Meme stolen from u/Arca-Knight.

I'm going to be streaming the Finale of the game next Saturday! I'd be delighted if people joined me, although I'll be writing an update afterwards all the same.

One small note about completion. I've been made aware several times that this game has different endings depending on your completion percentage, and I should probably be trying to maximise mine. The thing is (mainly due to crashes and various losses) I've skipped a fair few cutscenes at this point, and also have probably missed a bunch of other stuff too.

To that end, if the reward for completion IS INDEED a new ending, I'll watch it on YouTube after I've finished. I'd like to play the game in the way that feels natural to me for now, and can see whatever's hiding behind 100% later on.

FYI, as of writing:

- I'm at the very beginning of Chapter 4.

- I've got 23 hours and 25 minutes of playtime (although it's actually a little higher than this since I've crashed and lost progress a couple of times, and also pause the game to type these things if you wanna count that)

- My completion percentage is currently 47%, although I have checked out a few CommSpheres and recruited Tobli when I'm writing this (that happens later).

CHAPTER 4:

Shinra tells us that Lenne is the girl from the Songstress Dressphere, but we don't know much else right now. All we can do is our optional content, but we need to find Paine on the deck first. We hand her our new spheres, and Yuna says that the others didn't say anything (which, like, they DID but whatever lol).

OK OK more exposition. So the Crimson Squad was an elite fighting force from two years ago. Nooj, Gippal and Baralai were all candidates and Paine was their recorder. They were supposed to be assigned Crusader leadership roles, but an accident happened and most candidates were killed.

"The four of us were separated. Things happened"

Ominous.

So she became a sphere hunter to find answers. It's still vague what exactly she wants to know. What does she mean by "an accident"?

Should've mentioned it last time, but it's really interesting how the 3 (or 4 I guess) of them are so connected to each other, and they were actually just straight up friends with each other. It seems like I was half right about Nooj. He WAS evil, but also that wasn't really him, so...

These games always keeping me on my toes lmao

By the way I was joking last time Shinra is an S-tier character. I don't know why but he just makes me smile.

We're gonna do a big song and dance to connect the world. Okay.

___

Why do some games hide some of the sweetest lines of dialogue behind optional encounters? Paine tells us that she sang the Hymn of the Fayth when we fought Sin. Even though she was alone at the time, she felt connected with the world.

MOONFLOW (TOBLI):

I've made an observation about this game. I think it gets a bit of a bad rap for being much lighter in tone and less serious than its predecessor, but I don't think that's an issue. At least, that's not THE issue. I think it's.... an interesting... choice... to follow up a huge lore-dump and climactic sequence that establishes the stakes of the game with whatever this sequence is. There's an argument to be made that this maybe leads to a bit of tonal whiplash.

I'm always wary to criticise tone and pacing of an unfinished product (or rather, something I haven't seen the entirety of), since I don't know what's waiting around the corner. Maybe the production we're in the process of putting together will lead directly to the next important story beat.

Regardless of ANY of that, though, it IS very annoying that I have to chase Tobli's dumb ass around the Moonflow. Like holy shit guys I know about the rule of threes but this joke has been going on for 10 minutes now please stop.

For some reason we choose the Thunder Plains as our venue for the event, which, like... really? I feel like we're forgetting one crucial detail about this place lmao. Either way, I'm sure Tobli and his crew will take care of the minutiae.

There are more CommSpheres to check out. I didn't write about the first wave of spheres since there wasn't all that much to say, but we do get something interesting about Beclem this time. He apparently knew Chappu and wanted to talk to Wakka about him but doesn't fancy it anymore.

Let's see here... Dona misses Barthello, Rin tells us the Highroad has been strange as of late and asks for our help. I check literally every camera and nothing out of order so fuck me I guess. Elma's having trouble reaching the concert with her Chocobo. Some Hypellos invite the Leblanc Goon Squad (TM) to the big show, and WE invite Kimahri but he pulls out some "my heart will always be with you" bullshit to get out of it lmao. Finally Garik, Tobli and a stray Cactuar take a soak in the Gagazet hot springs.

I suppose now's as good a time as any to talk about it. Hypellos weird me out man. There are a few different dialects in Spira, but they're so... realistic? They remind me very much of Jar Jar Binks and not in a nice way lmao. They also remind me of Oompa Loompas, but in the third-class-citizen way, you know? I always feel a bit bad for them. I feel like they don't have rights.

Cool accents though.

After all that, we're finally ready for:

THUNDER PLAINS

It's concert time. I think I adequately voiced my... concerns?... about this section going in. It's a bit strange following up the end of Chapter 3 (which was really climactic and lore-heavy) with what promises to be a moment of levity and joy. Basically, I'm wondering what relevance this event could have to justify its own existence.

Before the event can begin, we need to kill a fiend that's burrowed under the venue. Shouldn't be a problem, I'll just-

*sounds of violent death*

This thing killed me, no joke, 4 times in a row. The battle was intense. I was rotating between chipping away at its health with basic attacks, healing with potions and switching Dresspheres. It had Null Magic (despite a weakness to Ice), meaning Yuna was completely out of the game. It had the ability to one-shot 2 of our 3 since its damage was so high. To top it off, the autosave refused to kick in ahead of the fight, meaning I'd have to trudge on through the dungeon after each attempt.

After a long, violent slog, we managed to take it out!

And then the game crashed.

Yeah I just turned on cheats for the runback I was NOT about to do all of that shit again lmao.

CONCERT:

Yuna begins with a speech about unity, harkening back to the war from 1,000 years ago and trying to instill some togetherness in the restless crowd. And then we're taken to a pre-rendered cutscene, so you KNOW this is gonna be important.

Before I get more analytical, I do just wanna begin by saying that the scene is phenomenal. It's incredibly well-sung and animated, and is quite emotional, too. I couldn't pay too much attention to the lyrics (more on that in a moment) but it's amazing all around.

As she sings, though, visions of what I think is Dream Zanarkand engulf the crowd, soaring by as she sings. Pyreflies swarm to the sky, opening a giant rift up above which flares with the image of Vegnagun. I THINK the idea is that all of this is supposed to be seen by the crowd? It's unclear which parts are symbolism and which are diegetic.

Yuna transforms into Lenne, and Shuyin is there too. We're basically watching a scene from the past - both of them are shot by soldiers, holding each other.

Seems the reason this concert is being held in the Thunder Plains is to facilitate the imagery of the clouds parting and allowing the sun to shine down below, which is beautiful. Again, the scene itself is phenomenal and I understand the hype. I'm not sure I put that across well on stream, though. In fact my first words as the scene came to a close were "can I start talking?" which, yeah, read the room idiot lmao

So Maechen confirms my suspicions: Shuyin and Lenne were an item back 1,000 years ago, however they were torn apart and... killed? I'm hesitant to say killed since there's no blood in the scene where they got shot, but that's probably just censorship if nothing else, or that the scene is a representation of what happened rather than an actual recording.

Also confirmed is that Lenne was both a performer (being behind the Songstress Dressphere) AND a summoner like Yuna. I'm told that there's no particular reason for the resemblance between Yuna and Lenne, so whatever. Shuyin seems to be vengeful now, although how he has the ABILITY to be vengeful after getting slimed out by the entire Bevellian military is beyond me.

Also Shinra gives some BS explanation about how the waves from the Dressphere and the sphere screen reacted with each other and uhhhh yeah my exact words were "fuck it yeah, why not, we can roll with that". It doesn't really matter that much.

Interestingly, Maechen tells us that the name of Lenne's lover was lost to history. Was it not Shuyin? Maybe his name is really Tidus. Why? Literally no idea, but would be a crazy snipe from me if it is. So he tried to steal Vegnagun to save Lenne.

And that, as they say, is that.

MORE BULLSHIT:

Shinra tells us that Leblanc wants to see us in the Engine Room. Naturally, as someone familiar with JRPGs and their ways, I AVOID the obvious path to progress and talk to everyone in the bridge to see what they're thinking. Paine, then Rikku, then Brother, then Buddy, then Shinra. When I speak to Shinra, a cutscene plays, and I'll talk about that in a moment. But first, I'd like to present an extract from a gameFAQs post about Crimson Sphere 5:

"After the concert on Chapter 4, do NOT talk to Shinra. Go to the engine room and talk to Leblanc. She'll give it to you."

Like why the fuck do you hate me game? I want to like you SO bad but this shit is plain esoteric.

Anyways, one reload later (thank you u/GenghisVaughn, you're my goat fr) and we talk to Leblanc to get the sphere.

OK, back to Shinra. Gippal and Nooj are still in the Farplane, and the former's managed to fix the CommSphere we dropped down there earlier. Nooj says he has a plan to deal with Vegnagun, which I'm sure we'll hear all about later when we go down there to join him.

And so, we resolve to jump down one of the holes and talk to Shuyin to see what he wants and if we can relay Lenne's message to him. Which means-

CHAPTER 4 COMPLETE!

Wait, what?! That was it?! I mean, not "That was it?!", it's not like I'm disappointed, Chapter 4 was really good. It was just incredibly short. Short enough to be finished in only a couple of hours. It was mainly just staring at CommSpheres. Well, either way, that means that we're in the final chapter now.

OK, here's what's left:

- A BUNCH of hotspots.

- The Crimson Spheres mission, which I'm told is a very long dungeon in Bevelle.

- The final mission (jumping down the hole).

As I said, I'll be streaming the final mission, but I'll be doing all of the hotspots on my own, while writing updates. Speaking of which, let's do a couple of them now to round things off!

LUCA:

My very first priority is rematching Shinra in Luca. I frankly don't give much of a fuck about the Dressphere, this is about regaining my honour.

It's a brutal match of Sphere Break and I'm really not cut out for it, given I'm still using the starter coins. I get close, but, once again, fumble my arithmetic at the last moment. If this was the first match I would've won handily, though! I decide to cut the kid a break and come back later on.

I also TRY to give Blitzball another shot but swiftly back out of it. I'm not ready to do that again.

BESAID:

ugly ahh baby

OK no but for real this was actually a really nice section. Lulu (still rocking that corset lmao) has finally had her baby, and she's left the naming to Wakka, who can't decide. I was embarrassingly confident that they'd call him Chappu because it just seemed so simple and "right there", but I'm glad I was wrong. We get the confirmation that the sphere of Wakka's parents never existed, and that Chappu wanted Wakka to stop acting like a surrogate father and start acting like a brother. After seeing this scene my confidence shot up to 110%.

"Vidina"

Honestly, good. Chappu would be too easy. I'm glad.

ugly ahh baby tho

Meme stolen from u/YoMikeeHey

I'm finishing Chapter 3 today, and giving my best theory on what's happened so far. But first, some more optional stuff to knock out, and something that I genuinely can't BELIEVE is optional.

CALM LANDS:

There are some people trapped in the cave, although this isn't a hotspot, so...

Fine.

It's a decently fun mission. At first I thought we'd have to plan in advance and keep track of all of the different victims, but we can make return trips so there's not much need to optimise. One of them also gives me a "Besaid Key". I wonder what that's about.

When we unlock the teleporter to the Chamber, we literally just get jumped by YOJIMBO? Where the fuck did THIS come from? I never saw it, but is this Dark Yojimbo? I mean he looks really different, but then again so did Bahamut, so this is probably something else entirely. If I remember correctly, Yojimbo actually spoke in X, but he doesn't seem to wanna speak with Yuna when she asks him what the hell's happening.

He has a lot of health, but isn't dealing a ton of damage. Kozuka only targets MP, while Wakizashi and Daigoro deal around 200 damage. I just hope he doesn't----

ZANMATO

OK so we're on 1HP and 1MP each now lmao. I'm not gonna lose to this greedy fucker, so I'm pulling out the Elixir. I meant to use it on Yuna but she died before receiving it so it went to Rikku. Suddenly, he uses Zanmato again. Rikku dies immediately on her next turn from the poison, and Wakizashi and Daigoro finish the other 2, wiping us out. Great. Thanks for the FUCKING warning game!!!!

