AITAH for asking my roommate not to scream cry?
My roommate (we will call her Debby) and I are both in our mid to late 20s, we both work full time and we are both taking college courses plus we each have a child under 10. For the last 9 months of our lease Debby has been scream crying loudly in our apartment at least bimonthly. She does this in the kitchen, on the balcony, in the bathroom, and in her room, always loud enough for it to be heard from any room in the apartment. She has done this on Christmas Eve when I had company over and has done it on other occasions where we had company and all of my friends have heard it at least one. I have approached her multiple times when she’s doing this and asked if she’s alright and she never replies or really says anything, she just stops temporarily but then often starts back up. I’ve avoided saying anything about it because if she doesn’t want to talk to me about it then I think it’s best to just let her do her thing as long as it’s not affecting the kids.
The most recent time she scream cried it woke up my daughter who texted me “is Debby okay?” off her watch (the kind where she can only text and call me in case of emergencies.) The scream crying also woke up my partner but he is not a roommate technically since he doesn’t live with us so idk if that matters. I went out to the kitchen where she was scream crying and asked if she was alright. She didn’t say anything and just stopped. I returned to my room and maybe 10 minutes later when everyone was back asleep I heard her call her mom and begin loudly complaining to her about how she “got home so late and now has to clean the kitchen after someone else and everyone else gets to come home and relax.” This aggravated me because Debby was speaking loud enough to ensure she was heard through my closed door. For additional context she hadn’t been home for a week after leaving me a sink full of dishes and not having helped clean the apartment for MONTHS and there was less than a dishwasher load of dishes in the sink and a dishwasher I had already emptied. So, I went out to the kitchen and said “if the dishes are going to cause you this much stress you don’t have to do them, you can leave them for me. No one said you had to do them right now.” Admittedly I use d pretty stern tone and I did probably sound mean because I was so upset and confrontation makes me really nervous. She said something along the lines of “It wasn’t about the dishes I was having a panic attack and now I’m talking to my mom” though the exact wording escapes me because I was very anxious at this point. We did not speak for the rest of the evening and I texted her in the morning. We have not spoken since that night in person and all communication has been through texts which I have attached a link to the screen shots in the comments which is where the actual meat of this issue is. It has escalated pretty far and I’d just like to know if I’ve been unreasonable or unfeeling in this.