u/Zeddblidd

Great show, saw it first on AcornTV, very glad to bring the first 4 series into the archive.

2026-256 / Zedd MAP: 69.65 / MLZ MAP: 63.97 / Score Gap: 5.68

Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / Criterion Channel

Country of Origin: United States

"Cad" vs. "Bounder": While both are dated terms, a cad generally refers to a man who behaves dishonorably - especially in exploiting or deceiving women. A bounder is a broader insult for a trickster or a socially objectionable man who brazenly breaches etiquette.

The picture show features one of each… the real life story and courtroom circus which ensued after the rather dramatic, rooftop theater murder… I don’t know - these words feel insufficient. Neither Mrs. Lady Zedd nor I knew what we were getting into - we saw Joan Collins and Ray Milland and said yes, please, and thank you. If I’d known about the true elements, I’m sure I’d have moved on.

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From IMDb: The Girl in the Red Velvet Swing is the true story of Evelyn Nesbit (Dame Joan Collins), a beautiful showgirl caught in a love triangle with elderly architect Stanford White (Ray Milland) and eccentric young millionaire Harry K. Thaw (Farley Granger).

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“Based on a true story” - nobody believes a movie will closely follow the facts - life is often boring compared to the vivified antics of Hollywood big budget productions but this case is quite the opposite. Twentieth Century-Fox white washed (no pun intended) the murdered Stanford White as a true victim… in the story he’s overcome by beauty, falls in love with a chorus girl while his beloved wife is out of town, and then (riddled with guilt) attempts to break it off by sending her to a fancy boarding school.

In reality, Mr. White (allegedly) drugged and raped the 16 year-old Evelyn Nesbit. It was something he liked to do - use his money and influence to corner young girls. Why not just tell the story true if that’s the story… it was certainly going to draw a crowd… put butts in seats as they say. Why would they structure the film with such sympathy for White?

((Shrug))

The censors in the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) were to blame. As written, Stanford White was a victim through-and-through - his murder, Harry Thaw was unhinged and not responsible for his actions - Evelyn Nesbit is punished by having her name dragged through the mud. The movie ends with her needing to exploit her own disgrace by riding the titular red velvet swing, this time to a theater full of leering, jeering men… the image of which will stick with us for a good, long while.

Marylin Monroe had been picked to play Ms. Nesbit but refused the role (and was sanctioned for turning it down)… that feels like it makes sense, all things considered. Joan Collins, effecting a passible American accent does solid work in this break-out role but its also tinged by her own backstory… Collins and Nesbit shared some truly unfortunate circumstances…

Stanford White was 47, Evelyn Nesbit was 16 when she was allegedly given spiked alcohol and was raped / Maxwell Reed (Collins’ first husband) was 31, Joan was 17 when she reported Reed spiked her drink and she awoke on a sofa in the midst of things.

Nesbit, a “ruined woman” went on to marry the deranged Harry Thaw. Collins, married her abuser out of guilt and shame. Both husbands went on to exploit their wives for financial gain.

There’s a bitter irony that Collins was in the act of divorcing her husband when she took this role that paralleled her own lived experience… except the censorship code forced the changes that made the part one of enjoyed consent - the traumatic elements were sanitized and her part evolved (devolved?) into a naïve, wide-eyed soul.

((Blink-blink))

Look at all the learning that happened this morning. Guess we’ll just go shop the shelves and see if we can find something a little lighter for this afternoon.

What is Movie On for if not switching it up, right?

“Look!” Mrs. Lady Zedd yells, “some movie on - grab it, quick… before it gets away!”

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What do you guys like to watch on the long hot days of summer?

It’s the language they use: a better community than here? The sub I set up… for myself?

2026-254 / Zedd MAP: 81.26

Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection

Country of Origin: France / Canada / Belgium

In the dream, I was working some soul eating retail job - dusting endless shelves of product I could scarcely bring myself to look at. I hear the front door open and young, loud voices suddenly filled the stale afternoon air… nope, I can’t play this game today.