OK this fight is bullshit purely because he actually combos you. Zanmato being (afaik) an unblockable 1HP/1MP reset which he can immediately follow up with poison and quick attacks is the type of shit I wish I COULD do.

What's far worse is that my last save is from 20 minutes ago, meaning I'm relying on my autosave.

I'm gonna skip the details here, because I really couldn't alter my strategy or anything. I just kept bashing my head against the wall until I managed to scrape away at his health. After I do it, though, we're just.... kicked out??????? What the FUCK game, there were 2 other people in there?????

This game has REALLY tested my patience with its lack of communication on things like this. Well fine, those two can fucking die I guess, Gullwings don't have time for that shit.

Oh look a new Garment Grid. "Tetra Ma"-

oh my god bruh

Don't remind me.

MI-IHEN HIGHROAD:

OK, FINALLY the last stop before we visit the hotspots.

Seems straightforward

...

OK done it let's move on.

I'm serious I do NOT WANT TO DO any more side content it's fun* but I'm ready for story now thanks.

BESAID ISLAND:

Time to tackle these hotspots. First up, Besaid.

Beclem (former Crusader) wants to torch the temple, Wakka doesn't, conflict ensues. Hey, what's this guy in the side room talking about? Some hidden treasure in the cave by the ruins? Locked chest in the next room?

I unlock the chest (I think with the Besaid Key I got from the mission in the Calm Lands) and receive a Search Sphere.

Not even 10 minutes in and we're already doing side content lmao.

I monitor frequencies on the island to find what looks like a small CommSphere, then use it and find a small number 3 hiding atop the temple. This is a really involved mission, I like it quite a lot though.

The next one's a 0, and then what's either a 1 or a 7. OK no the NEXT one's a 7. So it seems the code is 3017. We go through the ruins, get taken to a sort of plateau overlooking the waterfall where a chest waits for us on the far side, giving us a new Garment Grid. Raging Giant. I probably will not use this.

Wakka's been beat lmao, I really though he still had it. We take the lift down and there's Valefor. Which surprised me for a moment, then immediately made complete sense. She went down VERY easily, by the way.

I'm sensing a trend here. Are we going to fight all of the previous Aeons? We've already knocked off Valefor, Bahamut and Yojimbo.

LUCA:

Spoke to Dona, reunited her with Barthello kinda, plundered the temple and fought Ifrit. Not much to say to be honest.

BEVELLE:

Gippal's here...? Why? I thought he was neutral to all of this.

THEY'RE ALL HERE? Gippal, Nooj and Baralai.

...

OK, so THEY'RE the members of the Crimson Squad who escaped. Or, trainees? Nooj and Baralai are at the very least, but it seems like Gippal might be the third.

HOW IS ALL OF THIS OPTIONAL?

Nooj betrayed Baralai and Gippal "shooting them in the back". What's more, Nooj intended to use Vegnagun and destroy it.

"You were easy targets. You, and Paine"

HUHHHH

He's glowing, pyreflies swarming his body. Is Nooj possessed by something? "He was too weak to resist me". What the fuck is HAPPENING MY GOD!

So there's some entity that can possess bodies, first with Nooj two years ago, and then Baralai just now?

"You wanna know?"

"Yeah but forcing you to tell isn't any better so we'll wait until you're ready" mannnn shut the fuck up Yuna lmaoooo I wanna hear.

OK so that's finished. Here's my understanding of what's happened so far.

Gippal, Nooj, Baralai and Paine were all on or training to be on the Crimson Squad 2 years ago. Nooj was possessed by something that's now moved on to possessing Baralai and shot the others because of it. Somehow, 3 of the 4 of them ended up leading the most important factions in the world. I also don't quite know what the Crimson Squad actually is, and, most importantly, was that actually Ormi and Logos in the sphere? Because why on EARTH would they be in charge or working for the person in charge of something like that?

I got the Ribbon while I was here, which took FUCKING ages oh my LORD. I don't even know what I did or how I did it but after a long slog and many repetitions of the same fight I managed to grab it.

What I'm interested in now is what's gonna happen at Djose? Are we just not gonna see Gippal there? Because if we do then surely the story has to acknowledge what we just saw, despite it being optional.

DJOSE TEMPLE:

OK, he's not here but the game acknowledges what we just saw by asking whether he's still with Baralai.

Blah blah blah, one more push through the Cloister and a (very easy) fight against another Aeon and we return to the sh-

OH.

Nevermind. Yuna fell down the hole. She wakes up in a very familiar place. My memory fails me, though. I remember seeing this, but don't remember where it is. Yuna's outfit changed, though, and when she comes too she sees Tidus.

"It's me, Shuyin"

HUH???

And he thinks Yuna is "Lenne". I've DEFINITELY heard that name before, but I don't remember where. I don't think I've included it in any of my previous posts, but maybe I missed it?

"We disappeared together, but when I woke up, you weren't there"

"While I wandered, I realised something. Spira hasn't really changed at all"

"A thousand years have passed, and they can't leave their hatred behind"

"I'm through with waiting. I'll fix it."

Sounds like main villain talk...

"This world continues to fail us, and what's worse, I failed to protect you."

"Vegnagun will make that all go away. And we'll fade again. Together."

Is this the thing that's possessed Baralai? I can't imagine this is actually Tidus, and maybe my other theory was wrong. Maybe it's some sort of demon that takes the shape of your loved ones??? That wouldn't explain how he was on the sphere, though.

Suddenly Nooj and Gippal are here and OH Tidus just transformed into Baralai. All 3 of them are here with us, although I'm not entirely sure where here is. The pyreflies are still surrounding Baralai's body, who tells us that the end is not far now, before creating some sort of void portal and entering it, leaving us.

They both give us a crimson sphere each, before telling us everything's under control and leaving.

...they're so cool...

CHAPTER 3 COMPLETE

The end of Chapter 3 is by FAR the most interesting scene in the game so far. Yuna falls into a hole, meets fake Tidus who's called "Shuyin", who thinks she's someone called Lenne, then begins evaporating before Nooj interrupts, at which point Shuyin turns into Baralai who enters a portal and leaves, before Nooj and Gippal follow him into it, giving us two more crimson spheres.

Like actually what the fuck lmao

THEORIES:

OK, if I HAD to try to put it all together:

- I don't think Shuyin is actually Tidus, or even really looks like him. Maybe he transforms into whatever his target loves the most, and then takes over their mind. He's from 1,000 years ago, and his goal is to use Vegnagun to destroy Spira.

- Vegnagun is itself a weapon that was created during the war between Yevon and Zanarkand, but ultimately went unused.

- Lenne is someone Shuyin cared for but failed to protect - maybe killed by Yevon in the war? - and now wants revenge on the world. Presumably she looked like Yuna? Leblanc kinda shapeshifted into her at the beginning of the game so that could be what she looks like. The resemblance is uncanny though - maybe she was one of Yuna's ancestors?

- Another theory is what I previously believed - that Shuyin is the real version of Tidus from the real Zanarkand who's been revived somehow. The reason I'm not so confident in this is that this guy is clearly a villain lol.

- Paine, Gippal, Nooj and Baralai are all old war buddies, who were torn apart when Nooj was possessed by what I'm gonna assume was Shuyin and shot the other three. That's basically confirmed at this point.

- I don't know how or why the Aeons have returned and are fighting us now, but I expect that'll be answered in due course.

I decided which Final Fantasy game I'm playing next. In fact, I just bought it on Steam today (as of writing)!

CHAPTER 3 BEGIN!

OK, first things first, I wanna make sure I don't miss out on this Crimson Sphere business. I've heard it's fairly important.

I just recently remembered that weird Sphere we saw (I think at Leblanc's place) and how it might relate to Paine. The dialogue was:

"Let's see. Total survivors of the final Crimson Squad selection exercise: zero, zilch, and zip all. Job done."

"There should be 3 more candidates and their recorder."

"Three plus one makes how many?"

"Four still live"

This is Ormi and Logos talking, who answer to Leblanc, who answers to Nooj. If Paine is related somehow to this Crimson Squad, it would explain her connection to Nooj. I guess she's the first person to escape, since there were then a further three.

Anyways, with the Crimson Spheres still in mind, I want to check that out to make sure I don't miss anything. I think it's more important that I actually see this than find it organically and risk missing some stuff out, so I'm making the executive decision to (CAREFULLY) consult a guide on this one. I hope we're OK with this, because I don't care either way.

For reference, I'm using the table found on this IGN guide: https://www.ign.com/wikis/final-fantasy-x-2/Den_of_Woe

Let's see....

Sphere 1 should be found in the Bevelle Underground where I just defeated Bahamut. Sure, I guess I can head over there now. Reading ahead a bit, I've already received Sphere 7 and hopefully Spheres 10 and 9, since they were in previous parts of the game. I should receive 2 and 3 at the end of Chapter 3, and I'm not reading about 5, 6 or 8 since I can see they all mention Chapter 4 or 5, meaning they risk spoiling me.

I'm gonna try to keep it brief and interesting:

- Bevelle doesn't seem to welcome us. They see us as Youth League sympathizers. We're blocked from entering the palace grounds, so not much to be done. I'm hoping I haven't already missed my chance to grab it...

- Guadosalam: Ironically, we're pretty chummy with them now. The goons guarding the Chateau welcome us, although Leblanc herself is utterly inconsolable after Nooj's disappearance. We're let through to the underground area. We get Logos' and Ormi's spheres, revealing that Nooj was present when we were under Bevelle, although that's not what we're here for. There's another sphere sat on the drawer. It's of Tidus! Was I right? They're talking about war with Zanarkand, suggesting this is from the war with Bevelle way back when.

Wait... the original Tidus was a dream, but doesn't that mean that there could have been a real Tidus from way back when, too? Like from the real Zanarkand?

While we're watching, the GOAT Maechen sneaks in and tells us that it can't really be him, since that sphere was recorded 1000 years ago. So then, that means that Fake Tidus isn't actually fake, but... real. In fact, he's realer than the one we knew lmao. Surely after 1,000 years he's dead though, right? Unless there's some more magic BS going on.

Maechen's here. He tells us of a rumour going round that Yuna was accompanied by a guardian from Zanarkand, and that Maechen could always sense that he belonged to another world. He says he had something very important on the top of his tongue but forgot lmao. Something prompted by us saying the dream of the fayth.

"There may yet be a way to reunite with those who are gone".

And then he leaves. Was all of this really optional? This place wasn't a hotspot. Anyways, we get the crimson sphere and head back to the airship.

LUCA:

- Yo Shelinda's here? And Rin is too! There's some sort of tournament here, called Sphere Break...

...

- ...Ok, so like, are ALL of these games terrible at tutorials?? This seems way more fun than Blitzball to me, though. I push through the walls upon walls of information and play my first game. I win pretty handily! It makes sense to me, and I like numbers so it's all good. I beat a 2-star and a 3-star opponent. I'm feeling pretty confident - it's time to face my ultimate adversary. The final opponent...

dog.

We win, surpassing our quota of 40 in only 9 turns. I don't know if that's impressive or not, but I just stacked Echo Bonuses each turn. After we finish our three games, we find Rikku slumped over on the floor with her signature posture. She's been trounced by Sheldo- I mean, Shinra, making him our final opponent.

He's a 4-star opponent, and we have 15 turns to reach a quote of 50. Shouldn't be a problem.

It's intense, but SOMEHOW I manage to fumble the victory at the finish line. I miscalculate and end up selecting undesirable coins, netting Shinra his reward. I could've had it MAN.

