Can I translate as I read it?
Reading this from Satori Reader:
公園には、私のようにウォーキングをしている人や、ジョギングをしている人、犬の散歩をしている人など、たくさんの人たちがいた。
The translation from Satori Reader is:
"In the park, there were lots of people: people who were walking like me, people who were jogging, people who were walking dogs, and so on."
When I read it though, my translation is this:
"In this park, there were people like me walking, people who were jogging, people walking their dogs and such, there were a lot of people."
I ended up with the above because I translated it as I read it.
Is my translation acceptable or wrong?