz i only really accepted it myself a week ago. I pride myself on my ability to talk to anyone but how should i introduce myself, its not a large school or a large town and i worry i might not be able to make any friends.

TL;DR: My dad (who I’ve always known as “Dad”) recently came out as bigender. I’m trying to be supportive, but I’m struggling emotionally to still see him as just my dad and not “a different person.” I’m also unsure about boundaries and whether I can still interact with him the same way. Looking for advice on how people adjusted and whether it eventually felt normal.

I’m 20, and my dad recently came out to me, my mum and my 15-year-old sister as bi/gender. I’m trying really hard to be supportive, but I’m finding the whole thing much harder emotionally than I expected and I’m feeling quite guilty about that.
I’ve known my dad as “Dad” my entire life. He’s always presented as a man around our family, and that’s the version of him I’ve grown up with and built my relationship with. He’s told us that he’s still Dad and wants us to continue seeing him that way, which I absolutely understand and want to do.
The difficult part is that, in my head, I currently feel like I’ve discovered this completely different person. I know rationally that he’s still the same person, but emotionally I’m struggling to connect the dad I’ve always known with this other side of him. Sometimes I look at him and instead of just thinking “that’s Dad”, my brain immediately thinks about his gender identity and femininity. I don’t want that to happen, and I’m worried I’ll never get back to just seeing him as my dad.

I’m also struggling with the femininity specifically. He is fem-presenting/dresses femininely around other people, but hasn’t really done that around our family. I think part of what’s difficult is knowing that this is something he does separately from us and that there’s this side of him I’ve never known about.
I’m also finding myself questioning whether I’m “allowed” to interact with him in exactly the same way anymore. Can I still ask Dad for things? Can I still go to him for advice? Can I still have the same parent/child relationship? I know the answer should be yes, but emotionally there’s a weird disconnect at the moment.

I think I’m grieving the simplicity of how I understood my dad before, even though I don’t want him to be anyone other than himself. I don’t want to take this away from him. I want him to be happy and I want to support him. I just need time to process the fact that this is a part of him that I’ve never seen before.

For anyone who is bigender themselves, or has had a child/parent come out as bigender, how did you deal with this kind of adjustment? Did it eventually become normal and did you eventually stop seeing your parent as a “different person” and just see them as your parent again?

I’m not looking for anyone to tell me that my dad is wrong or that I shouldn’t accept him. I genuinely want to understand and become more comfortable with this. I just don’t know how to get my brain and emotions to catch up with what I intellectually understand.