"I'm just a kid"

If my latest save wasn't like an hour and a half ago I would ABSOLUTELY reload for the runback but, alas, I'll have to accept my defeat with grace.

Shinra is officially on the shitlist with Brother, though.

Sphere Breaker is a really fun game. As a huge mathematician the quick mental math(s) is right up my alley, and I like the strategic element, too.

Djose: Gippal, despite being suave as ever, doesn't seem to want our services. Looks like there's more going on here, but we don't pry.

Moonflow: "Yuna, run. Don't ask, just run. Run now. Run fast."

MACALANIA FOREST:

There are some fiends attacking the agency! Shouldn't be a problem.

This fight is frankly completely fucking ridiculous and I have NO IDEA who signed off on this shit. It's pretty simple. Get through 6 waves of enemies or die trying. There's just one problem. RHYOS. Thing thing deals insane damage, is seemingly immune to physical attacks and a few elements, deals damage in every element and, most importantly, can act like 3 times every fucking second. Some of the battles here are really easy, just against some Ice Slimes, but anything involving Rhyos instantly becomes a slog.

After several tries, I manage to slog through until the 3rd battle and flee. For some BAFFLING reason, the devs decided NOT to provide a save point, instead throwing me into fiend-infested waters immediately after escaping.

After what is by FAR the hardest I've ever tried in this game and a 20 minute slog, I manage to get through all 6 battles. It's so confusing to me, because why on earth would you make 6 battles where 2 of them randomly contain a single enemy that's markedly more difficult than every boss fight so far? Either way, we get a new Garment Grid AND a new Dressphere so cool I guess.

OK Berserker is HILARIOUS lmao. Rikku doing what looks like Capoeira and Paine channeling her inner Sonic the Hedgehog to spindash over to the enemy and deal like 80 damage is great, and the outifts are.... ambitious.

The Guado are spread throughout the Woods, and they seem to have no desire to return to "tomorrow's Spira". They seme genuinely remorseful for Seymour's actions, which is... nice? I mean, it's not THEIR fault, and I don't believe they should take the blame for his actions... The Ronso in particular seem to loathe them, which... yeah.

OK THEORY: When we end up having to fight whatever it is we end up fighting, the Guado will help us to save the world somehow, redeeming their place in society.

Bayra (one of the weird animal band guys) is also here and they tell us that "An unseen, quiet destruction slowly descends upon us..." and refuses to elaborate further.

THUNDER PLAINS:

There's some sort of minigame dedicated to fixing the towers here. The first one is really easy, a very simple QTE. They get a bit more advanced as you progress, and they're mainly difficult because it's so damn hard to see lmao. The buttons are really small, and are black against a dark backdrop.

More interestingly, Cid is just... randomly out here sulking in the rain. Rikku's pretty annoyed with him, saying he's upset because of Zanarkand.

I'll come back to him later. I've got some towers to calibrate!...

...

...ok damn this is actually really hard lol. To be honest I'd be more inclined to give it the time of day if it didn't take 30 fucking actions lmao, that's a bit excessive.

After a good few tries I manage to take down tower 5. These trials are actually ridiculous by the way, there are so many factors that make them difficult and I can't even tell which of them (if any) are intentional. Number 7 ESPECIALLY is a huge pain in the ass, and I haven't even ATTEMPTED 8 and 9 yet, so I just know they're gonna be horrendous.

10 attempts later and I'm starting to think this 7th trial is impossible. I can't get past the 25th, it's WAY too harsh with reaction times!

After (genuinely) half an hour of trying and retrying, I eventually manage to get 30 hits with 2 misses, calibrating the tower. Probably the most locked in I've been since I graduated university.

GOD I miss Chocobo Racing...

I beat both towers 8 and 9 on my first try lmao.

Having now beaten all 9 towers, I triumphantly return to the agency to claim my prize.

Nothing.

There is no prize.

Is there another tower? There's NO way that I did all of that for nothing, right?

I take a walk around the plains to try to find my prize, and COMPLETELY RANDOMLY I'm sucked into a brand new calibration.

Which brings me to TOWER TEN.

UGGHHHH

This one genuinely HAS to be impossible, there is NO WAY ANYONE CAN DO THIS! Memorising SIX inputs and then performing them backwards in a manner of seconds!?

I tried. I tried SO hard. Again and again until my eyes glazed over and my fingers begged for mercy. My controller accidentally hit the escape key on my keyb-

wait.

I just paused the game. I tried doing it with the start button on my controller but to no avail. But the ESC key brings up a different menu.

WHY didn't I think of this sooner????

After, no joke, an HOUR of trying this goddamn tower I finally change my strategy and trial the brave new plan:

cheating.

Once I get to the 5-input stage I pause the game, write down the inputs on a sheet of paper and then read them backwards. Fun fact, by the way - I STILL FAILED the first time I tried this. This shit is STUPIDLY hard.

Finally, though, I manage to persevere. I've FINALLY DEFEATED all 10 towers...

..where's my reward bruh. I DID IT.

I head back to the guy in the agency, ready to beat his lazy ass, but he hands me a prize! A new Garment Grid - Samurai's Honor.

...is that it?

I spent HOURS on this shit.

For a Garment Grid?

Are we being serious?

I feel so unfulfilled right now holy shit.

While I generally make a very strong point to avoid looking things up, I'm NOT coming back here again, so I make sure I'm not missing anything. Apparently we're gonna return here later for more rewards, but that's not very satisfying...

MT. GAGAZET:

As soon as arrive, Kimahri tells us to kick rocks, in not so many words. Garik has decided to take even FURTHER revenge on the Guado, as if they're not already down. While I wanna understand him, I'd also reason that it was only really Seymour and a few of his accomplices who are at fault.

One short climb up the mountain later and look where we are! This is where we fought Seymour for the.... third... time? I think? I remember this being my very first death in the game. More than one person thought I was cheating, lying or not actually playing blind until this point. I even got a VERY drunk DM from a nice(?) redditor accusing me of such LMAO.

(he deleted the message in the morning)

Eventually we find Garik nearer to the top, and Yuna straight up pulls a gun on him and tells him to stop fucking around lmao.

Also, "someone's a few spheres short of a Garment Grid" is a great way to call someone an idiot lmao.

Our first try against the Ronso is a disaster. They inflict ailments (ugggghhhh) and then wear us down, so I put on some armour that negates that stuff. Something that I've noticed is that some enemies just... don't take any physical damage? That's a REALLY weird decision, right? Like there are some entire dresspheres that are basically ONLY physical damage, so rendering them completely useless kinda annoys me. It's the same way that skills like Demi just sometimes not working at all is a bit dull.

This fight ends up being really boring. For some bizarre reason the devs decided to make the boss that drains all of your MP immune to skills that don't cost MP. Yuna is the only Black Mage I have developed enough to use Absorb MP, so I'm just cycling between the party and letting Yuna act.

10 minutes later, we defeat Garik and he kinda just backs down. "Alright I know I'm not built for this lmao". I'm surprised it's resolved so easily - I was kinda expecting him to lose and just go to battle anyways, sort of as a contrast to Biran and Yenke from X. But fine, whatever. He hasn't changed his mind much, anyways, since he says he'll get stronger first and then destroy the Guado. We haven't defeated him ideologically, really, just proved to him that he's, as I said, not built for this.

ZANARKAND:

We're gonna use the monkeys to clear the place out, apparently. I'd kinda assumed our goal here would be to solve the monkey problem, but furthering it actually makes more sense lmao. It's kind of devious but it fits I think.

• Terran - Forlorn
• Maxx - Gil
• Peke - Disdain
• Arroh - Sullen
• Thyne - Queasy
• Autumn - Lovelorn
• Quivrr - Heart to break
• Sylva - Can't keep living like this
• Luna - Stares Coldly
• Winter - extremely grumpy
• Dusky - Gil
• Summer - Unfulfilled
• Sequoia - Fuming
• Valli - Up to no good
• Golde - Ready to rant
• Spring - Testy
• Rosemary - Gil
• Canis - Wants something
• Sol - Hates tourists
• Minni - Drools lecherously
• Dawn - Looks sleepy
• Skye - Dazing off into the distance

OK, now that I've established that.... how... do I do this?

Initially I think that I'm supposed to match each monkey's description, but it turns out to be simpler than that. It's in the names! The only way I can POSSIBLY get through this in reasonable time is speeding the game up a bit. There are no encounters, so I'm not missing anything. Just expediting the process.

OK I actually kinda love this minigame lmao. It's like a load of tiny riddles and it's so satisfying figuring out which is which, although I can see how it'd be annoying if you don't have them written down.

After a short while, we pair up all of the monkeys and turn Zanarkand into a natural haven. We ALSO get the Soul of Thamasa, which increases the power of spells but doubles their MP costs. So I equip it on Yuna, my resident Black Mage (as is tradition), and also give her the Gold Bracer to give her 60% more MP.

Now I'm finally ready to tackle the actual story of Chapter 3!

(it's from the Thunder Plains Calibration challenge in FFX-2)

(WHICH I HATE)

Just my stupid idea, but:

- Refers to the sun setting on the festival, which is when we see Susie and Noelle's scene, as well as when the fountain is opened.

- References Sunset of Seven Suns, the main dark world theme.

- Suns rising and setting are a big part of the aesthetic.

- Refers to the sun setting on the narrative, with the happy daytime ending so to speak.

(Image: spot the Yuna)

A bit shorter today because I wanted to stop at the end of Chapter 2 to keep things neat.

Yuna rides a chain the same way Tidus once did, that's a pretty cool reference. There's a huge... ring... thing, where we interact with some towers to reveal platforms taking us to the depths below. I get the platforms out by the 5th tower, but get through the 6th for fun which doesn't seem to do anything. There IS a random chest containing 4 Ethers in the next room, which MIGHT have appeared based on me interacting with all of the towers, or it might have been a freebie. Who knows.

After some exploring, I get this absolutely RIDICULOUS camera angle (see attached) after solving a puzzle. When I finally find Yuna (or the 7 pixels that represent her form), I see the chest and grab a new Garment Grid!

"Downtrodder" seems completely ridiculous, giving DOUBLE HP for only 3 Dresspheres. I immediately give it to Paine and equip it with Warrior, Gunner and White Mage.

The whole Garment Grid thing is quite weird to me. I love the system, but isn't it a bit strange that you can switch Dresspheres and instantly act again? I feel like if there was a delay it'd make the whole bonus system a bit more thoughtful, since you'd have to weigh up sacrificing your act to switch for a buff against acting now to attack or defend. Although maybe I'm misunderstanding it.

Baralai is waiting for us in the depths below. Just realised this guy looks like Temu Wakka. Predictably, he tells us that Nooj can't be trusted (true) and that he'll take care of Vegnagun (false). Paine rushes into battle against him without even consulting us, and Baralai calls her out by name....?

Anyways, we fight and I immediately scan him. 1, he looks weak as shit and 2, the description seems to be taking his side. Says something along the lines of "his actions are decidedly suspicious, but he seems to have good intentions". Well if his dumbass would just explain why no-one can touch Vegnagun then maybe we wouldn't be fighting now would we?

OK he's actually got hands though wtf. He has some pretty nasty moves, but more importantly, he acts crazy quick and has a move that just straight up zeroes out MP, as well as a bunch of status ailments. Also no shade to his voice actor but god DAMN this guy has some terrible voice lines lmao. He has this REALLY fucking annoying scream that goes like "haaAAAAa" and it's really off-putting.

Anyone who followed my IX playthrough knows I'm not at ALL a fan of bosses who inflict ailments that prevent your actions, and this is a pretty good example. As I type this, Rikku is knocked out and Yuna and Paine are both frozen. Meaning I can do fuck all but watch them die.

\"I'VE BEEN FROZEN. FOR 30 MINUTES!\"

And so I sit. Listening to his dumb-ass scream again and again while he chips away at Paine's health bar, unable to move. After (no joke) 10 minutes of waiting and being stunlocked, we finally reach the main menu again.

