u/YourRoyalGarbageness

I work in healthcare in a regular family practice setting, not speciality (important).

RN on the phone: so bottom line is you wanna speak to [redacted] Onocology?

RN few seconds later after the patient replies: I don't believe [redacted (us, the regular family practice)] and [redacted] Onocology are part of the same system.

A few minutes later the RN is apologizing if she sounded rude which she wasn't sounding rude because I was listening.

After the phone call ends I asked the RN about it. She told me the patient says we were part of the speciality healthcare which we aren't. The names aren't even the same nor close to being the same. The patient had our number and had called us instead.

RN googled the number speciality place and gave it to the patient but it was the wasn't the number she had (which was our number) so patient got even more mad. Guess patient had a PhD and was smarter and several pay grades above the RN yet couldn't simply search up the correct number.

OP:

https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/s/Yk3Tg0WrTt

Update 1:

https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/s/Bx7TUTMGwA

I wanted to wait until the funeral was over for a final update.

Addressing a few comments I've seen. Inheritance and funerals not costing more than a couple of thousands: the life insurance money was not an inheritance and my mom made it clear it was to go towards funeral expenses because our funerals lasts for a couple days so it costs thousands and thousands including drinks, meals, and snacks for those days for guests. It was my older bro who had to handle funeral expenses so at least it wasn't going to ex bro.

So unforunately there was no storming out of my ex bro because I showed up. We avoided each other. On the burial day he actually spoke to me because he misheard that my other bro borrowed money from me (which he didn't as I said no because he already owed me thousands so a history of not paying money back) and I was so shocked that I just automatically replied.

My older sister tried gaslighting and guilting me. My other sisters helped pay for decorations of the funeral home and I opted not to help. I wasn't going to pay a cent in helping any of them. My sister said that it wasn't to make themselves look good, it was my mom that said she wanted her funeral to be "extravagant" so she could see in the afterlife and ne happy that we made her funeral look good and I'll feel guilty if I didn't chip in. Later it popped into my head that I should've said so why didn't anyone do anything then so she can actually see hear and be happy WHILE SHE WAS ALIVE. Now that she's dead you guys decided to finally do something for her so you can put it on your dime and not feel guilty yourselves that you barely lifted a hand while she was still living.

Anticlimatic but I'm just glad it's over so I can put this behind me and go live my life. On a much much happier note: I don't think I mentioned it but I started living my life not too long after my mom was put in a nursing home. Moved in with my now fiance of 4 years and been living life since then. My mom passed about 1.5 months after I gave birth so I think she was just holding on to meet my baby before she left. She got to meet and hold my baby a few times! My fiance and I are having a destination wedding next year on our 5th anniversary! None of my siblings are invited nor anyone from my side since I'm not close to them but my nieces are since I'm close to them. I'm so excited! It was my fiance that was my rock throughout all this, being there through everything including helping me with my mom after she came home from rehab after her stroke. I have no words for how greatful I am to have him.

Here is the link to the original post. Hope I'm doing it right as I've never done an update before.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/s/Av9h8r2dKo

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Didn't think I'd need an update but boy it just got intense. I forgot to include my gender in the first post but I'm a female.

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So for some reason when my mom did her life insurance she made both my brother and me beneficiaries for half each. I'm not of course going to keep the money because she didn't want us fighting over money that she paid for it herself to use for her funeral but welp, fighting over money we are. They all knew I was just waiting for the check to come then give them the money. (Spoiler: when it comes to money they've always came to me to borrow money because most of them are financially irresponsible).

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I woke up to a whole paragraph from my brother that he's cutting ties with me and I'm no longer his sister, how I stole a decade of SSI (social security income/supplementary income forgot which one) worth $90k and I should be ashamed of myself, freeloading off of my mom, he isn't gonna show up to the funeral if I showed up. Dude you can't dictate who shows up and who doesn't.

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Yes, my mom helped pay rent because she wanted to help her children but I wasn't the only one who lived with her. I was just the one who lived with her for the longest while the others lived for a few years then moved out here and there. And it's her money so she can do whatever she wants with it. Other than helping with rent I paid for everything else.

Spoiler: there was a time for about half a year where he couldn't find a job while living with us yet still allowed me to "steal" my mom's money while he freeloaded off of us too.

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My sister then called me because he decided to screenshot our convo and sent it to the siblings group chat. She said I shouldn't say I did "everything" because all I did was take my mom to doctor's appointments and that if I said that then what if relatives asks where all my mom's money went then I wouldn't be able to give them all that money since I was the one taking care of her.

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I'm heartbroken and sad my ex brother would go nuclear just because I wouldn't sign a $10k loan and it's the end of the world now but it's all for the better because now I see his true colors and can be guilt free that I wasn't doing enough for my mom. He crossed a bridge and burned it so I have one less sibling to deal with.

All involved are over 30 years of age.

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Background: I come from an Asian family where the daughter's are considered "outsiders" as in not part of the family anymore once married so daughters are "guest" now and the sons are valued more. Once parents passes away it's the son's duties to do the funeral. Funerals can lasts up to 3 days. It is very tedious, long and exhausting.

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Ever since I finished high school my many siblings basically dumped my parents onto me to be the sole care taker. My dad passed shortly after I finished high school so I've been caring for my mom. My siblings never bothered to come help me care for my mom and even when my mom asked them for help they always referred it back to me so I've gotten used to doing everything myself. They barely even came to visit my mom. My life had been put on hold to care for my mom for over a decade. I have a lot of resentment for my siblings.

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Over the years her health slowly declined. She got a stroke 2 years ago. Before she came home from rehab I told them I would need help caring for her. I said the same thing before I went back to work because we could not live on just a few hours of pca income as it doesn't pay much either. I had requested more pca hours but was only given a few extra hours temporarily. None of them came to help. Even my brother who lived with us at the time didn't help. She was put in a nursing home.

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Present: my mom passed a few weeks ago. Today my brother texted. He wants me to go take out a $10k loan because the life insurance check might not come in time before the funeral to pay for the funeral. My mom had paid for the life insurance herself because she doesn't want us going broke from paying for her funeral. She had said to me that she only wants a one day funeral yet my other brother wants a 2 day to "look good" in front of relatives (in this community people like to criticise and gossip). And of course most of my siblings are very bad with money so none of them especially the sons have money saved. They don't qualify for a loan either.

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Now with how I've barely gotten any help I think I've done my part while my mom was alive so it's my siblings turn. This funeral isn't even for my mom but to look good in front of my relatives so I've put my foot down and said I was not helping with anything moneywise. I told my brother I wasn't taking any loans out, it was their turn to figure things out. He got mad and tries to guilt trip me saying he's the only one who cares for her funeral. I said I spent this long taking care of her while none of them did anything. He said my mom was able bodied so she was able to take care of herself.

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Excuse me? You think the only part of taking care of someone means bathing them, cooking for them, wiping their butts, and feeding them? No. Even if able bodied there's other aspects of caring for them such as many doctors appointments, waking up to take them to the hospital at 1 AM, sleeping in an uncomfortable hospital recliner chair, calling into work because they're in the hospital so often and you don't know when the last time with them will be, being their chaffeur for their errands amongst many other things.

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Of course he didn't bother to read it and reply. Now I hope he knows know how I felt when it was all just me.