I make my presence known, not aggressively (exactly) but I interject myself into the young patrons’ space in such a way that they certainly betray their ill-intentions of fuckery by their sudden, downcast gaze.

Busted.

Well, pre-busted at any rate. I exchange smiles - fake and tinged with sarcasm - with the ringleader and ask if they needed any help I didn’t intend to offer… words can be so misleading. They opt to leave but not before flipping me the bird at the door and disappearing in an explosion of laughter. I assume this interaction is over.

I assume wrong.

Moments later, a man on the wrong side of middle-age comes bursting through the door. The resemblance to the ringleader of the teens is unmistakable but this gentleman isn’t having any of it… he approaches me directly and I’m thrown by the round, green shield on his arm with the words “DON’T CROSS THIS LINE” in inky black letters. Before I have a chance to say anything he crashes into me, making good use of his shield.

“We don’t have to do this, this way… “ I start to say, before he’s shoving into me again. “Well - then let’s do it right.”

Here’s the thing - I’m not (generally speaking) easily intimidated. I grew up hard and the only riches in my childhood were the golden gifts of poverty. It’s not a boast, it’s just the truth of things. People in those circumstances learn to hold onto their things, even when the only thing you have is your pride.

…just saying - I’m on this guy like a spider monkey and he’s got no clue how to fight somebody that understands the power of asymmetry. It’s not long until I’ve got him in a headlock and am cutting off his brain’s blood flow. I feel him fighting back but it’s slowing down quickly… I’m unsatisfied.

“I’m going to peel your face like an apple.” I whisper calmly. The little kiss on his ear (just a peck, really) might be considered a bit much but I wanted his mind to have that final thought as it slipped into the dark embrace of unconsciousness.

That’s how I broke my fitful slumber… with a start and a groan.

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From IMDb: It's 1941 but France is trapped in the nineteenth century, governed by steam and Napoleon V, where scientists vanish mysteriously. Avril, a teenage girl, goes in search of her missing scientist parents.

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Mrs. Lady Zedd: Dude… what was that about?

Zedd: ((Sighing)) Right? I woke up and instead of evaporating, the dream slipped into my waking mind.

It was 1:30 AM - getting back to sleep was hard going. Even as I finally slipped off, I got up this morning still thinking about it. That horrible dream set the mood - I went on to pick a suitably disturbing film to match it.

An alternative-history that sees all science stifled at the steam-age, the film tracks a world depleted and choked in sooty smog. A distinctly dystopian story that questions the use of humankind’s greatest invention: science! Is it a tool for understanding the universe and improving everyone’s life -or- a destructive, weapon-building endeavor to be used to crush our foes?

MLZ: It’s such a beautiful film, truly magically animated but the story is so bleak and gray. When one of the researchers quietly says, “Science has known sin.” It gave me goose bumps. I only saw bits and pieces but what I did see was heartbreaking.

That’s why only I MAP’ped this one today - MLZ was in and out of the room. “Work,” she alleges, “it’s what’s keeping us out of living in boxes in some back alley.” She’s brimming with blithe bleakness of her own there… either way (she seems to say) my choice. Roof and food or boxes and rubbish bin dives. ((Shrug)) “Your move, movie dude.”

…it’s just, I’m so fond of conditioned air.

The film lands on positive footing but it doesn’t come until the bitter end. To say more, would be to spoil it, so I’ll leave it here:

Beautiful film, bleak story, hard truths that feel possibly more relevant now than 2015, satisfying end.

What about that dream?? My goodness, what a strange story my subconscious wove together for me last night. Here’s my best guess…

The endless shelves that I dust but hardly look at - Reddit, it’s my Reddit feed that scrolls on forever but I hardly pay attention.

The nasty teens - Reddit admin and these sudden changes… influx of spam (I’ve removed more spam in the last few weeks than the previous 6 years). Just today Reddit suggested my 500 Movies post from yesterday would be better received elsewhere - they had it ready for me to post (not cross-post)… just hit the button.

