u/Zestyclose_Tale_3888

now i js feel like im in denial and thats why they wont work

Scared to go, what if my thoughts are real? I need some advice

Im bored and overthinking, i gotta stay for a couple days till therapist come. IT FEELS TO REAL i want a way out

it feels to real so i keep caring, and even when i do think its hocd i cant stop thinking about it.

i wanna see improvement i havent been happy in nearly a year i just wanna be able to enjoy what i used to enjoy

i dont know if its hocd, i wanna know. i feel like my attraction to women is gone i cant even point out whats attractive anymore, i dont wanna be gay, the idea has always been weird to me but ive always supported gay people, love is love. i dont live in a family that cares i just personally dont like the idea, but i keep only noticing attractive guys now and checking if i get gronial responses i cant handle this anymore its been almost a year im turning 15 soon, its exhausting and has ruined my life, my relationship(s). i keep watching porn to test myself, i know thats a bad idea i just cant help it. i cant "not care" because im not sure if its even hocd im scared im in denial, i dont wanna be gay ive always wanted a gf. what do i do? theres way more to say, but i hate typing. i hope someone can help me out, i dont need reassurance i just need some advice man. this is one of my MANY themes, i also feel like a monster that this bothers me more then pocd. I think its because i know id never harm a child in any way tho.