Nobody believes me when I tell them I was mauled by Capn Crunch.
Twelve voters voting,
Eleven creatures creatching,
Ten bartenders ending,
Nine peenars wtf wait whose are these,
Eight farts a sounding,
Seven Jeff the Killers,
Six garden shovels,
Five evil things,
Four polar bears,
Three sentences.
Two meatworms,
And a word wording wordingly!
I did not expect the Spanish Inquisition Piranha.
I get these "we installed spyware and have embarrassing photos" scam emails all the time and I usually just delete them.
This is the first time I've seen one of these emails be uncertain about what was actually done. The software "allegedly" gives the hacker access to my stuff. And at the end, it's no use trying to remove the software because the info has "allegedly" already been copied.
Gave me a good laugh this morning.
The stranger removed his cap, gave thanks for his meal in Polarbearish, and uslurped the throne.
"Impressed isn't a color," I replied and was promptly sentenced to be put to death twice for being a dumbass.
"Ah, you've brought me my lunch," said the Chief Polar Bear Officer to his assistant.
"I got tired of [INSERT SOMETHING A NORMAL PERSON DOESN'T DO] so I (well... "*A*I") built this tool that makes the process far more complicated than it ever needed to be, plus it has a mortgage calculator and an age calculator and image conversion and PDF tools and more is coming. Just tell me what's important to you and give me feedback."
"I'm not a mechanic," said the Polar Bear and he disemboweled and ate me.
With a great bedside manner, he calmly pulled my arms off and ate them like Twizzlers.
.
I drunkenly ordered Pat Die and my friend Pat screamed as the waiter hit them on their head with a garden shovel.
"Oh no - it looks like you don't have a case of no-blood-left," he said exsanguinatingly.
What fell was not water, but ...
Nobody realized until too late that every pillow had been stuffed with a garden shovel.
*click*