u/6tea9

“HELP my older brother is being attacked by the Peenar and Butt Explosion Guy” I said as a second-born Chinese boy named Chang.

“What’s his name?” asked the Save Your Older Brother from the Peenar and Butt Explosion Guy but when I tried to say his name, my brothers peenar and butt were exploded and that’s how my brother Tikki Tikki Tembo-no Sa Rembo-chari Bari Ruchi-pip Peri Pembo lost his peenar and butt and the moral of the story is, keep your older brother away from strange guys.

“HELP my older brother is being attacked by the Peenar and Butt Explosion Guy” I said as a second-born Chinese boy named Chang.

“Well well well, looks like the tables have turned” I said to John Evil-man III.

I wrote this song several years ago. It’s called “Picture”

“So it’s pronounced Puhnuhmonya?” I asked my doctor but he told me that the “P” is silent.

This song is called “A.I. killed the internet star” or “Atlas” I haven’t decided yet.

This song is called “Horoscope.”

“Yay it’s time for my daily dose of Reddit where I can access my app quickly and efficiently and look at all of my favorite content both SFW and NSFW without having to adjust my settings every time” I said social mediaingly as I thumbed my smart phone.

“Oh thank gosh, no mess” I said feeling around my bed as I woke up from a dream where I was non stop pissing and shitting.

“I sure am glad my order of wings is at my door, ready to be enjoyed with my Ranch dipping sauce” I said fatly as I opened my front door, grabbed the bag, and walked back to my dining room where I sat down to eat my 2 dozen buffalo wings.

“Para Español, oprima numero dos” said the telephone operator, but I accidentally hit 3.

Gary Grayson, the Groupon Gynecologist, gazed gravely at Gracie Garrison’s growler as it groaned gleefully.

I Drove my Dodge to Dunkin Donuts to get some Donuts to Dunk in my Dunkin Donuts coffee mug filled with non-Dunkin Donuts affiliated Diet Dr. Pepper.

“I’m really glad I finally have the time to get back into Magic: The Gathering” I said as I parked my car around the corner and down the street from my local card/comic shop.

“Surely the dead internet theory can’t be real, I must check other subreddits to make sure there are real people” I said out loud to myself outloudingly.

I read a Haiku, and it was really scary.

I met a guy who said he put all his Eggs in one Basket.

Yeesh, my wife and girlfriend, and my girlfriend’s brother in law were telling me there’s a scary killer who spells backwards on the loose!

I finally finished installing the toilet in the bathroom where people go to do bathroom things.

“Separate the art from the artist” said the smug idiot defending scumbag artists who may or may not have written hit book series and top 40 songs.

“I’m so glad Reddit stopped forcing subreddits I have blocked 15 separate times into my for you page so I can stop reading ai slop that bot accounts are trying to pass as real life drama for karma and engagement” I said out loud to literally no one, because I am a chud.