I made a reddit account like 2 years ago so I could ask a question on this subreddit on how to write bigender characters.
I never wrote that character but I AM bigender now so we stay winning!
At the moment I'm trying to figure out if I'm just a cis women who feels very androgynous/kind of masculine sometimes (this is a distant feeling rather than choosing to present that way) or if I'm actually experiencing two different gender identities in fluctuation.
Most online most discussions are around the two genders being women and man not women so it makes it more confusing.
I'll say I'm also a lesbian so I feel like possibly that's effected my experience of my gender as well.
I have always been a cis boy but after watching tadc I have tried out some different genders.
I have settled on bigender and when I secretly (I haven't came out yet) express my femme it makes me happy
But when I am in everyday life I find it hard to be more femme and it doesn't come naturally. I feel that however much I try I always want to be more femme, but I kind of feel it may be a performance
When I read other posts they say how they never fit in and being bigender let's them be truly themselves, but I dont think I feel as strongly about it
I don't know if I would be living a lie if I kept on being this
I have only decided to try bi for a few days btw
I hope someone can help me with my struggle
I have always been a cis boy but after watching tadc I have tried out some different genders.
I have settled on bigender and when I secretly (I haven't came out yet) express my femme it makes me happy
But when I am in everyday life I find it hard to be more femme and it doesn't come naturally. I feel that however much I try I always want to be more femme, but I kind of feel it may be a performance
When I read other posts they say how they never fit in and being bigender let's them be truly themselves, but I dont think I feel as strongly about it
I don't know if I would be living a lie if I kept on being this
I have only decided to try bi for a few days btw
I hope someone can help me with my struggle
Ps: I posted this on lgbteens but for some reason the mods removed it so I am posting here
I dont know who needs to hear this but people who aren't trans keep misunderstanding bigender as being two people.
Would you say a bisexual person is two people one gay one straight? Of course not
This is actually very harmful as its associating queer gender or sexuality as synonymous with mental illness, something heavily pushed as a hateful ideology by bigots and phobes. Don't give them an inch.
We're normal human variation. Not confused or mentally ill, by token of being bigender.
We have been recognised and recorded for literal centuries.
Some people are queer. It's normal.
Hey everyone!
I got a job as a security officer at a hospital. I'm more new to the area so everyone is new. I'm kinda going threw some stuff since my last shift. It's only my third day.
Anyways, it all men working in this job, and they tend to banter in the security office since there's no cameras in there. Some of them are not that mature unfortunately but it is what it is. Their ages range kind of all over from 19 to 30 and probably some being a little older.
My last shift two of them were joking about just every red flag you could think of. Homophobic, transphobic, racist, anti furry. The list.
I stopped them at one point and called them out on it just sort of listing off all the things they managed to be in that list in the span of one conversation. They said they arn't actually any of those things and it was all jokes. I was told, "we treat this office like Vagus. What happens in the office never happened." Which I get. They would be fired on the spot if they said it anywhere else in the hospital.
I semi believe they didn't mean any of it but part of my don't think they are being fully honest. I think it's sort of a, I don't think I'm those things even when I am type of deal. They seem like nice people generally and I think they would accept me for what I am, a bisexual furry trans person, but I really don't want to make my own life hell...
😅 one of them made a joke about my wife being a him, as sort of a guy joke jab at me at the end of my shift when they found out i was married. Thing is I have 2 partners and one is male. I just... didn't know what to say. Just sort of froze not expecting it to come up so quickly.
Just wish people were a little more attentive. I'm new and could be a bunch of those things. I would never do that to someone new to a job. Even if they don't mean it, I still feel uncomfortable at some of the comments like one if them using the word "tranny" as if it isn't a slur for trans people.
Me personally,
I really like the movie “Mulan” from Disney. The film really encapsulates the masculine and feminine balancing the hero has to do in order to accomplish her goal. She has to learn to harness her masculinity while also teaching all the other men to embrace their femininity: like when the three men dress in drag to confuse the guards.
I get boy euphoria from:
Baking 🧁
Running errands 💼
And being good with kids
And I get girl euphoria from:
Political research & debate 🎓
Studying film 🎥
And painting 🎨
So basically I'm bigender and I need help can someone explain what it means also I need help is this the right sub to talk about cross dressing
Anyone done that? I've lately been feeling this drive. To let people have my old name back. Make it no longer a dead name. I see it as part of my integration, and honestly, a reflection of a growing sense that I had to become a woman to become a... might not be ready to say that one yet. But yeah. The desire isn't going away.
I've tried to do it some in trans spaces but people would rather not know, get triggered, get concerned.