Now that angry man with the shield… hmm, now that one really threw me for a loop until I reached for a dvd case and felt a spasm in my low back. I think the man in the dream was me. I’ve gotten a few warning twinges, here and there, I’ve been pushing it this week… I need to remember there’s lines my body can’t cross - even if my mind says “go, Go, GO!”

All things in time.

Nothing left to do but put that next movie… on.

2026-253 / Zedd MAP: 85.44 / MLZ MAP: 84.87 / Score Gap: 0.57

Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection

Country of Origin: United Kingdom

…the film watched, I click over to the special features and see a long list of movie trailers. While this particular one was at the top of the list, it was the half dozen or more that caught my eye. Kino Lorber can generally be trusted to let you know other films they’ve got on offer and I can generally be trusted to be interested in that. I see one we have - Cuba (1979), another Sean Connery flick of the same vintage as Train Robbery and I say, “That’s probably how we wound up with Cuba, shopping the trailers here.”

Then, to prepare myself for today’s write-up, I read the one MLZ committed to 500 Movies last year…

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From IMDb: Master thief Edward Pierce recruits an expert cracks-man and his cunning mistress to execute an impossible gold robbery on a moving Victorian train.

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You see - at this point, we may have written any particular movie up any number of particular times so it’s always a good plan to see what was writ before. In this case, she opened with the paragraph:

“We happened upon this film when purchasing something else and it was "suggested" - heck, this may be better than the film we were originally buying.”

You see how we’ve built up the stockpile… one good turn deserved a suggestion and from there ((shrug)) any other (more or less) random suggestion is welcome too. One becomes two becomes there… works for us and (we suspect) for a great number of you as well.

The film’s a great blend of comedy, scoundrel conniving, heist execution, and maybe a shapely leg or two… and that’s just Sean Connery’s bit. You throw in Donald Sutherland and Lesley-Ann Down and you’ve got a film well worth the price of admission. Mrs. Lady Zedd and I seemed to land right on top of each other, MAP-wise, and that’s always a good thing - we watched the same movie, as they say.

We’re just cresting the hill of the year - mid-point - it’s straight down the backside on our way to December 31st… I could be cliché and wonder how we’re already half way through 2026 but it’s been too odd a year to sit and consider too long. We’re just going to keep to ourselves and movie on - it’s the only way we know how.

Movie On, indeed.

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We’ve “banked” a few films so we took a couple day breather here at the end of June but we’re back for the final 248 films to hit the mark… 500 Movies by December 31st - man, feels good to put our shoulder to the wheel.

Ok, whose childhood did this just chime?

2026-252 / Zedd MAP: 93.44 / MLZ MAP: 95.68 / Score Gap: 2.24

Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection

Country of Origin: United States

From IMDb: In 1920s Soviet Russia, a fallen aristocrat, a priest and a con artist search for a treasure of jewels hidden inside one of twelve dining chairs, lost during the revolution.

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Setting this write-up to pages wasn’t as easy as I’m about to make it look. Initially, Mrs. Lady Zedd was large-and-in-charge and completely enthusiastic for Mel’s big day. I mean, I wasn’t not enthusiastic or anything but she had extra spring in her step. We discussed which film was “quintessentially” Mel Brook and I was 100% certain she’d burble out Spaceballs or maybe get her theater on with The Producers but - not for the first time - this woman I’ve been married to for all these decades surprised me - The Twelve Chairs she shoots out without hesitation. “It’s my favorite, well, of favorites - he’s done so many.” She qualifies her answer. “It’s an Odd Couple story, they find their true footing in the end.”

I like that but then ((shrug)) I like her so it all works out.

Instead of deep diving the film or discussing Mel Brooks’ long and cherished career (there’ll be plenty of that elsewhere), I thought instead - what was the world Mel Brooks was born into like? If I were there, in New York City, what would the headlines be - let’s face it June 1926 spawned a comedic storytelling genius but what was was his father - Max Kaminsky - distracting himself with while his mother - Katie Kaminsky (née Brookman) - was braving the perils of giving birth on the tenement’s kitchen table (?!?) there on Powell Street in Brooklyn… let’s take a look.