I try again and put him flat on his ass in like 1 minute lmao.

Paine charges ahead for some reason. This must mean something to her, although I couldn't possibly say what. Somehow, she has ties to Nooj, Vegnagun and now maybe Baralai? Is she an unsent? I feel like that'd be too predictable, though. Maybe her and fake-Tidus are the same kind of thing?

We enter a large room flanked by planks of metal adorned with blue runes, and bathed in an ominous red light. It's enormous, and it looks like there's a spot to stand on in the middle. I also notice the swarm of pyreflies dancing as we enter.

https://preview.redd.it/8pl69imkzshh1.png?width=2560&format=png&auto=webp&s=0235400e5ce13a8161bc238fcc655929dde25c53

OH BOY is that my guyyyy

he doesn't look very friendly

uhhh don't make me fight him please.

OH GOD

We don't even get a heal from last time, Rikku is STILL dead on the floor and we're all low health with like half MP. Either this is a scripted loss or I'm about to get folded.

The music is melancholy though, which, yeah. We're kinda forcing Yuna to blow up her dead pet. And the best one, too. She tried to reach out to him to reason with him, but Paine snaps her out of it and says they have no choice.

After a while, we defeat Bahamut and he (or it?) dissolves into pyreflies. Maybe this is just the game giving me a break after Baralai, but why was he so weak? That didn't feel triumphant at all. It felt like putting down a pet. Yuna drops to her knees before Leblanc rushes in and we make the discovery that Vegnagun isn't here. There's a deep chasm below our feet that seems to have been made recently. Did it burrow out?

AH FUCK I FORGOT TO GET THE TREASURE FUUUUCK I WAS SPECIFICALLY TOLD FUUUUUCK

END OF CHAPTER 2

All at once, we get a distress signal from the Celsius, where we're told that fiends have begun pouring out of every temple on Spira.

Hilariously, helping in need isn't enough for Yuna, so Rikku suggests they charge people for it. I guess she isn't feeling charitable today. Feels sliiiightly out of character for her to only help people with money (that's the implication at least) but I understand the need to make it interesting from a gameplay standpoint. It's still funny though.

Equally fascinating is that both Nooj and Baralai have gone missing at the same time.

OK, before we move on any further, I want to do a quick checkpoint to sum up my thoughts so far.

GAMEPLAY:

The game's really developed throughout chapter 2, specifically with getting more Garment Grids, Dresspheres and abilities. Most of the enemies I've scanned so far haven't actually been that special - seems like having actual elemental affinities is reserved for the fodder rather than the fights where strategizing might actually be useful. Still, I love the idea of switching between dresspheres during battle and the various bonuses you get for doing so.

As I mentioned before, though, the system slightly eludes me since surely you can just switch between all of them at once and get the bonuses immediately?

Either way, I AM enjoying the gameplay quite a lot. I don't feel extraordinarily strong or anything, but I can see how I would become so in the future.

I think if there are two things that don't seem as emphasised in the gameplay loop yet, it's items and armour. I did do a quick check of my equipment before running it back against Baralai, but there wasn't much useful there. For instance, there isn't much an armour piece can do that DOUBLING MY MAX HP using the Garment Grid can't, and Hi-Potions are rather rare. Basically, I've just gotta wait until I find more stuff.

STORY:

Things are starting to heat up here, too. I THINK we've introduced all of the key players in the story now. We've got a few different factions:

- The Gullwings: Yuna, Rikku, Paine and the others.

- New Yevon: Baralai and co.

- Youth League: Nooj and co.

- Machine Faction: Nipple (Gippal) and co.

- Leblanc Syndicate: Leblanc and co.

I think that's everyone. Various characters from FFX align themselves with one of the above organisations. There are other, smaller groups (like the other sphere hunter orgs we met in Zanarkand) but I don't see any of them being too relevant to the overall mystery.

Here are my biggest questions, then:

1. Fake Tidus - what, where, who, how and why is he? Theory: he's a faker, although he doesn't seem to have malicious intentions. Then again, he's had all of like 20 seconds of screen time so what the fuck do I know?
2. Vegnagun. I didn't initially take it to have a mind of its own, or a conscience. Theory: it's some sort of really ancient weapon that no one ever saw before??? idfk man, I could see it being an unused weapon in the war between Bevelle and Zanarkand, hence why it's underneath Bevelle.
3. Why was Bahamut in the underground area? I thought we basically set the Aeons free? Perhaps more generally, what's causing the Eternal Calm to become undone? Theory: the rediscovery of ancient weapon Vegnagun has reawakened some sort of power. Maybe it's related to the old war between Bevelle and Zanarkand
4. What's Paine's deal? How is she so well connected to basically every faction in the game (Gippal, Nooj, Baralai)? And what's behind the crimson sphere door? Theory: uhhhhh I guess we can say she's unsent or something but like... I don't really believe that at all lol. I feel like I don't have the pieces for this one yet.

That's a lot of stuff! As I say, the story IS developing nicely, although we're getting far more questions than answers. It still seems too early to judge whether I like the game or not, but I'm having fun.

If this is annoying just block me I guess, if nobody wants to read this I'll stop lmao. Let me know if this is something people wanna read.

Some people wanted me to keep them updated on my thoughts after my last post on here (https://www.reddit.com/r/Bioshock/comments/1vdljpp/the\_way\_my\_jaw\_just\_fucking\_dropped/ ) so here. Some more detailed thoughts on the next part.

WELCOME CENTER:

- A telegram from a person called Lutece - are they the ones sending us here? They just tell us to be careful.

- (I'm writing this after the fact, but I went back to check and the Telegram SPECIFICALLY tells us NOT to pick #77. I missed this the first time - have we been set up? Was it a coincidence that we got the winning ball? Did the lady handing them out see the mark on our hands and give it to us?)

- When we enter the gates after hacking the robot, a lady and gentleman tell us to flip a coin? They sound like the people who rowed us here, and they're subtitled the same (A Lady and A Gentleman) although that might just be how every NPC is labelled in this game. Either way, we flip wrong, making us the 13th (unlucky number) Heads in a row.

And then they just... leave.

What?

- We have Plasmids again! They're called Vigors here for some reason, but they're equally as commercialized. Can't wait to see what fucked up stuff they're gonna let ordinary citizens do this time.

- There's some sort of raffle? I assume it's for some special plasmid. They hand us a marked baseball and-

- OH. MY. FUCKING. HELL.

- It actually takes me a minute to process just what I'm seeing. First I spot the monkeys, then the weird caricature, then the black woman (subtitled "bride") and I try to chuck that shit at the announcer without even thinking twice.

- And, wait? 1912??? I realised everything seemed a bit more retro than in the previous games, but...

IS THIS A PREQUEL???

- Because B1 was in the latter half of the 20th century, right? How the HELL does this happen before? I would've never guessed this game would take place before the others.

- My first question, strangely enough, is how did they make taking plasmids MORE painful and violent later on? It was a simple drink in the bottle and then they made a comically large rusty needle?

- OK, current theory - we're still tripping balls lmao. None of this makes sense right now, and maybe we got drugged before (or maybe on?) the ride up here, and we're still sat in the seat in the lighthouse. I don't know why, but yeah that's the working theory.

- The announcer was that Fink guy, right? Is he responsible for the plasmids? Or Vigors, I mean? Maybe they've refined the formula since the fall of Rapture.

- We're fighting now! There's no wrench this time, though. Or Drill. Just a... like a... spinny... thingy? What IS that?? We also get a pistol after bashing a few enemies, and fight a ginormous Big Daddy, which gives us the fire grenade plasmid. Maybe I should stop calling them plasmids. Ah well.

- That's the end of that section. It's a nice change walking into a "utopia" and being the cause of carnage instead of witnessing its effects after the fact.

ROOFTOPS:

- There was an incident where the "Chinese Boxers" took some American Hostages and Columbia "saved the day", to which Washington responded telling Comstock to stand down. There's also mention of a Warden Watts in the newspaper clipping shown.

- OK I haven't mentioned it yet but like... why is this place called Columbia? That's an actual country, no? In the lighthouse at the beginning of the game I saw a corkboard showing trips to and from Columbia and assumed they meant the South American country, but...

- As if in response to my question, a Kinetoscope says that America came to "recall" her finest city(?), and Comstock made it "disappear into the clouds".

- Oh, it's the Lady and Gentleman again! They seem so above it all, almost as if they're not human. Booker asks why they're following him, which is what I wanna know.

- Inside a house, there's a couple who seem to be on our side, since they let us walk out free without attacking us. They have a poster pinned up on the wall "Columbia Friends of the _____ Society". Nice to see we aren't all crazy. I wonder if they'd be more hostile if I'd thrown the baseball at the couple earlier.

- I assume the Vox are some sort of resistance force against Columbia (operating from within, presumably). The little audio log things are called Voxophones, I wonder if that's related?

- There's a painting of John Wilkes Booth moments before the assassination, where Lincoln is portrayed with devil's horns and Booth is basked in a holy light. The messaging is quite clear on this one lmao.

- A room of people in suspicious pointed hoods... Order of the Raven.... "protecting our race" alright you gotta die lmao

- "Comstock Phrenological Society".... ugh.

Behind a bookshelf is a filthy jail cell, stained in blood and swarmed by flies. So like... were they kidnapping and experimenting on ethnics here?

The next door creaks open. Behind it, a Chinese Prisoner is mauled to death by a swarm of crows. What. The. Fuck. We defeat him and get a new Plasmid.

Holy shit I JUST made a post about this game like an hour ago, about how beautiful everything was and how impressed I was and then I get THIS sucker punch god DAMN.

Here's the first post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Bioshock/comments/1vdk95n/an_hour_into_infinite_for_the_first_time_and_damn/

Anyways I don't wanna flood the sub but the fucking whiplash was way too much

I made a post on here yesterday about starting the game and basically asking for out of context spoilers (see here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Bioshock/comments/1vcuftm/about_to_play_this_game_for_the_first_time_any/ ), and I've played a small bit since then.

I get the sense this game is quite controversial on here but god DAMN is it beautiful, and such a bold step from 2. Has one hell of an opening, too.

I finished 1 and 2 last year and loved them both, but didn't really know where they could go from here...

So now we're in the SKY?

While I'm here, a few thoughts:

- The main menu was really cool (like the one before you start the game), kinda reminded me of Persona with how dynamic and fluid it was.

- The protagonist TALKS this time?? He has a weird name for sure, but he seems interesting (and kinda morally ambiguous). Apparently he's looking for someone called Elizabeth, who no doubt has had something terrible happen to her.

- "Father Comstock" seems like a very similar figure to Andrew Ryan. Actually, a lot of this game seems to harken back to the previous two. I really wonder how it's gonna differentiate itself.

- I don't know what the hell was up with that lighthouse at the beginning. I thought it was just the entrance to Rapture, but apparently not. My personal theory is that we're just tripping balls the whole time here.

- I have no idea what's actually gonna happen in this game, but we're obviously gonna tear through whatever's happening here and end up killing the (probably evil) Father Comstock and all of his ministers. I don't think we'll see this Elizabeth until nearer to the end, nor will we see whoever happened to send us up here. I'm also sure there'll be some huge reveal about who Booker is, but like, I feel like we've exhausted every twist about the main character that we could have at this point lmao

I've already played Bioshock 1 and 2, and am going to start this one today! I'm completely blind on this game.

We begin on the ship, in search of three uniforms to sneak into Leblanc's base. To get ahead of it, this post is gonna begin from here, and end with us being in her base, so if that's not interesting to you then idk maybe sit this one out.

