My partner’s parents pretended to be accepting and then told him they don’t agree with it
This is my first time posting in here and I’m hoping to get some help. My bf is ftm and so far I’ve been the most supportive person he knows which breaks my heart tbh. His friends treat him differently now that he isn’t just a lesbian. For some reason that changes things I guess.
But not only that, his parents seemed unbothered and supportive when he came out as trans. He was anxious all week and they could tell. (We live out of state so we went for a long visit) but the other day he tried to talk to his mom. She basically told him she and his dad don’t agree with it, they don’t wanna look stupid in front of friends and family, he was born a girl and will always be a girl, etc.
I saw how blatantly heartbroken he is. We knew it would take time, and that it would take getting used to and whatnot and he didn’t even care if they used his old pronouns but everything she said about it just broke him. He came inside and went to the bathroom like normal but I knew something was wrong. As soon as he came out I went to hug him and could tell he had been crying. He broke down into tears for a while before he could tell me what happened. And note he literally doesn’t cry. This is the first time I’ve ever seen him like this.
I truly don’t know what to do. I’m furious with his mom. I was really close to her but apparently me saying his correct pronouns felt like me shoving it down her throat, which I understand and was not my intention. I wish she had just said something to me about it. We had thought if I was using the correct ones it may help her adjust to hearing them but we never tried to tell her to use them or anything. But because of that she started ignoring me. Honestly sucks because she really did feel like a second mom to me. Now that’s just out the window.
But everything she said infuriates me. She may have thought those things but to say that to your child who was TERRIFIED to be himself around you in the first place because of your judgment is appalling. I can’t imagine caring more about what others think than how your child is feeling. It’s even worse because they made it seem like they were supportive and then just decided to say all of these things.
I’m at such a loss. I don’t know what to do considering I feel absolutely helpless right now. How do we navigate this? How do I help him navigate this?