r/badtwosentencehorrors

“Jumpin Jehoshaphat I sure can’t wait to try and break into the arts with original music and a graphic novel” I said to multiple subreddits and the internet.

“Nice try, but fuck you” said the soulless, talentless, handjob of a human being using ai to make shitty, dumb fuck art because they are jealous of creative people and too lazy to do the work themselves and they’re also in cahoots with the meatworm and they proceeded to stab, shoot, poke, pinch, punch and kick me 420 times in the face and groin.

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u/6tea9 — 1 day ago

"Excuse me friend, but I think you misspelled poutine on your menu buddy, sorry, eh" said the very polite Canadian guy, very politely, as he read the menu at my 100% authentic Canadian poo-tine restaurant

"Thanks for telling me guy!" I replied as I brought him his poutine, but I had used shredded mozzarella instead of cheese curds, so the very polite Canadian government very politely executed me for war crimes eh!

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u/ZombieFrankReynolds — 2 days ago

“Hey, that wasn’t so bad,” the boy said, feeling only a slight prick from the needle.

“That was just the prep,” the doctor said, gesturing toward the door, and then two nurses walked in carrying an enormous syringe.

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u/GhostOfLotus — 2 days ago

“EUREKA, I’ve finally done it, I’ve constructed the perfect second sentence for a badtwosentence horror”, I exclaimed excitedly and energetically as I had just mixed the perfect concoction of a first and second sentence.

“Meatworm, Creature, Meta-joke, obscure pun, stabbed 57 times, call back to the first sentence, run-on long sentence, and obligatory use of an emoji 🪱 also BOO” said the TurnYourPerfectSentenceIntoAnActuallyScarySentence guy.

reddit.com
u/6tea9 — 3 days ago

I stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk, causing me to spill 342.5 mL of 1.2 M hydrochloric acid from my right pocket.

I tried to calculate what volume of 0.8 M sodium hydroxide from my left pocket I'd need to neutralize the acid, but my tears of anxiety fell into the puddle faster than I could finish the calculation, resulting in an exothermic energy release that fried my balls.

reddit.com
u/Flame_Insignia — 3 days ago

I saId Wow, I SURE hope i don't get stuffed in a furries stomach, Ill hate that

"That's not gonna work" said the man that stops people from using the Bad 2 Sentence Horror formula to gain something they desire greatly.

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u/TheMostSussyBaka — 3 days ago

My wife was telling me about her day when I randomly said out loud “I could not give a Fuck”.

“Heh heh heh” I heard from the other side of the room and that’s when I realized it was the Steal Your Fuck Guy and he had stolen all my Fuck and I was all out of Fuck, Fuck that guy, dude.

reddit.com
u/6tea9 — 4 days ago

If only I had listened to my parents and not snuck out to that concert I wouldn't be dead now

Sorry, that was a typo, it should read "I wouldn't be deaf now"... because the music was way too loud

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u/BoboMcGraw — 4 days ago