After some MORE time running around the ship trying to figure out what the hell to do, I realise that the game wants me to basically just go find some uniforms lmao. Before I do that, I decide it might be worth doing some side-content. That Tobli... thing... mentioned some sort of show, right? I'm gonna go do that then lol

MOONFLOW:

I think this place has been left completely untouched since we were last here two years ago. Still serene as ever, with maybe a few more tourists dotted around. And a little... guy... thingy...? Tobli. He's here. He basically asks me to sell some tickets, which I do.

It's basically just price gouging as many people as possible, although not a pair of pensioners walking down the riverbank for some reason. Why not? They definitely own property, look how old they are. We could easily charge them 2,000....

I manage to get a very respectable 7 sales, which Rikku doesn't seem very pleased with but whatever. And then... we just don't get to watch the actual show lmao. No idea what it even IS, since nobody else seems to know. Is it a dance? A song? A circus? I've no idea, but there are Hypellos involved I guess. While I'm here, a walk around couldn't hurt. Guadosalam (the place we need to be) claims to have a difficulty of 4 stars, meaning we may want to get a bit stronger before proceeding.

As a reward for helping him, Tobli gives us the Gun Mage sphere, which seems to be this game's take on the Blue Mage (as seen with Kimahri and Quina). 1, that's a cool name and design, and 2, it gives me Scan! I finally have a way of actually figuring out enemy weaknesses and planning accordingly, instead of making blind guesses. I decide to give it to Rikku.

DJOSE HIGHROAD:

I take a short walk around, and unknowingly end up on the Djose Highroad, where I randomly find a new sphere on the ground. Cool???? Was I supposed to keep an eye out for these along the way?

(I didn't yet know this was all a scripted story segment, and genuinely thought everything in the next few minutes was completely missable lmao)

"Floral Fallal"

I can't equip this in the menu. The game tells me that I need to use every . Additionally, I get a new Garment Grid which only has 2 slots and no perks.

I quickly realise the benefit in the next battle.

(ok i actually realised the benefit instantly im not stupid but this is more dramatic)

It's some more fodder, but oh MAN do they get fodderised lmao. I switch Yuna from White Mage to Black Mage, and then immediately get the option to switch to a NEW dressphere. "Floral Fallal".

OH she's an Aeon now OK I guess.

This is an incredibly busted form for her. We have REALLY high health, get three turns and have plenty of attacking moves as well as defense. Additionally, there's no upfront cost to using the form. The only catch is that it doesn't seem Lulu and Rikku get any EXP for battle's won by Floral Fallal, which makes it less than ideal for more important battles. Or any battles, really. I still haven't checked if there's a way to exit the form mid-battle.

I wonder if the other two have their own forms?

Strangely, as we're walking along the Highroad a cutscene plays. It's a few fem-goons in uniform - they're looking for a missing sphere somewhere around...

(OK imma be real I'm writing all of this after the fact by watching the VOD and apparently THIS is when we find Floral Fallal and not earlier. Usually I'd rewrite but this uhhhh I don't wanna so pretend I got it now)

Anyways we have to fight Ormi and Logos again, which is only slightly difficult. We end up in one of those horrible death-revive loops for a while but we pick ourselves up and knock the enemies down in no time. Despite there CLEARLY being two enemies, we only take one uniform back....

I hope that's not a sign of things to come....

MT. GAGAZET

On the Celsius, we decide to head back over to Guadosalam to figure out where to go next, and some NPCs indicate that we'd best head over to the mountain. There was definitely some sort of mission that Kimahri gave us a long time ago, but I have no idea what the fuck that was now lmao.

I'll spare you the details on this one, there are some soldiers bathing near the top of the mountain, and we have to fight Ormi to steal their uniforms from them. We take out Ormi first, and then we defeat the soldiers (who are pathetically weak).

This time there are ACTUALLY TWO uniforms sat right there, but we only take one lmao.

We DO get to walk around the mountain's base speaking to the Ronso a bit, and they all seem VERY upset with the Guado. They really want to take revenge on them, which is understandable, I suppose. What's slightly concerning is that these guys have already been pummelled into the fucking ground. They've been displaced and, as far as I can tell, scattered across the globe. I haven't met a single one!

Oh by the way apparently 1 gil is supposed to be 1 yen, meaning 200 gil makes a pound (GBP).

YOUTH LEAGUE:

We head back over to the Highroad, this time to walk along the other end, where the Youth League are. As we're out exploring, we bump into Yaibal from Eternal Calm (or from earlier in the game), and he's apparently announced our joining of the YL. Which isn't happening.

Someone in chat points out that I need to talk to Clasko as much as possible, but it seems like that's something for later. We get escorted by a few soldiers who are genuinely useless as fuck lmao they don't even help us during battles. There are a bunch of Ochu littered along the path, and I do NOT have pleasant memories of those assholes.

We also manage to run into a fucking Tonberry, which is simultaneously hilarious and terrifying. It's the kind of thing that's adorable, but I would NOT wanna see it crawling towards my bed at 3AM. I'm slightly horrified to learn the damn thing has 9,999 health and even MORE horrified to learn how little EXP it grants me after I spend like 10 minutes whittling its health down despite my lack of MP.

After a while of walking, we finally make it to the Youth League HQ, where we meet a recruit called Elma and a commander named Lucil. I'm sure they'll be important later when they learn Nooj is evil as hell and join us to take a stand against him when he fights us.

Maroda is also here. Also. Verklempt.

We can't enter the main tent because Nooj is in there holding a meeting, so we leave and head towards some kind of hidden area. After some fumbling and fighting against the camera we maneuver over to the weird crimson gate from earlier where-oooooh this evil-ass mfer (his design is so damn cool though, my god)

So it turns out he's interested in this strange door, too, and is in possession of one of the spheres needed to open it.

What I DIDN'T expect is that he agrees to hand the mission over to us, and leaves after giving a strange, knowing glance to Paine.

I've been told that there's some more lore to be found with these spheres, even though they're optional and maybe quite hidden? I'll definitely be seeking them out, although I might need a guide and/or chat's help on finding them.

Damn we're dropping respect points with Paine here what the fuck guys this is a serious situation, 47?

The others try to pry into her past, but she's very cagey about it. What ARE you hiding?

OH FUCK, 46?!

After another game crash, we head back to Guadosalam to find our next location, which just so happens to be Bikanel. I'm not even gonna subheading this one because it's so unremarkable, we kinda just go there, beat some goons up, fight some fatter/taller goons and then dip with a new uniform.

CHATEAU LEBLANC

With ALL of that out of the way (and our three uniforms finally attained), we can at last head over to Guadosalam to retrieve the sphere we lost. It's slightly strange seeing this place be so... stripped of meaning? It's been reduced to a base for these stupid fuckers from the place of grandeur and monument it once was.

That kinda feels like a recurring theme here - Zanarkand was desecrated and the game specifically called it out. A significantly more cynical view would be that it applies to the game in its entirety, as a product - jury's still out on that one, though. I'd like to think there's more to offer here than simply gawking at the reanimated husk of a beloved game like some would lead you to believe, but I suppose I'll have to wait and see how the story develops.

Probably a strange time to bring this up, but while we're on the topic of reanimation (and the game's value as a whole), it's gonna be REALLY hard to bring me on side if the truth of the situation is actually that Tidus has been resurrected somehow, or that he didn't disappear in the first place. I'm still firmly hoping this is some other situation, and we aren't just bringing him back for the sake of it. I'm sure they could make some explanation for his return that technically works within the narrative and established lore, but that would kinda ruin the ending of X for me, unless it's done very strategically.

Anyways, we see Nooj leave the palace with his sick-ass cool design, and Ormi and Logos tell us to... use our talents... to help her... unwind.

I glance over to chat:

"I love this mission"

"Most uncomfortable part of the game coming up"

"our "talents""

"Don't worry it's exactly as bad as you think"

Unfortunately, I manage to correctly predict what's about to happen.

Yeah there was absolutely NO WAY I was gonna be caught on camera doing this shit, so I ended the stream there and took a few days off.

(A few days later)

UGGHHHHH DO I HAVE

TO???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

okay fine

soitsaminigamewhereweneedtogiveLeblancamassageandweneedtochoosetherightspotsandadjustbasedonherreactionsandIfailitthefirsttimebutImanagethesecondtimeand despite the

WEIRD AS HELL

premiseit'sactuallyaprettystandardkindofminigameanywaysyeahthat'sit

Gimmick aside, I realise that the spots only reset after you get a "perfect spot", so you can just keep repeating the one that gives 3.... things.... and that's more than enough.

We learn that Leblanc is fucking obsessed with Nooj actually, and that she only became a sphere hunter for his sake, right before she doses off to sleep. Yuna is shocked by her own skills as a Masseuse. Is that gonna be the next Dressphere?

Pearl from One Piece walks in with his friend, and they both tell us to make sure the switch panel is working. We head over there, uncover a secret panel and Rikku pulls a Zidane-in-that-one-part-of-Ipsen's-Castle by kicking the door open and falling in. I think that's what happened at least, I kinda don't remember.

LEBLANC HQ

OK actually I just went back and read my post from back then he rested his back on it and fell through.

WHATEVER.

Paine gets too in character, gets flustered and then insists we get changed. After that, Brother's DUMB, GOOFY ASS gets us caught by Ormi, which leads into a battle against him (and the respectable Dr. Goon and Fem-Goon) where they get absolutely curb-stomped.

Generally speaking, the enemies in this little dungeon place are really easy. They all go down in a few shots. At this point, the strongest spell we collectively have is Thundaga. I was surprised to have unlocked it so early, although maybe that's a sign that I'm sticking to one job too much?

If it ain't broke...

Progressing through, we find... what... seems to be... Leblanc's bedroom? I'd assumed she'd just Israel'd Seymour's bed (is that too edgy?) but it seems she's converted it into a makeshift massage parlor.

There's a sphere on the bedside drawer.

"Final Crimson Squad

There should be three more candidates and their recorder

It's a fuzzy image, as is customary at this point, but there's mention of a Final Crimson Squad and there being three "missing candidates" (and their recorders). It also seemed like there was a third man present (besides dumb and dumber) who was probably Nooj? Not to belabour the point or anything, but he's probably the most obviously evil character I've ever seen and I'm kinda stunned that we're still acting like he's ambiguous lmao.

Anyone who followed me through my FFIX playthrough will know that I despised those fuckass clowns Zorn and Thorn with a passion. Ormi and Logos seem like a similar case, although I don't hate them nearly as much. They're kinda your run-of-the-mill grunt stereotype, but they don't have any stupid text gimmick or annoying design.

There's an admittedly really cool sequence where a giant wall of golden spikes emerges from the wall, forcing an Indiana Jones-esque chase sequence, revealing a secret switch behind the wall.

Something I've routinely taken note of in my head regarding this game is the number of random encounters (and how there are perhaps too many of them) but every time I think to write it down I'm faced with a decently long stretch of no encounters, leading me to reconsider and wonder if it's all in my head.

I think the main problem is wandering around trying to figure out where to go while being hounded by random enemies, although that's problem with every random encounters game, not just this one. Although there is something uniquely annoying about this one, I just can't put my finger on it...

Once again, I find myself completely lost. I've found Security Overrides 2 and 3, but can't see 1 ANYWHERE. I've checked the hallway with the spikes, both of the accessible rooms and pushed up against every wall I can find. My only lead is a mysterious passageway up above, but I can't spot any way to get up there. What's worse is that in order to get places I've got to deal with 100 fem-goons.

I'm not at all proud to admit I had to consult a guide here, and the solution is genuine bullshit. You need to LET YOURSELF GET "KILLED" by the wall of spikes, which will reveal a new hidden area required for progression.

I take back all of the nice things I said about this part before, this is terrible design in my opinion. It'd be a cute little quirk if this was for hidden treasure, but you can't make me enter a FAIL STATE to progress, especially when it's a very treasure-hunt-coded section in the treasure-hunt game. This annoyed me a lot to be honest, and I have NO idea how anyone would've figured this out without the internet back in the day because it completely defies all logic.

