"How absurd, they all go in the square hole," the god answered as he pushed me into the abyss.

"Well, we can, but your husband needs to be conscious to give consent, and this fresh 'I'M A CHEATING BASTARD' tattoo doesn't count."

She would have received top marks in her cursive writing course, but her penmanship left a lot to be desired.

I’m almost to the Icon of sin boss fight, but I think I’ll have to pause the game because she’s been complaining about needing to go to the bathroom.

"This too shall pass."

After letting out a satisfying belch, I realized it was just gas.

Sorry, I meant to say I woke up to a weird ass-feeling and realized I wasn’t alone…

She aced it when her mom taught her about how to use prealge-bras.

I think I'm going to like this new "hole" foods diet.

My brother's extreme OCD is a daily struggle and i support him all the way with it.

Looking on the bright side,i may well be the owner of the cleanest Toyota in the western world.

I’m starting to think it’s vaporwere.

He replied, "Well, you did ask for wry bread."

Imagine if we didn't, where for cavities Colgate instead sold a version of nailclippers to trim teeth as needed.

>!After a few months, the customer comes in and a staffer says: "I'll get the rabbits" to which the customer replies: Not today, I need to renew my pet license for my fox."!<

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

My wife insists on everything in the house being from the 1970's.

She wears the bell bottom trousers in our relationship.