New York Times, June 28, 1926:

In politics: Democratic party leaders launched a massive push to demand that Governor Alfred E. Smith run for another term. Smith was highly popular, and Governor Smith himself was simultaneously trying to draft Franklin D. Roosevelt to run for the U.S. Senate.

Subway Tunnel Heist: In a bizarre local crime story, thieves successfully bored a tunnel through a new subway cut on 8th Avenue, broke into a cellar, and stole $1,500 from a local shop.

Anti-Prohibition Backlash: Religion and politics clashed as local pastors openly assailed U.S. Senator James W. Wadsworth Jr., urging the state to "throw him overboard" due to his wet (anti-Prohibition) stance.

Booming Rail Records: The New York Central Railroad dominated financial pages by reporting a record-breaking monthly net income of $6,395,188, marking the highest five-month gross in its history.

Aegean Earthquake: Major international headlines shocked readers with reports of a massive earthquake that razed communities across the Aegean Sea islands and parts of Greece.

…meanwhile, on Broadway:

The Ziegfeld Follies’ Rivalry: Florentz Ziegfeld had just launched his legendary summer revue, No Foolin (later renamed Ziegfeld's Revue de Noel), at the Globe Theatre. It was packed with chorus girls, lavish costumes, and high-energy jazz numbers.

Noël Coward’s Plays: British playwright Noël Coward was a dominant force on Broadway that year. While his scandalous drama This Was a Man was preparing for its run, other snappy comedies kept audiences laughing through the summer heat.

At the theater…

The Black Pirate: Audiences flocked to see Douglas Fairbanks Sr. swashbuckling in The Black Pirate, an absolute technical marvel of the era because it was one of the very first feature-length movies filmed entirely in early two-color Technicolor.

…spinning the radio dial (don’t look for NBC, it won’t be around until November!)

Hotel Jazz Orchestras: The most popular late-night programming on stations like WEAF and WJZ consisted of live remote broadcasts from upscale hotel ballrooms. New Yorkers tuned in to hear live jazz and dance music played by big bands directly from the Hotel Commodore or the Waldorf-Astoria.

The Eveready Hour: As one of radio's earliest premier variety shows, this program regularly broadcasted on Monday nights, featuring classical ensembles, short radio dramas, and storytelling.

While we’re at it…

Average household income: $2,310

Home Tube Radio: $35.00 to $75.00. A standard 5-tube tabletop receiver from a local New York distributor was a major purchase, though high-end luxury cabinet sets could run over $150.00.

Broadway Musical Ticket: $5.50. Getting a prime seat at a major production like the Ziegfeld Follies cost a premium, with ticket brokers charging a standard 50-cent upcharge.

Neighborhood Movie Ticket: $0.25. A ticket to see a silent film accompanied by a live theater organ at a neighborhood cinema.

…back home…

Gallon of Fresh Milk: $0.56

Dozen Eggs: $0.56

Loaf of Bread: $0.09

Pound of Porterhouse Steak: $0.29

Pound of Creamery Butter: $0.53

Pound of Coffee: $0.43

Gallon of Gasoline: $0.23

First-Class U.S. Postage Stamp: $0.02

A Brand New Automobile: $360.00. A basic, mass-produced Ford Model T straight off the assembly line.

$20.00 and $35.00 per month in rent.

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Ok - I’m sorry but seeing the rent and the cost of a car hurt more than I’d have guessed. Also… the price of a Broadway show ((wow)), yeah - I’m going to the movies 22 times for the price of 1 stage show! Dang… Movie On in 1926 and 2026 too!

2026-250 / Zedd MAP: 90.30 / MLZ MAP: 97.38 / Score Gap: 7.08

Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection

Country of Origin: United States

Computer, define: Hoedown

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From IMDb: In a future where humans have temporarily abandoned Earth, a trash-compacting robot falls in love with a flying droid and helps her on her quest to restore hope to mankind.