Having now overridden the security, we enter a new room with an ominous glowing hologram in the middle. It turns out Leblanc had already found the other half of the broken sphere and had planned on returning it to "Noojie-Woojie". Before they can even register what's happening, though, they're already knocked on the floor.

Through a fierce combination of Firagas, Blizzagas and Excaliburs, we dispatch of them easily.

The sphere is of the colossus, Vegnagun, and it seems to have been taken underneath Bevelle. New Yevon has been concealing it all along, and Leblanc seems to be under the impression that Nooj wants to dismantle it, which.... yeah, no. His ass is gonna use it as a weapon. Interestingly, Yuna doesn't seem completely resolved to defend Spira this time round, seeming a lot more hesitant.

BEVELLE:

And so Leblanc invites herself on to the ship. Before we can even catch out breath, she whisks us off to Bevelle. Yuna tries to convince the others it's because she wants to hunt for more spheres or whatever but it's plainly obvious she just wants to save Spira lol.

The plan is apparently to kidnap the New Yevon Praetor, Paralai. A few curious things here. One, that guy is 100% bad news himself, and two, Paine tells us "he's stronger than he looks" which.... how the HELL would YOU know that...? Who ARE you???

After Leblanc and co. ditch us, we start a new mission - take the lift down into the centre of Bevelle and check out Vegnagun... OK this seems WAY too early to be doing this kinda thing lmao.

We push through some of the soldiers, and some of them ignore them but my dumbass decides to bother them and they literally say they were gonna look the other way but they're throwing hands now lmao

When I enter the palace grounds, the first thing I hear is a soldier asking where the Praetor's gone... is he not here? Either Leblanc somehow already got to him and these guys already heard about it, or someone else got to him first.

After a short, weird puzzle we take the lift down to the lower reaches where- OH. FUCK. OFFFF.

it's the bevelle cloister of trials lmao

That was my initial reaction to seeing these strange cyber pathways again, but I'm HOPING I don't need to do it again, because last time I got through on sheer fucking dumb luck in like 5 minutes.

By the way, Leblanc's Heady Perfume completely negates the need to exercise ANY MP restraint in regular battles, since I can equip it to whoever's low and run a few laps without worry. I suppose I shouldn't be afraid to use Ethers and Elixirs if I'm in a pinch in the future.

Also I take it back it's actually really cool walking on these strange, ethereal tiles without the gimmick we used last game. Feels like an out-of-bounds glitch made canon lol.

When we make it through, we get to the most comically obvious pre-boss-fight room I've ever seen, down to the Hypello walking up and stationing himself in front of the save point to sell me shit lmao.

In the chamber of the fayth, there's a deep, rocky cavern whose mouth pulsates with an ominous orange glow. I don't remember which Aeon we got here, though. Was it Bahamut? We jump down, now accompanied by Leblanc, Logos and Ormi.

The camera's intentionally obscuring whatever lies below/in front of us, but I can tell it's something huge. How the hell could they have ever hidden something this fuck-you-big?

Well I guess I'll find out next time.

Just minding my own damn business, cruising along the trial with a great Hephaestus build and then Chaos, the slimy bastard, sticks me with the shitty Artemis keepsake in the home stretch in the summit.

FFS.

I never rage but genuinely fuck this game for this one LMAO, like half an hour down the drain cos I've got 30HP to beat a TITAN

The worst part is my build was made for dealing single blows of really high damage with Hephaestus' blasts so the crit bonus is fucking useless too

This is a much shorter update. It's been a really long time since I uploaded (or even played), and I thought I'd end relatively close to the ending of Chapter 1 to keep things a bit neater. Hopefully future updates will be a fair bit longer.

None of this was streamed on the channel (https://www.youtube.com/@mania-jd3my) on which we'll be streaming later this week.

We're back on the ship after looting the temple in... uh... Zanarkand! Right, yeah, Zanarkand! It's been so long lmao

We find our half of a sphere and board the ship once more. As soon as we do, though, an alarm starts blaring and Buddy tells us of an "awesome sphere" in Kilika Woods.

As much as I fucking loathe the guy, Brother's voice actor is putting up numbers here lmao.

And so our next stop is Kilika! I'm glad we've already explored here, since I wanna know if anything's gonna change. If I remember correctly, we ran into Dona and Barthello here.

The game claims we're at 17% completion right now. I've heard the completion percentage is a bit... finnicky... in this game, so I'm not sure what that says about our progress through the story. It does very much feel like an opening right now, though.

When we land, we're met with a curious little guy named Tobli, who tells us something about a "show" that's being hosted on the banks of the Moonflow. Sounds fun, I guess.

As a refresher (for myself, mostly), this place was rebuilt by the Youth League a while back, so it seems that its people feel indebted to them. Dona's signed up with them, while Barthello's pledged his allegiance to New Yevon.

Anyways we're told that "Meyvn Nooj's briefing will begin shortly" and that "Interested league members should proceed immediately to the woods".

Now what the hell is a Meyvn Nooj supposed to be lmao. That sounds familiar... is Meyvn, like, a title or something? Sounds Yevon-y, but this place seems like more of a hub for the Youth League.

(It's been like a month since I last played so you'll have to forgive my oblivion.)

Dona's here, too, it looks like! At the front of the crowd, and accompanied by... either daunting or triumphant music, is Nooj - the Meyvn of the Youth League. I assume that's their version of a leader? Since they say "the" Meyvn and not "a" Meyvn I assume he's THE guy in charge. And it seems that way because....

DAMN that's a badass character design lmao. The hair, the glasses, the fur-coat, the... belts?

He and the many belts adorning his body give a rousing speech about this sphere that New Yevon is trying to keep hidden. It works on the crowd, but I'm not convinced by his dedication to finding the truth... I feel like he's scheming something fierce.

Our three tumbleweeds decide they wanna steal the sphere for themselves, and we're sent into a new mission. I guess we're up against the Youth League AND New Yevon's soldiers...? Like a free-for-all sphere hunt.

Before I push onwards though, as is customary in JRPGs, I decide to take the side path where a couple of soldiers are debating whether the password was "Squatter Monkeys" or "Squirter Monkeys". Eugh.

I'm assuming it's the former, since there was that NPC in the village telling me to keep an eye out for Squatter Monkeys.

The enemies here are quite strong - I kinda regret immediately rushing into this mission. I also need to get more comfortable switching between Dresspheres during battle.

After grinding through what I would consider to be FAR too many random encounters, we reach a small clearing in the woods, where the game tells us we hear some kind of noise, and asks us if we're going to investigate, which, of course we are.

Peaking through the cracks, we watch the commander tell a soldier that... oh... maybe it's cheating if I write this down.

Ah fuck it I would've done this anyways lmao

If the number of guards is odd, then the password is Carved Monkey, and (after watching some more) if the number of guards is even, then the password is Craven Monkey. Funnily enough, returning there afterwards finds us a Squatter Monkey.

So, wait, is the password NOT Squatter Monkey, then?

Well, we reach the bridge and there are 3 guards sooo... Carved Monkey it is-

what.

"Haha! Gotcha! You're not getting through here!"

There's no fucking way I just got baited holy shit. What do you mean it's wrong???? Did they seriously put on that performance knowing we were watching? Was it ACTUALLY Squatter Monkey after all???

(it wasn't)

Whatever, I torch/freeze/zap the shit out of these soldiers and move on to the next wave. They, too, ask me for the password, to which I respond Squatter Monkeys aaaand they fight me too.

The next time, there are 4 of them. So, trusting my notes once more, I use the password and it works! They even give me an Ether for my troubles. Maybe I just miscounted the first time.

Next, there are three soldiers, and one more comes after I give them the password. Except it isn't ACTUALLY one more, there's another sneaky fucker waiting in the back, meaning I give the wrong password and have to put them down lmao.

YSLS-ZERO

At the top, Dona is confronting some of the soldiers when a huge guardian appears. The screen shakes something fierce, and we enter anot- WHY is it so small LMAOO. This thing was the size of a building a few seconds ago.

This thing is INCREDIBLY annoying to fight. For a good few minutes at the beginning, we're stuck in a loop of reviving and catching blows. After some struggling, we manage to get up again, only for Rikku and Paine to get downed, leaving Yuna alone.

As a desperate last stand, I pour the last of her remaining MP into a final Blizzara, dealing....!

0 damage.

ok ig its ether time lol

I switch her over to Gunner and she manages to pick up Paine (who's in Warrior right now, giving her the most health). Then, I revive Rikku and switch her over to Black Mage. From there, I use Sentinel on Paine whenever I can and spam Thundara until it's down.

That was a surprisingly difficult fight, though!

The game gives me a chance to save after we board the Gullwings' ship, which tells me that we're now at the end of Chapter 1!....

END OF CHAPTER 1!

...damn, that took a long time lmao. We're not THAT far into the actual game (the game says 8 hours for some reason, I KNOW it's been a lot longer than that), but in terms of real-time it's taken a long time to get here. I guess I should give my thoughts on the game so far.

THOUGHTS SO FAR:

I still feel like I'm firmly within the beginning of the game, but I'm definitely enjoying it so far. I can tell it lacks the grandeur and scale of actual mainline Final Fantasy (the kind of ambition IX and X strove for) but not everything needs to be so climactic. I'm down for a fun side-adventure in the same world.

I'd expected the characters seem like slight caricatures of themselves in some ways (think how Persona characters are treated in spinoff titles, if that means anything to you), but I think that's not really the case. Of course, only two of them are actual mainstays here, so it's not much of a sample, but Rikku at least seems really faithful.

Yuna, on the other hand... I'm not quite sure what to make of her at this point? I guess it's great that she's finally free to do whatever she pleases, although THIS isn't quite where I'd imagined that freedom would lead. It's been pointed out to me that her outfit takes some heavy inspiration from Tidus. I wonder if we're going to acknowledge that at any point - if it's just a nod and a callback, or if it's actually hinting at some unresolved feelings and grief, a refusal to move on.

There isn't much to say about Paine. I generally enjoy the archetype of the "I'm so fucking done with these guys (but actually I'm kinda corny too)" character, and there's clearly a lot more to learn about her, which will be exciting to see. For now, I appreciate her presence and the way she balances the dynamic.

There are lots of other characters being introduced, and if I wasn't actively writing their names and affiliations down as I go along, I likely would've forgotten most of them already. Jury's still out on them, of course, but I wonder if the game can really handle so many different factions and players without any of them feeling tertiary or unimportant.

Finally, the gameplay. It's a lot faster than the last ATB game I played - the (apparently notoriously) slower FFIX. I love the Dressphere switching mechanic and I do appreciate how each character is free to be whatever they choose with no disincentivisation. While I still vastly prefer the battle system in FFX (which has one of my favourite battle systems in ANY JRPG I've played), I really like it here! I'm hoping there are more avenues for strategy later on, since it's really hard to capitalise on enemy weaknesses so far.

Overall, the game's a lot of fun and I can't wait to see where it goes. It feels far too early to make any judgements on story or characters, but everything seems fun and casual so far. The gameplay seems great, and I'm hoping it gets deeper as we go on. I'd say the gameplay is firmly halfway between IX and X for me right now.

On to Chapter 2!

"Whenever Rikku and Brother agree, bad stuff happens"

Truly, dumb and dumber. They're both running around the cockpit like headless chickens, chanting about how popular they're going to be. More importantly, though, Paine seems very.... disquiet about the future. She seems to think that we "went too far with this one". I assume they're all talking about us crossing swords with the Youth League?

It's time to see what this "amazing sphere" we've just gotten our hands on is about. Shinra tells us that it's just a regular movie sphere.

He is VASTLY underselling its contents.

