u/smilelikeachow

laughed the doctor, as he stitched the mouth of the Human Centipede to its rear end. 😈😈

Just screaming as she plummeted 70 feet down the spillway.

Then Timmy ran up and threw in all twenty of Sukuna's fingers.

15 pops later, I screamed and writhed in agony, tied to the chair as Michael Jackson finished popping all the joints of my left hand out of their sockets and moved on to the right..

>!Or at least until LSS clarifies how exactly Traverse works. The nonsense below will not happen if Traverse only applies to the side that triggered it.!<

1. Make sure Viserai is currently 'Viserai, Forsaken'.

2. Create 3rd runechant for your turn (can be from Dirge, Malefic etc.). For maximum funny, try to sequence this to happen on the second attack of the turn (You can also do this on the first attack of the turn since it's easier to pull off but then it's not that funny.)

3. Viserai, Forsaken's "banish topdeck when create runechant, then if you created ≥3 runechants this turn, traverse" ability kicks in.

4. While that ability is on the stack, activate Speelbound Creepers. (ignore #4 and #5 if this is the first attack of the turn since you can't activate Spellbound Creepers then)

5. Using Speelbind Creepers, play Dirge at instant speed.

6. Before the Dirge in step (5) resolves, play Funeral Moon (at instant speed. Yeah I guess you need to do this on an opponent with negligible AB, or Seeds of Agony/Deny Redemption to execute this at 100% success rate if the opponent somehow refuses to lose life).

7. Play another Funeral Moon.

8. Play Funeral Moon #3.

9. Watch Viserai flip around and around like he breakdancing or possessed by demons.

10. Call judge, ask which side Viserai lands on when everything resolves. 🙃

(that was the nonsense taken to it's logical extreme. I just started off wondering if playing a Funeral Moon while Forsaken's ability is on the stack for runechant #3 would transform Viserai Forsaken into Viserai Usurper, then when the previous trigger resolved, it would transform Usurper back into Forsaken, which would be funny enough. 😅)

Our target doesn't have a dog, or any pets for that matter, so we improvised and kidnapped his daughter instead.

"Lol I'm not the Pot of Greed, I'm the Pot of Lust," laughed the Pot of Lust, before proceeding to peg him for all 4000 of his life points.

Wisdom is refusing to watch Skibidi Toilet because of what happened to it.

"Lol ok, sure thing, Tyrone," said the judge, as I watch him call in the KKK members to take their places amongst the jury.

While chopping lumber in the woods this fine afternoon, I spotted a group of five teenagers standing furtively in the corner of a large clearing.

From their outlandish get-ups, I knew they weren't druggies hiding in the woods to get their fix, but cultists. From their loud chanting, I knew it was some.. summoning ritual they were performing. From all the.. stuff floating and flying 'round them

(which in the first place, isn't supposed to be floating and flying around at all)

as they chanted, I knew it was the real deal and none of that Tick Tock bullshit kids their age do nowadays.

And from what I remembered watching on TV years ago regarding the activities of this cult, the ritual was nearing completion, meaning I needed to step in and put a stop to this nonsense right now.

"HEART-" yelled the fifth cultist, but that did nothing since the arm connected to his hand wearing the magic ring he was using to channel the power to perform the ritual was now a chopped off piece of flesh no longer attached to his body.

"AHHHHH" he wailed next, falling to the ground, bleeding heavily from the ragged stump which was once his right arm.

Even without their eldritch deity, the remaining cultists still had their magic rings and were therefore still dangerous, so I had to move quickly. Fortunately, I knew their weakness.

I quickly grab the cultist whose arm I had dismembered, and hold him in front of me like a human shield, letting his friends watch as he bleeds out. Letting them watch as the blood-covered blade of my axe brushes ever so lightly against his exposed throat.

"Remove all five of your rings," I demand. "Put them on the ground in front of me, then step back, turn around and fuck off."

Their eyes betray their terror and helplessness. Yet they stare at me apprehensively, unwilling to make a move.

"Or we can wait till your friend here bleeds to death. Or maybe my axe slips and it slashes open his throat next."

That seemed to do the trick. Seconds later, I pick the five rings off the ground, laughing.

"And remember, you fucking eco-terrorists," I yell, as they run away with their injured friend in tow, "the power isn't yours!"

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