▲ 56 r/TwoSentenceHorror
I had to leave my wife with our squirming, crying newborn or I would be late for work.
When I returned, I found her weeping over a perfectly still, duct-taped bundle.
u/Riddle-Maker — 3 days ago
u/Riddle-Maker
▲ 22 r/TwoSentenceComedy
Yeah, I like toilet humor but only if it's monotone.
I just love a bedpan delivery!
u/Riddle-Maker — 3 days ago
▲ 60 r/TwoSentenceComedy
I've created a service where you can hire a Japanese girl to roundhouse someone in the jaw for you.
I call it Kicky's Delivery Service!
u/Riddle-Maker — 4 days ago
▲ 59 r/TwoSentenceHorror
Aw man, the smells from that pie shop are really good.
Maybe I'll head down after my haircut upstairs
u/Riddle-Maker — 5 days ago
After years of studying black holes, I stared into my telescope and found a mysterious brown hole
Nevermind, the cat got in the way again.
u/Riddle-Maker — 5 days ago
▲ 392 r/TwoSentenceSadness
"You will let me sleep next to my baby or I never, EVER let you have another day of peace."
The woman cries clutching her infant as she listens to the increasingly muffled sound of dirt hitting wood above her.
u/Riddle-Maker — 6 days ago
▲ 63 r/TwoSentenceSadness
I stared in the mirror, ready to be judge, jury, and executioner.
No longer just judge and prisoner.
u/Riddle-Maker — 7 days ago
▲ 16 r/TwoSentenceComedy
My curriculum may seem a but light on mathematic operations...
But I can add sum!
u/Riddle-Maker — 7 days ago
▲ 630 r/TwoSentenceHorror
The little child consoled himself through the intense pain:
"If an adult tooth came in after a baby one fell out, maybe I have an adult eye".
u/Riddle-Maker — 8 days ago
▲ 67 r/TwoSentenceComedy
Apparently the Romans werethorough about cleaning in between crucifixions.
They were really worried about cross contamination
u/Riddle-Maker — 9 days ago
▲ 29 r/TwoSentenceHorror
After wandering for days through the wastelands, I've found a tribe that seems ecstatic to see me.
They' seem to be feeding me pork, even though there is no livestock in sight
u/Riddle-Maker — 11 days ago
▲ 32 r/TwoSentenceSadness
As I entered the thrift shop, I thought I saw my dad and his new girlfriend smiling with my mom.
But apparently it's just her urn.
u/Riddle-Maker — 11 days ago
▲ 38 r/TwoSentenceHorror
I woke up in my Airbnb, groggily trying to remember if there was always a coatrack in the bedroom corner.
The next morning, I saw there was nothing there
u/Riddle-Maker — 12 days ago
▲ 1.7k r/TwoSentenceHorror
I yell at the nurses that they're overfeeding my daughter, and that she's going to be the fattest and ugliest patient on the ward.
I continue to scream as my husband drags me out of the NICU.
u/Riddle-Maker — 13 days ago
▲ 309 r/TwoSentenceSadness
Our dog thought we were drowning as we rough housed in the middle of the lake.
No one noticed for an hour until my little sister pulled a Yorkie from the muck.
u/Riddle-Maker — 13 days ago
▲ 13 r/TwoSentenceComedy
My dad may seem super white, but he was able to make an aerosol version of Indian butter.
He calls it the Ghee-Wiz!
u/Riddle-Maker — 13 days ago
▲ 424 r/TwoSentenceHorror
Death told me that if I beat him in chess I may return home and if I lose I will move on to my ancestors, but there will only be one game.
It ended in stalemate.
u/Riddle-Maker — 14 days ago
It seems like our magazine is having trouble getting the after-photos for our Dr. Pimple Popper article.
Looks like we have an issue issue issue.
u/Riddle-Maker — 15 days ago
"I lost my father recently, and I've had a hard time emotionally processing how I can even move for-"
"PEEK A BOO!!!"
u/Riddle-Maker — 16 days ago
▲ 1.1k r/TwoSentenceHorror
I grabbed my brother's hand before fleeing from our aunt's basement.
It's not much, but it's proof I found some of him.
u/Riddle-Maker — 17 days ago