We see a (gorgeous 3D-rendered) cutscene of not-Tidus in front of what looks like a colossal steel mammoth with giant tusks, while a voice (I can't tell if it's his or someone off camera) says "I'm relying on you to save Lenne", or something to that effect. Then the scene is bathed in a crimson light and the video ends.

OK yeah I can imagine why New Yevon wanted this one lmao. So it looks like we're uncovering a new religious conspiracy. Brother immediately decides we should just return the sphere, while Buddy suggests we donate it for research.

After some deliberating, the suggestion is made that.... erm. Yuna should dance to relieve the tension.

....

Now I'm hearing jovial music (the one that seems to sample the sounds of cows and monkeys?????) and I'm assuming we're getting a minigame now. Bruh.

Well, fuck it, why not.

As we leave the room, Brother mentions some "hitchhikers" he picked up on the way here. Is it gonna be those weird lil guys we saw in Kilika talking about a show on the shores of the Moonflow? We should probably go there soon if the game lets us.

Anyways, after TWENTY MINUTES of wandering around the Celsius, I finally figure out that I need to talk to one specific NPC, then slide the trio of musicians into the elevator. I think the game can be a bit obtuse when it comes to directions sometimes, although that might be me being kinda stupid as well.

We're then treated to a HILARIOUS cutscene of an out-of-tune Yuna singing "lalalalalalalalalalalala" while Rikku pulls an idol animation in the background, all on top of a giant fucking airship. I THOUGHT there'd be a minigame a la Yakuza 5 (or like any rhythm game I guess) but nope. I'm fine with that, I think.

What makes it even funnier is that in the next scene Rikku is ACTUALLY dancing, not just doing a subtle sway. Why wasn't she doing this earlier LMAO.

Yuna screams into the void out of frustration, and we're asking the same question her. "Who is Lenne?" Is that like the main villain of the game? Maybe it's the fake Tidus we keep seeing? There isn't enough information to know for sure right now. It sounds quite similar to Paine (5 letter name ending with a silent "e"), but that might just be a coincidence.

In her dreams, we see Yuna and Tidus running together, hand-in-hand. I don't think this is a scene from the first game? They're being chased by who I think are soldiers of Bevelle (or the old one, at least). Then, we fade out into that huge machine we saw in the sphere, this time with Tidus and Yuna cornered in front of it. They share a look, Yuna shed a tear, then they're both """shot""". They collapse to the ground with no wounds.

This might be nothing, but I got the distinct feeling from the sphere that "Tidus"'s design from the sphere looked remarkably different from the one we know. I put it down to a new game and new-ish art style, but the Tidus in the dream looks exactly as I remember him. I'm probably misremembering, but I'll keep in the back of my mind that the supposed new Tidus looks quite different.

Oh, I guess it's also worth noting that Yuna's in her Summoner garb in the dream, suggesting it takes place some time before this game...? I reckon it's not actually a memory, but more of a vague vision. Mainly because it didn't make too much sense.

RETURNING THE SPHERE

The next day, we gather to decide who to return the sphere to. Seems like it's a matter of choosing our favourite between New Yevon and the Youth League. While I don't really trust either of them, New Yevon seems a lot sketchier at the moment, so I'm leaning towards them. That's if I even get the decision, which I'm not anticipating.

Oh, I DO get the decision. That's pretty cool! OK, I'm following my heart then. I'm going with the Youth League.

This kinda solidifies my theory that both of these organisations are shady and evil, since I don't think the game would let me choose were that not the case. I also think that Nipple's crew is probably more just than anyone, since they're not caught up in this dispute.

DAMN their leader Nooj has such a badass design lol. It might actually be my single favourite design in any of the FF games I've played so far. Saying that, I ABSOLUTELY don't trust his ass.

We enter his hut, and he immediately tells us to forget what we saw on the sphere, telling us that the colossus is called Vegnagun, and possesses overwhelming power and mustn't be touched. Apparently New Yevon think they can control it, and he's trying to prevent them from trying. He also apparently can't say who we saw on the sphere.

OK???? So there's a huge weapon with untold power and New Yevon are trying to capture it. For some reason, I think if we went to New Yevon instead they would've told us the EXACT same damn thing in reverse. "ooooohhhh that's a big weapon and WE'RE trying to stop the Youth League from using it for eeevil". Also, Nooj is pretty ambiguous on the whole fake Tidus thing. He tells us "I cannot say" and not "I do not know", leaving it unclear whether he knows or not.

As we're talking to him, though, we receive a distress call from the Celsius warning of intruders. Someone stole the broken sphere from the Zanarkand Ruins. My immediate thought is that Nooj sent some of his goons to steal from us, although a sphere left at the scene of the crime reveals it was actually Leblanc.

I'm too suspicious of Nooj though, I reckon he sent them lol.

It seems like Yuna wants to clean her hands of the situation with the Vegnagun, being that she isn't a summoner anymore. That isn't gonna last long, is it?

Watching a playthrough, and this person (The Beak)'s version of the game has the orb as being purple, but mine (and others I've seen) have it as a dark orb. As far as I can tell both I and the streamer played on PC, so probably not that.

First image is from The Beak's playthrough, second is from Saltydkdan's playthrough.

Anyone seen this before?

A LOT of people aren't gonna like this post, but I wanna bring a bit of nuance to the discussion. I think most of this is pretty agreeable - as in, I don't think anything here is THAT controversial or out there. I kinda just wanna get my thoughts down somewhere.

There's a TL;DR at the bottom, but essentially, I think anyone saying the chapter is BAD is exaggerating, or needs to play a different game. The strengths and weaknesses average out to a solid 8/10, and being the "worst" chapter in a game like Deltarune is an honour most games can only dream of (even if I'm not sure I'd call it the worst in the first place).

STRENGTHS:

1. Chapter 5 is absolutely the best this game has ever played. I don't think it was a surprise to anyone that the gimmicks would be incredible here, although I also don't think anyone quite anticipated the main gimmick being a full 2D platformer with bunnyhop-elements a la Hollow Knight. Just incredible stuff.
2. Another uncontroversial point - this is the absolute best the game has ever looked. The Garden, Cliffs and Castle were all incredible, as were the sprites and character designs.
3. The music in this chapter has been great. Just to name a few: Garden of Hopes and Dreams, Rakuichi Buster, Petal Dance, Sunset of Seven Suns, Flower Castle, Flower Man, Cutie Mew Mew Magic, Running Sky were all great tracks. I've noticed a lot of people are disappointed with the music - I would strongly encourage those people to have another listen to the OST. These things take time to grow on you.
4. The Weird Route. Genuinely phenomenal, perhaps the best stretch of the entire game. Bone-chilling, incredibly interesting for theories, horrifying. No notes. Mwah.

WEAKNESSES:

By far the biggest weakness with Chapter 5 (and perhaps the single thing dragging it down) is the story. A lot of people are complaining about it, and people who are trying (perhaps a bit too hard) to defend the game are strawmanning by saying that everyone's only complaining because their theories are wrong or because they expected too much lore. So to be clear:

The absence of lore drops is a genuine flaw in this Chapter, but even disregarding them, the story is still subpar.

1. Flowers. The 7 flowers had WAY too much screentime in this story. Of course, your mileage may vary, and Deltarune lives and dies by the likability of its characters, but introducing 7 entirely brand new characters this late into the game is an odd choice, especially when you consider that the supposed main focus of the chapter (Asgore) has less screentime than half of these guys.

2. Asgore. He does nothing. Genuinely has a cumulative total of under 10 minutes of screentime in his own dark world. Perhaps the worst element of the entire story is him resolving his OWN character arc in a MONOLOGUE in the space of 3 minutes. While some of this is to do with expectations we had of him (boss monster this, black shard that), I feel that he could have worked well even without these things.

3. Lack of Progression. We learn absolutely nothing here. Chapter 2 is light on progression, however it begins and ends within the first act of the game, making this a false equivalence. Chapter 3 is also light on progression, so why is that OK but this isn't? The answer is twofold: the ending, and the lore. Chapter 3 had the Knight appear in the end, but even without that, we had the entire sword route to sink our teeth into, making it much more palatable.

So what does Chapter 5 have?.... No, seriously, what does it have? What did we learn here that we didn't know before? Well, very little! Practically nothing when it comes to theorycrafting. The reason why it's so much worse here is because...

4. Positioning within the wider narrative. 5 takes place after 4, which is the most story-dense chapter in the game. And sure, we were told that this would be a more fun and relaxed chapter, which I can accept. This is the most common defense I've seen for the chapter so far, and I understand it. HOWEVER:

Withholding information about the Dessappearance actively harms the narrative.

How on earth is Asgore supposed to have a meaningful character arc when we don't even know what happened to him!? The choice to lean heavily into the "light-hearted, fun nature" of this chapter harm its own narrative, since we can't properly connect to the main story without these components. In other words, this arc was doomed to fail from the start.

5. Unmet expectations. This one is the most controversial, but it needs to be said. Statements like "the vast garden charred in an inferno of jealousy" (suggesting some huge calamity involving fire magic) and "the field of pink and gold" (suggesting some level of resolution towards the pervasive pink and gold theming throughout the game) are INTENTIONALLY misleading, and we can't be blamed for being disappointed that they went nowhere.

TL:DR; Chapter 5 has the best visuals, gameplay and (arguably) music of any chapter so far, but suffers from a narrative that's being choked out by too many characters, whereby the supposed main focus of the plot gets no screentime and thus no satisfying resolution. The intentional omission of key plot details is kinda just annoying and misleading, and actively harms the story the game's trying to tell. Writing it off as the "fun chapter" or the "calm before the storm" doesn't excuse the poor writing and structure the chapter suffers from in a vacuum.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

As always, the latter half of this was streaming on my YouTube channel, which is here if you wanna check it out.

https://www.youtube.com/@mania-jd3my

The VOD is there too.

Before ANYTHING else, the crashes have been REALLY annoying and frequent so far, so I wanna look into that first. Helpfully, someone on Steam (called "Tantalus", lol) has made a guide on how to install a patch that fixes crashing. So yeah, that should be installed...?

(this did not work)

LEARNING THE GARMENT GRID:

Also before I begin any actual progress for the week, I decide to do a bit of grinding. I want to get to grips with this game's combat system and delve into strategy a bit deeper.

My understanding is that the Garment Grid is a configuration of Dresspheres, and each Grid has different perks and bonuses. If, for instance, there's a damage bonus between two DS's, it'd make sense to put two commonly used DS's between them, right?

Right now, I have two of the- oh, no, I have three...? "Healing Wind". Right, I never checked that one, did I?

First Steps is just a standard triforce-looking shape, with seemingly no benefits. There are 6 slots, while the others have 5 and 3 respectively. I assume grids with greater perks have fewer DS's.... can I just call them jobs? I've heard that nomenclature before, we'll go with jobs I think lmao

So yeah, more job slots = fewer perks. Classic quantity vs quality quandary. The second grid, Protection Halo, is a lot more interesting. There are 5 slots, but 4 of them are connected via perks. A helpful chatter told me that the jobs receive the perks they're connected to on the grid, meaning the one I put in the middle won't receive any buffs. I DO notice, however, that I get some sort of buff just for equipping the grid?

One question I have is the difference between perks that have the same buff according to the description, but different icons...? I don't know if you get what I mean, but on the Protection Halo grid there's a blue icon and a yellow icon, both of which have the exact same description.

Finally, the Healing Wind grid is the most simple. There are only 3 slots, and this is clearly the healer's grid (as implied by the name). One job gets Cura, one gets Curaga, one gets neither. Based on my interpretation, it seems like the job connected to the red icon but NOT the blue one gets nothing. All of the jobs get cure, though.

