TIFU Commemorating the time I survived the ultimate commuting survival horror game (Stomach flu vs. Philippine public transit)
I just want to share an absolutely unforgettable, hardcore commuting experience from back when I was working in Manila. It was a spiritual battle of cosmic proportions. It started at work. My stomach hurt so bad that I literally had to temporarily stop breathing just to endure the hellish, stinging sensation. Realizing I couldn't function, I tapped out to head home. The plan: take a jeepney to another jeepney station, then head to the bus terminal. I realized I ran out of change and only had a ₱1000 bill. I had to wander around the market completely lightheaded, dizzy, and fighting a lethal combo of acid reflux and aggressive diarrhea, begging vendors to break the bill. Because it was early/slow, everyone turned me down. I was so frustrated and desperate. Luckily, a legendary jeepney conductor saw my soul leaving my body and just gave me ₱20—enough for one trip. To that man: you are a literal guardian angel. I finally made it to the bus terminal and immediately sprinted to the restroom to dispose of the unwanted problem. I was trapped in that stall for 20 minutes, fighting for my life and puking my guts out. By the time I staggered out, I was shivering violently and the dizziness was intensifying. I bought a tetra pack of sterilized milk and some biscuits, but I didn't dare touch the milk. Taking a sip before a 3-to-4-hour rush-hour bus ride felt like playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun. The entire bus ride was a level of hell that words cannot fully describe. It was a holy trinity of suffering: Dizziness + Stomach Pain + Butt-Clenching 3000. I was multitasking so hard to keep my composure that I completely lost track of time. I just remember praying to every known god and deity to let me get off that bus without causing a national disaster. Against all odds, I survived the bus. But the universe wasn't done with me. Next up was a 30-minute local tricycle ride. Take everything I just said about the bus experience, but add a map modifier: terrible, broken roads, and a motorcycle suspension that felt like riding a jackhammer. Every single bump felt like a threat to my dignity. After getting off the tricycle, I still had a 1km walk to my house. I walked at terminal velocity, pouring 100% of my body's remaining electrical grid and focus straight into my glutes. Funny enough, my headache and dizziness completely vanished during the walk. My brain’s survival instinct basically said, "We will deal with the neurological damage later, right now there is a catastrophic breach in the hull." I stumbled into my house looking like a drunk man. I didn't even bother removing my dirty shoes or throwing down my bag; I just bolted for the bathroom and almost ripped my jeans off. I wasn't even fully seated when the fuse ran out and the thrusters ignited without delay. Complete, chaotic liftoff. The second my business was taken care of, the adrenaline wore off. The headache, dizziness, and stomach pain came crashing back all at once. I spent the next hour shivering on the floor, completely soaked in cold sweat.I survived, but I left a piece of my soul on the highway that day.
TL;DR: Tried to commute home from Manila while fighting a brutal case of stomach flu and diarrhea. Endured a multi-hour battle of pure willpower across jeepneys, a rush-hour bus, and a bumpy tricycle ride, barely making it to my toilet before total engine failure.