Pip and Tee 🥺
I haven't drawn seriously since 2023 but felt compelled to try again today. Mechanical pencil on some printer paper I found lol.
I would say it's not the best but still good but this is one of the best things I've ever drawn 😭
I'm autistic (21F) and have dealt with ARFID all my life, but that's about all my interaction with EDs and I never really encountered body image issues. I was always much more worried about trying to stay healthy and alive. I have a lot of financial guilt from my childhood and adolescence that resurfaces when I'm stressed.
My gf (21F) has autism, CPTSD and DID, and she is recovering from anorexia + bulimia. (Also interstitial cystitis - a chronic bladder condition). She didn't realise it until I pointed out that she grew up privileged and even a bit rich.
I found her ED diary from a couple years ago and it just baffled me. It makes absolutely no sense to me. I don't know if it's my lower-income background compared to her privileged upbringing, but I was always thankful to have the food on the table. I would only restrict my eating because I felt bad that my parents spend so much money on me already with school and meds.
We've been friends since high school (±7 years now) and started dating earlier this year. I was in a private high school because my childhood psychiatrist said I would not survive in a public school.
Her previous boyfriend set her back in recovery quite a bit due to his comments on her body. She also seems to need outside approval for everything. So his approval meant everything to her, and she felt she could only get it if she was hot and skinny.
It's another can of worms, but she's talking to him again and it makes me so uncomfortable. It's been about 3 months since they broke up. He's not malicious, but he's young and stupid. And I really don't think it's good for her.
She says she is trying to recover, and I can understand that she also struggles with even wanting to recover. She still desperately wants to be skinny. It's still attractive to her. Does she think being skinny will fix all her problems?
Mind you, I'm quite a bit heavier than her and not skinny, but she says I am anyways. I couldn't care less if I'm skinny. As long as I feel and look healthy, I'm happy.
How do you deal with the constant bad self-talk your partner does? When my gf says she's "fat" and "gross" it confuses and upsets me. And I know it will probably never go away. No matter what I say it won't help.
She is eating much better and not purging, but if we are getting dressed or going out somewhere, it seems to become her top priority. It's not about spending time with me anymore, it's about if others will thinks she's fat or ugly.
She also participates in a lot of other self destructive behaviour. She doesn't care for her health like she should. She smokes weed multiple times a week and vapes constantly. She never exercises (she does have a chronic bladder condition that causes chronic pain though, but even just some walking would be good).
I'm so tired.