u/Zestyclose_Split_407

Interestingly enough this was deleted on the r/perimenopause sub. Hopefully some of the women on this page will help out here.

I work in healthcare and the office I work in is staffed by more women than men which is pretty much the norm. I have always had a brother/sister vibe with my coworkers in pretty much every job so it isn’t uncommon for us to discuss relationships, life struggles etc on a pretty personal level.

For example, when my closest work sister (we started together just before COVID and really ended up as close as I am to my bio sisters) was struggling with fibroids and other issues that led to a partial hysterectomy, I was one of her confidants. She would share relationship struggles, discuss her irregular periods, pain, Etc. This tends to be sort of the norm for my work relationships.

That brings me to my question, my wife struggles to talk about things like period discomfort, perimenopause symptoms, relationship concerns much more than my coworkers do. This has gotten better over time, but it still seems somewhat forced.

In my work life, the women I work with have shared peri/menopause books with me, talked about podcasts, discussed treatment options and current research, etc. When it comes to navigating this phase of our marriage. They offer a sympathetic ear at times and also as a reality check when needed. One keeps threatening to steal my wife if I screw it up (she is also married so it is in good fun, but also reminds me what a great partner I have). I couldn’t be more grateful for them.

All that being said, why is it easier for the women I work with to talk to me about things than it is for my wife?

When I was writing my last comment on here I was reminded that I probably have a different set of circumstances than most guys who are navigating peri / menopause with their partners. One of the things that has helped me is finding allies to help me navigate this part of life with my wife.

I work in a healthcare clinic, and the provider on my team is going through peri herself, so is really engaged in the current research, goes to conferences, etc. She is very much in favor of hormone therapy, but also advocates things like resistance training, and other therapeutic options for our patients who are going through perimenopause.

She, and a couple other women in the office who are in the same age range as my wife and I, have been an awesome resource. They have been both sympathetic ear, and at times a reality check. When I’m feeling frustrated, confused, or otherwise upset with how my wife’s symptoms are affecting me or our relationship they will often share about their own experiences or relationship struggles which helps to keep things in perspective.

We have also shared books, talked about current life challenges and have generally been a supportive network for each other. It is kind of strange to me how I can have these kind of open conversations with the women I work with, but my wife will deflect when I bring up the same topics.