Can't stop cheating and not sure if I want to.
Apologies if this is hard to read, it's my first post and I'm in a weird headspace right now.
Been married almost 2 years now. Started cheating 2 years before that. At first I was just exploring my bisexuality. Posting on Reddit and responding to other people's posts. Now I can't stop and I'm not even sure if I want to. I love my wife and feel guilty when I think about it but there's honestly nothing more arousing than the taboo of chatting with strangers, sharing pictures, and finally meeting and taking our clothes off.
Normally I am very shy and reserved however the few times now that I've met up with a new partner I have no problems taking control, being confident, and performing my best. It's very confusing since that's who I WANT to be in my everyday life but can only find it when I am cheating.
Just curious if anyone else thinks similarly and how you've managed.