u/Yutojonin

I have a bit of numbness from some trauma that happened about 13yrs ago and since then the one time I can point at and say "I really felt that emotion like I think i used to" is after about the 24hr mark of insomnia. The longer the insomnia goes the more im.able to feel these emotions in a way im pretty sure is "normal" for me. My question is does anyonen else have any positive experiences/info about sleep deprivation or know why this happens?

Haven't been able to describe this in a way that feels understandable to others. Basically im on disability due to a severe anxiety disorder. If the domestic abuse never happened I may have been able to squeak by in life but after my trauma the anxiety m, thats now very near agoraphobia imo, seems mixed and fused into the mental health issues and im sooo much better than the last 8yrs. Buuut, I just can't seem to lessen how much the anxiety was magnified by the trauma. Its almost like my fight or fight respones got flipped 180°. I get cold sweats walking in the grocery store, but if im in a heated argument I can feel my heartbeat slow down and I feel focused and relaxed. Ever heard of anything similar?