I don't want to give it in cis/het spaces because I don't pass well enough for people to reliably realize I'm transfeminine (or whatever that's not *man*) without heavy apparel cues. I'm ok with hypervisibility; this feels like a recipe for erasure and invisibility, especially at work.
Hey everyone. I really want to try boxers but like I have no idea what size I need or what the best ones are. For context I'm an AFAB but obviously bigender. I want to wear more masculine clothing and this will be perfect because I can hide it quite easily. Please help me with this. I don't want to go into a store because I'm afraid I'll get judged for it and my parents are really not supportive so I can't ask my family for help. I would appreciate any advice or help.
I've finally found the label that describes me, I think. Only took over 35 years. I'm AFAB but always felt like a boy. I was always fighting about having to wear dresses and not being allowed to cut my hair really short, not to mention being hurt every time the reason for anything was "because you're a girl". Eventually I accepted I'll never be a boy, but I didn't accept being limited by gender. So I became the weird girl. You know, the one who wasn't afraid to hang out with boys and the one who was always too aggressive. I never fit in with girls and I could never really be one of the boys. Thankfully I did have a couple close female friends who accepted me as I am and mostly assigned the masculine tasks and roles to me - calling me king instead of queen playfully, although at this point I never claimed to be a boy.
I always looked at my issues through the lens of feminism. Women shouldn't be put into these narrow boxes. Everyone should be able to present themselves how they want and have the interests they want. But then a few weeks ago I was reminded about where my issues actually come from. I made a joke about looking like a dude and was very quickly shut down by "you don't look like a guy". It was a completely understandable reply in the situation and most likely meant as a kindness, but what came as a surprise was how much it hurt. I see the masculinity in my features when I look into the mirror. It's easy to forget that others might not. The comment brought a whole heap of painful memories back to the forefront.
Thing is though, I don't want to transition. I like my body. I have a very nice female body, nothing wrong with it. It would also feel like a betrayal, because I do appreciate the femininity in me too. I don't think it would change much either. It would just be the other side of the same card: a male presentation with hidden femininity. I don't care about pronouns either, they mean nothing to me. I think I only hope people could see me for what I am. It does happen sometimes. On occasion someone tells me to stay a man or some other random comment that captures my essence and it always feels incredibly good.
So, the problem I guess is the following. What do I do with a label if the only meaning it gives is that I wish the world was different? I still can't really fit in anywhere. I pretty much feel like an intruder in this kind of communities, too, because it's so easy to hide who I am. A female body dressed in masculine clothing just means a tomboy to most people. I guess I now understand why I'm weird, but I'm not sure if it's helpful at all. I just feel incredibly lost.
Sorry if this doesn't fit the community well, I did try to get a better community, but I (19 Demifluid Girl) am looking for a bigender name. I have a name for She/Her and She/They or She/Xenogender, but not for She/Him. Specifically, I'm looking at a name that matches all my other names, which are all twists on Theodore, my given name. Any suggestions for a bigender name?
Hi, im a 27 y.o male. 2 years ago when i was getting therapy i discovered i have a 'woman' in me and i let her live herself for months. I wore woman clothes outside, made up, wore a wig and i was feeling good but not myself. Like she was an alter ego. Me and her are different personalities. Then months later i had to give up living like that because of some problems coming from our culture. I decided to live as myself but i still feel her in me. Sometimes i dont feel her, especially when im in a romantic relationship with a woman who makes me feel more manly. I mostly feel her when i feel myself weak, emotional and lonely. Another thing to know is im a heterosexual myself and woman in me is bisexual. Maybe i coded in my brain 'Man shouldnt feel emotional and woman can do' and want to be emotional in woman form. That's a possibility. But feeling her that intensive in my emotinal times a bit scaries me because some day maybe when im married with a woman, if she doesnt know my alter ego, it will be a very hard situation for us both to explain. So im trying to make clear what im exactly experiencing. I hope i explained myself good, waiting for your opinions.
I’m transmasc. I’ve been stealth and binary for YEARS because I internalized some anti-nb rhetoric from my mother and thought I had to “take transitioning seriously” in order to be loved. I got rid of all my cute clothes because I thought I had to.
A problem I ran into more and more down the line: I’m still very much a girl, my experience with femininity is just heavily reliant on me also being masc.
It lingered and lingered until my current gf, a lesbian, developed a crush on me. She saw what I didn’t. Holy shit, am girl.
I’m restocking my closet!!!! I have skirts and rompers and pink and OH I have so much to wear!!!! Masc clothes, fem clothes, andro clothes, clothes for every kind of gender day!
I’m out. My parents don’t get why I’m “going backwards” but I’ve realized they don’t need to. I’m cute :3
(Fem terms in the comments if you can!)