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There’s little chance I’d have called Captain McCrea’s Earth deep dive a “rabbit hole” back in 2008 (I didn’t have that verbiage, yet) but Capt. started with a computer-aided examination of some dirt and ((nods)) yeah, he was off to the races. I know a rabbit hole when I see one, I was certainly pushing Google searches and Wikipedia pages into my own deep dives back then.

((Looks around mischievously))

Hell - you go back another 20 years and dude, I was rocking the library… all of them. They say pride goeth before the fall but our hometown has the country library… that’s right - “The Big One” and I would quite happily lived there, just leave my a box of microfiche and a key to the bathroom.

MLZ: Dang, dude - you just “good old days” the central library.

Dang, dude - I guess I did… and it’s worse than that, I think I miss the place. I’m not feeling nostalgia so much as ((nervous smile)) gratitude? I’m (trying) to crack jokes but I’m a particulars hunter from way back and really the librarians taught me the skills and methods I still use today. They help a young Zedd learn how to gather and organize information.

Here’s part of what I love about writing films up here at 500 Movies - I started with a rough idea of how I was going to shape the write-up and ((pow)) it takes on a life of its own. Sheesh - I’m getting emotional. :]

MLZ: Maybe I should take over - Wall-E is one of my all time favorite films from a period of time children’s movies were experiencing a CGI-fueled renaissance. The film has a sweet love story, beautiful animation, and a good message about taking care of the planet.

Ok, I’ve regained my composure. I think our slightly larger than normal score gap is largely due to that ecological message. I have always stumbled with it more than MLZ and it feels more pressing with every passing year.

Hmm… it occurs to me when today’s MAPs expire (in 2028), the motion picture will be twenty years old.

I’ll just leave that terrifying thought here.

((Smile))

Movie on. :]

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2026-248 / Zedd MAP: 88.50 / MLZ MAP: 93.28 / Score Gap: 4.78

Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection

Country of Origin: United States

At the end of the film, our triumphant meet at the top of the ENCOM building, Kevin Flynn yells out, “Greetings program!” and the three soak it in. They’ve beaten their enemy, honor has been restored, freedom - blessed freedom - reigns in both domains… the human and the digital. The final few seconds land and the feeling is ((shrug)) melancholy?

The somber synth melody transitions us to the credits but does little to abate that hallow feeling in our stomachs. It’s supposed to inspire but instead it’s a strange fatigue.

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From IMDb: A computer hacker is abducted into a digital world and forced to participate in gladiatorial games where his only chance of escape is with the help of a heroic security program.

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Mrs. Lady Zedd: You mean Cindy Morgan was standing up there in that fuzzy pink sweater, with both Jeff Bridges and Bruce Boxleitner on her arms for eye candy and you were feeling sad? Me too.

Right? That don’t sound right (now) do it?

Bad grammar (or is it bad syntax?) - or is it both?? - I’m getting distracted… I tried to track down the “Anthem” that plays us out before the hand-off to Journey’s Only Solutions while the credits roll but the exact track was elusive. As tinker toy as that version is (early 80s synthesizers were very limited compared to now), I think you can still pick up on that solemn undercurrent.

Fuzzy pink sweaters notwithstanding.

The film deals with some heavy themes - a restrictive and utterly corrupt Master Control Program, backed by a wormy, vile executive who stole his way to the top. Whether human or computer program, everyone is just trying to get by but it’s increasingly difficult. Maybe that triumphant ending, when the day is won, and friends united - perhaps it is truly bittersweet because it was a string of struggles that never should have happened. Freedom was fought for but in that final few moments of the motion picture the cost was fully felt.

There’s been plenty of “never should have been” moments in human history, I know, but there’s what’s supposed to be right and there’s the way things are. Thinking on it too hard just ((sigh)) makes you kind of tired all over.

All things in time, I suppose - including next movies too.

Movie On.