r/badtwosentencehorrors

Good boy

All of a sudden this woman walks by, steps on a skateboard slips and does like 11 backflips through the air, bounces off a tree causing all of her clothes to fly off and she lands right on my peenar, and now she's saying she's pregnant.

I just hope my children could tell it's me and not their Thanksgiving turkey

I looked to my left, no toilet roll, and to my right, the rest of Ikea

The zombie then pulled out a Glock and shot me

A horrific mix of understanding and confusion dawned upon me like a giraffe discovering porn, for I had tasted these seasonings before; Joe had been enslaved as a slave chef, like some kind of cook forced to make things to eat.

To my horror I learned They don't use seasonings.

The buckles violently locked shut just as the bidet engaged with the force of a pressure washer.

When I arrived at the meeting location I was attacked by an ostrich.

Then I looked at the dog, absolutely fucking tanked, I started shaking.

You are gon die, die, die when your organs start to fly, fly, fly.🎶

But then Bigfoot headbutted me and I fell all the way down

It was actually the Crappalachian mountains and every single one of us shitted our pants to death.

My sleep paralysis demon punched me until I was unconscious

He hammered my balls and peenar.

She is not breathing

TOUCH GRASS I DID AND NOW THE LAWN IS PREGNANT.

To my horror I realized too late that it was a scare BnB.

Then the burger ate me back.

But my Sclorpus had hyperrealistic boobs and breastfed me hyperealistic blood, the blood of my father which he sclorped up just yesternight.