Based purely on my understanding of the characters so far, my inclination is to make Yuna the healer, Rikku some sort of Thief (maybe a Gunner too?) and Paine a damage-dealer, but I'm also wary of being too narrow-minded. I could afford to specialise characters quite heavily in X since I could swap party members out completely freely, but I only have three to work with here - I don't want Rikku and Paine to be killed and be left with the human version of a band-aid.

For now, we'll go ahead with Yuna on the Healing Grid (with White Mage, Festivalist and Gunner), and Rikku and Paine both on Protection Halo. I'd intended to customise each of their Grids individually, but it looks like they need to be the same for now. We have 5 jobs, so there isn't much need to budget. I'm anticipating Paine staying within Warrior and Gunner, and Rikku switching between Gunner and Thief.

That's enough customisation for now, I need to get out there and grind so we can pick the story back up soon. I head over to Besaid - the enemies there are kinda difficult, but not unbeatable by any means. Should be more than enough there to sharpen our teeth on.

BESAID (again):

The first enemy is the weird black, round golem-looking thing with the huge sword. I'm not sure what it's weak to - I don't think any jobs have a Scan or Detect ability yet, so it's a bit hard to figure out. Interestingly, Yuna can't use Curaga yet. Was my assumption wrong? The White Mage job is connected to both the red and blue icons on the grid, and the information table says that having both unlocks Curaga, soooo....

OHHHH I remember now! I'd misquoted that chatter from before - the abilities aren't passive, you need to travel along the lines to hit each icon. Presumably, then, if I manage to get both the red and blue icons in the same battle, it'll unlock Curaga for that battle. Interesting...

Yeah that makes this way deeper lmao. For now, there isn't much need to overcomplicate. The only thing I'd really like is some way to detect enemy weaknesses other than using trial and error.

I also wish there was a way to check base stats (as in, without a dressphere equipped), if those even exist in this game. That'd give me a good idea of which character is best-suited for which job. My gut tells me Yuna should be the resident mage, but I feel like the game and story are both trying quite hard to break her free from those shackles.

While I'm out, I head back to the village and speak to Wakka. He says that there probably never was a sphere of his parents to begin with, which feels to me like the game signalling we're not at all done with this plot-thread yet. Which is a good thing. He also says "If Auron was still around, he'd give me a good tongue-lashing I bet." Don't remind me :(

While I do generally prefer the CTB system, ATB is great for weak enemies, especially in this game (as in, moreso than in IX) due to the sheer speed. I can queue up three attacks and instantly wipe out any fodder, and everything feels way more dynamic than the other games. There's a great sense of speed and momentum in battle. It also helps that the attacks are incredibly punchy and satisfying to look at (although I'm not sure that's unique to this game), and there's some "Chain" mechanic? I'm not sure what it does, but it seems to pop up whenever damage is dealt within quick succession.

I love that dialogue in battle consists of Rikku and Yuna saying traditionally corny JRPG dialogue and Paine just saying "what the fuck are you guys even talking about?" lmaooo

The attack names are very cool, too. Instead of "Fire Sword" and "Ice Sword" we get Flametongue and Ice Brand.

MI'IHEN HIGHROAD:

After a while, I get sick of the fodder in Besaid. I'm not sure we've gotten that much stronger, but I think we're ready for something a bit more challenging either way. I head over to Mi'ihen Highroad, which promises a 3-star difficulty (one more than Besaid).

The first enemy is a Shantak, which takes a WHILE to take out lmao. It's strong and does some decent AOE damage, but if we farm enemies near the savepoint we won't have to worry about spending too much MP.

I notice an NPC offering a ride on some kind of hovercraft, and one of the options is the Travel Agency. Is that Rin's? We head inside, but he isn't there right now. There is a machine there, and the patrons are understandably creeped out by it.

It's pretty weird seeing the highroad without a single Chocobo galloping around. We're really diving into this nature vs machine theme, aren't we? I hope we are, there's plenty to explore, even if X and IX contained some of the same elements.

There's an NPC who springs a pop quiz on us further down the highroad about a machine stood on a lone pillar. Apparently, it's sat out of the way of any hovers passing by since the road gets too narrow to navigate without interruption.

If only the British government had the same sense....

Well either way it's this exact attention to detail that I loved about FFX. There was literally no need to include this, nor was there a need to have an NPC explain it with a quiz (rather than just an exposition dump). At the end of the highroad, there are some NPCs campaigning to bring back the Chocobos, which is another cool detail. I'm not entirely sure if this lack of Chocobos is a development constraint or an actual plot point, but this is cool either way.

We keep battling until we reach level 10 (which takes a LONG time, by the way), and then return to the airship. This is all happening off screen, which makes it the first time I'm playing this game unwatched. Everything from this point is streamed.

First up is the Moonflow. I don't remember this place very well, but the sight of ze shoopufs refreshes my memory. There is literally nothing here though, despite someone telling me there's a missable dressphere around here.

BIKANEL:

Our first mistake was trusting Rikku to be our tour guide through this place. We quickly get lost in the arid sands of the desert's rolling hills, before we're found and rescued by a group of Al-Bhed.

As is tradition, I decide to self-translate the Al-Bhed language, completely bypassing the ciphers the game tries to lure me into hunting for. This is a pretty long detour - matching each letter of their language with what I think they're trying to say. We make a few stumbles here and there (someone was adamant that "kuud" meant "loot" when it in fact meant "foot"), and we collectively lose our damn minds, saying things like:

"A <thing>? I <stuff>"

After a while, though, we manage to build a cipher complete enough to function on the fuel of context, and move on. For posterity, here's what we made:

AL-BHED = ENG

y = a

e = i

d = t

u = o

n = r

s = m

r = h

a = e

o = y

m = l

p = b

h = n

b = p

u = o

v = f

Eventually we speak to Nhadala, who lets us begin scavenging in the desert. This minigame is... interesting. I only played it once on stream so as to keep the story flowing, but the idea is we have a single minute (enemy encounters notwithstanding) to scavenge for materials marked on the map, and must return to the ship to make sure we don't lose our resources. I hear that the rewards can be pretty good, so I'll definitely check it out again later, but for now we're given 100 gil and are sent on our way.

One thing I wanna mention is how fucking awful I am at following directions in this game. I've routinely embarrassed myself in front of everyone by pottering around like an idiot for far too long, only for the answer to be "go talk to the guy you were just told to talk to". I mention this because I'm not sure if that's down to a lack of direction from the game or me being under the pressure of playing in front of a live audience (who probably aren't even watching anyways???)

Speaking of which - thank GOD I was playing this game live, because I would NOT have known you can multi-target magic spells in this game. When we reach Zanarkand Ruins (we'll get there) there are lots of encounters that are a group of weak enemies, and a group-cast spell fodderises them. It's kinda weird that it's mapped to the left arrow of all things, right?

Anyways, after almost getting pounded into the sand by an ogre, we escape the desert and head back to the ship. Since there are like 3 locations we haven't been to yet (and I wanna miss as little as possible) I put a poll out to find out where to go next, and the result is the Calm Lands. FYI, I only do this kinda thing sparingly, since I don't want to be backseated or anything. Rest assured I'm still playing free of spoilers and influence.

CALM LANDS:

This was one of my favourite locations in FFX, mainly because it represented such a deviation from the standard formula of semi-linear hallway-like areas that populated Spira. A huge, open and sprawling plain filled with fiends and tiny secrets tucked into the corners, it was great.

Anyways, the word of the day is industrialisation.

There are a few.... uh... """""games""""" for me to play, which all (in some way or another) boil down to gambling. The most obvious of which is the Lupine Race, which is LITERALLY just betting on horse-racing lmao. After someone tells me how the hell odds work, we make a bet, win (I did not realise we'd won) and then made another bet which we lost. So that's cool I guess?

Another game is basically just Wakka's Element Reels from his overdrive in FFX (I miss that guy already), albeit with some stochasticity introduced via the fiends' freewill. Finally, there's some sort of mechanic with two rival companies that we can pledge our allegiance to. They really made consumerism a mechanic here lmao. I'm sure that gets more involved the more you play, but I'm not interested in this for now.

MUSHROOM ROCK ROAD:

I do not have pleasant memories of this place. Of course, we saw Operation Mi'ihen transpire around here, but what I really remember is the supreme beating I received from a certain Dark Aeon. That was one hell of an ambush lmao. The place is slightly friendlier now. There's an actually story-relevant even here, as we chase dumb and dumber from Leblanc's gang through the thick fog polluting the undergrowth of the road, and we follow them to a strange door with 9 orb slots. We plug one of them in, and are greeted by Maroda!

He tells us Pacce is in the "Kinderguardians" (holy shit please don't stop these names from coming they are SO funny) and that Isaaru.... well, he goes quiet and then (in not-so-many words) tells us to kick rocks and fuck off. Maybe we'll find out more about that later? Is he dead? That's my first assumption.

ZANARKAND RUINS:

Finally, we head over to the last hotspot. This place is just as beautiful as the day we left it. I remember first-trying Lady Yunalesca here and pissing everyone in the comments off lmao. And yet... something's off.

The place is a tourist attraction now...

I'm initially quite disgusted - it feels like a sacred place is being violated, even IF the people here are tourists and pilgrims, and aren't outright desecrating the place. However, it IS a public place. I don't see why it should be blocked off from the public just because our plucky gang of heroes made some great memories, though. I do feel her pain, it's especially uncomfortable watching some rather unappreciative tourists chatting over the campfire that we saw every time we opened the game.

Also here is Isaaru! I'll get ahead of this now, he seems REALLY weird in this game. I seem to remember him having a very normal and unremarkable voice, but he initially sounds incredibly sick and downtrodden, and later (when he pulls his Wizard of Oz schtick) sounds really strange and upbeat. He seems like a completely different character, and I'm not sure why. I get that a lot happened in the last two years, and I understand why he'd support Cid turning Zanarkand into a tourist attraction, being that he always wanted to come here as a pilgrim, but why is he acting so odd?

We head into the ruins, and run into the aforementioned Kinderguardians, who are adorable. I'm glad they're not hyper-competent and really just some goofy little kids going on a treasure hunt. They even bought a hint on how to get the treasure for a ("whole!") 15 gil lmao.

After battling through a swarm of... ahem... "goons", we reach the Cloister of Trials, and THIS feels really off. The Trials were always very intense and isolated spaces. If anywhere in the entire game felt holy and sacred, it's this place, so seeing it's dead husk paraded around like this feels tasteless. That's not a criticism, of course, it's the intention of the game, and it's done really well. An equally good idea was situating Cid, the ringleader of this operation, in the Chamber of the Fayth.

Oh yeah key-mon monkey haha laugh let's move on.

Surprisingly we get the option to confront Cid about this, and he seems receptive to our concerns. I do wonder what he's supposed to do about it - if he packs up and leaves, someone else will just take his place, right? Maybe he can try to be a bit more respectful.

After speaking to Isaaru and suffering through his frankly cringeworthy spiel, we remember that the sphere oscillo-finder did actually pick up a sphere here despite his worthless prize (OK not that worthless but not what we're here).

And we get promptly destroyed in the very first enemy encounter we get, which is where I ended things for today.

Things are heating up now! I think that door in MRR is something interesting, but not necessarily plot-relevant. I still don't know how the story is going to take shape from here, but here are some predictions:

- We need to return to Gagazet to find the two Ronso Kimahri told us about (job for next time?)

- Lulu is definitely going to give birth by the time the game finishes.

- Wakka is going to find his parents' sphere, which definitely exists.

- Paine has some tragic backstory (maybe involving Gippal (nipple)?)

- The Tidus we saw isn't real. He's either some elaborate fake or the entire sphere is fake. This is mainly me refusing to believe they really brought him back (no spoilers!)

Thanks for reading!

The prospect of getting more Deltarune at ALL seems ludicrous, but nope, it's happening. And in literally under 5 days. Insane.