"Nah, you're fine, its just another redditor" said the police officer, so I hit him with the same garden shovel
But the sting operation went badly wrong when the drug dealing goats killed my partner and even though we arrested them all, I found out that day that bustin' does not always make me feel good
Over dinner, the Senator explained thats not what racist means and that there are apparently two Ps in rapper...
but, "Isn't it a little short for a Stormtrooper?" saids she :(
A particularly agressive strain of antibiotic-resistant goat syphilis, also I lied about the schools.
"I said penis mightier than sword" replied Willem Defoe who then beat me to death with his distractingly large penis
Unfortunately it was Dr. Johnson Groper the world's preeminent peenar enbigotment specialist and now my peenar is a tiny racist, he also molested me because nominative determinism
So I wished for a handful of shit and now I have two handfuls of shit #winningatlife
"No need to be so formal, please, call me Peggy" said my wife as I introduced her to my grandmother
I raised my hand
Said the sentient super-diarrhoea as I finished my salad
"Who the fuck are you calling grandma?" The woman replied, before shooting me 73.86 times because apparently its considered a faux pas to comment on random people's age and/or teeth whilst visiting the hood
"The autopsy, you were supposed to do the autopsy, I really need to find a new vet..." said the former cat owner
"Why do you keep calling me!?!?" sobbed the orphan kid
"No" Replied the butt taco food truck guy, because he is a racist
But when I looked in the fridge I realised my wife had already taken the last one and put the empty carton back, again :(
So I made eye contact with the overly large male chicken sitting in the cuck chair while the farmer did stuff to my butt
But I had paid for human shit and my guests are arriving in less than an hour, what a waste of money!
"The red one, you wake up in your own bed to the sound of your own explosive diarrhea" he continued