u/Ysunshiine

Hi everyone!

I started therapy not so long ago (26F) and I came here hoping I could talk with people who could help me and I give me some advice.

I’ve recently started seeing a therapist, and overall, he’s been wonderful. He’s kind, professional, respectful, and I already feel like he understands me very well. I actually left my last session thinking that he really gets me.

The problem is… I still can’t fully get past the fact that he’s a man.

It’s not that he’s done anything inappropriate or made me feel unsafe. Quite the opposite. This is entirely about me.

During the session itself, I actually feel okay but I’m kind of waiting for the session to end soon. And once I leave his office, I notice this lingering discomfort that I can’t really explain. It’s almost as if, after the session is over, my mind suddenly becomes very aware that I just opened up emotionally to a man, and I start overthinking everything. I don’t know if anyone else has experienced that.

For some reason, I find it much harder to be emotionally vulnerable with a man, even one who has given me every reason to trust him so far.

At the same time, part of me wonders whether this is actually something worth working through rather than avoiding. Maybe having a respectful, emotionally safe male therapist could help me challenge and ease some of my discomfort around men in general.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Did the discomfort fade over time or did you eventually decide you were more comfortable with a therapist of the same gender?

I’m really interested in hearing other people’s experiences and perspectives because I’m trying to figure out whether it’s worth continuing despite this discomfort, especially considering all the positive aspects of our work together.

It’s really relieving for me to be able to talk about this here because the discomfort I feel make me really uneasy and anxious as well (and well … I’m seeing a therapist because of severe anxiety).

Thank you for your time 🤍

Hiiii,

I finished TFOTA this year and I honestly didn’t expect it to stay in my mind this much. I think what I loved the most was the atmosphere, the morally grey characters, the tension and chemistry, and the feeling that the world was actually unpredictable. Great FMC too, Jude being beautifully written (as every character of TFOTA actually).

I’m curious: what do you usually read outside of Holly Black’s books? What are your favorite genres, authors, or “comfort reads”?

I’m asking because I feel like I’ve become a very picky reader. I don’t read a lot of fantasy, because I can very easily feel overwhelmed.

I’ve been trying but I found myself being struggling with the genre. I feel like a lot of fantasy books are starting to feel very similar: the same tropes, the same character dynamics, the same type of romance… and instead of being exciting, it’s becoming a little overwhelming because I’m constantly looking for something that feels fresh.

The Cruel Prince was one of those rare books where I felt completely immersed, and it’s honestly difficult to find something that gives me the same feeling.
I’d love to know what kinds of books you enjoy (outside of fantasy too)! Maybe your usual reading habits will help me discover something new?

Anyway I’d love to discuss about it and know what you think, if I’m the only one feeling like this or not! 🤗