New partner
Im not sure where to start... my girlfriend and I are both queer. We've been together for 3 and a half years. In the very beginning i asked her about monogamy vs poly, and she let me know straight up she was monogamous. Thats been okay with me, i love her and want to build a life with her. This whole time we've been in a happy healthy relationship. There was this friend we shared though, it started out as a joke. One of her friends said she shipped the three of us or whatever. We get along great with this person who ill call P. It was a " joke' for over a year, which was just confusing. It's all felt very natural this whole time. I was fed up with the tension you could cut with a knife anytime the three of us hung out alone. I finally told my girlfriend to text them and ask them if its really just a joke or if there's actually something there. They were very honest. Anyways P has always considered themselves as a lesbian. My partner is a woman and i am a nonbinary man. (Afab) P also is asexual. I knew the dynamic would be different between each person. P told my girlfriend that they couldn't be in a romantic relationship with me, but instead it would be more of a queer platonic relationship situation. Which im fine with as im not physically attracted to P, but it did through me off a little bit, because i would describe my feelings for them as romantic. The way P described what the relationship would look like between us, to me also sounded romantic, and is what i was wanting the dynamic to be like... i guess im just confused because we have different definitions of romantic attraction. I dont know if i should tell P that or if it would freak them out. Im also not sure what the relationship between P and my girlfriend is going to look like and i am nervous. I trust boh of them, we've talked about boundaries, the conversation couldn't have gone better. I am a little nervous though. Im the type of person who needs a lot of reassurance but i have a hard time asking for it. Im worried that i might end up feeling like im competing with P for my girlfriend and i dont want that to happen. Ive never really heard about this specific dynamic anywhere and ive been looking. I guess im looking for advise or something. Maybe some kind words to make me feel less crazy. This is all still very new.