Amends advice
I am not experienced with this process but someone from my past reached out to make amends after we’ve had no contact for 25+ years. We had a messed up relationship in our youth that lasted for years and at the time we were both young, drunk and liked to sleep around. The relationship did lead to an abortion (which was for sure his) and during the whole 5 years or so I was for sure the one treated more poorly. Life and distance allowed me to break my addiction to him in college and I have really not thought about him much in the last 25 years. But of course I am now. Anyway, he reached out in a seemingly respectful way, saying he’s ready to take responsibility for being a dick and offering to have a conversation about it. I declined. We are both married with children and I don’t see why an emotional conversation (I assume it would be emotional?) is necessary 25 years later. I don’t really have resentment towards him, even though I know I deserved to be treated better and somehow even love him still (but definitely not in an I want to be with him way). Anyway I can’t stop thinking about this, fluctuating from being pissed he didn’t just leave it alone or write me a letter to worrying I that I didn’t allow him to get the closure he needed. I’m sure I did the right thing but there is a part of me that’s curious what he would have said. Also I don’t like the thought that anything between us would contribute to him messing up his life/still drinking but I’m probably making too much of this aspect. I don’t want to keep thinking about this but the brain is a bitch. IDK what question I’m asking here, but if you read it thanks for listening.