AITAH -The Blame Game
I a married woman who is definitely old enough to know better, and I’m currently in a desperate financial situation trying to catch up on some past-due bills.
For background, my husband gives me money to pay the household bills. I manage our finances and pay everything from a specific checking account. Over the years, he repeatedly forgot the password to the account and had to reset it so many times that he eventually stopped accessing it altogether. In our 10+ years of marriage, he has never questioned my spending, and I’ve always made sure the bills were paid on time.
Last month, our oldest child turned 13, and I wanted her to have a memorable birthday experience. I took my daughter and two of her friends on a trip. My husband thought the trip was excessive but agreed to contribute. I also work and paid for most of it myself, and I booked everything far enough in advance to get a good deal.
Unfortunately, things went wrong. We overspent, and then I underestimated the amount of time needed to get through TSA and missed our return flight. Because I had booked through a third-party travel site, they refused to rebook us.
The cost of getting home that same day during Memorial Day weekend was almost as much as I had spent on the entire trip. Staying an extra two days wasn’t an option because we had other obligations. Faced with that situation, I used money that had been set aside for bills, intending to pick up extra shifts at work and replace it before anything became overdue.
However, due to changes at work and the economy, opportunities for extra shifts dried up. When I realized I was in trouble financially, I reached out to my father-in-law for a loan. My husband does not have a relationship with his father and does not speak with him.
My father-in-law agreed to help, but only on the condition that we begin attending monthly family dinners. While my husband was out of town, I attended the first dinner with our daughter.
My sister-in-law was there and later texted my husband, thanking him for reconciling with his parents. That’s when everything blew up. My husband was upset and asked why we had gone. I explained that during our trip, our daughter told me she missed her grandparents but didn’t want to tell him because she didn’t want to upset him.
My husband then confronted our daughter about it, and she seemed completely confused by the situation.
So, AITA for borrowing money from my father-in-law and taking our daughter to see her grandparents without discussing it with my husband first?