u/Just4notherR3ddit0r

It was a superspider though so the garden shovel rebounded off and struck me in the head.

Picking up the package, he smashed me over the head with it, tearing the box open in the process, and out of it slid a shiny new garden shovel.

She sniffed once and then twice and then went crazy and latched onto my arm and started biting and I yelled for her to let go, and she did but then pulled a garden shovel out of her fur pockets and knocked me unconscious.

"I can't operate on this boy for he is my son," she told the other doctors riddleprioritizingly and then hit me with a garden shovel.

But all we caught were some goats in a salt orgy hitting each other with garden shovels.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, with legs still inside because the Garden Shovel Killer had been there.

However it was still attached to the original guy and after that he did nothing but whine and complain and that's when I realized that peenars are the organ responsible for suppressing complaining, but when I told my wife about this discovery, she caved my head in with a garden shovel.

My kid hit me in the nuts with a garden shovel.

People kept flinging themselves onto Jason's machete as he wondered WTF was Happening.

It was significantly shorter than my arm, though, so Timmy drowned.

So I hoisted it up the nearest flagpole and was immediately sued by John Deere and Disney and PETA and the FDA and the Mormon Church and then arrested for public display of something so hypnotically disturbing that a new law was fast-tracked to give me an expedited death penalty without a jury trial so I guess I win the lawsuits.

I pushed the red button and the world ended.

"It... bleu me away," I dadjoked and then I was murdered by an anti-dadjoker.

"I miss that, too," she said quietly, despite wanting to rage about how she missed being able to hold anything at all.

But as I bite down, I realize too late that it was a bloody stake.

"No, I can probably guess," I said as he picked at another scab.

But then someone offered me a cookie.

It was really hard.

My Bleach, Ammonia, Lye, and Tarantula sandwich really killed at the picnic.

"Our shampoo is on aisle 5," she replied weirdwordingly.