u/FishWithLegsAndArms

Fortunately for me I know how to write really super duper long run on sentences so I just need to keep writing so I don't get shot in the face with the gun and that would kill me and that would be bad because I don't want to die i want to keep being alive so i need to avoid getting shot in the face with a gun by writing a really really long run on sentence I think the only thing that could go wrong is if I accidentally hit the period key while typing because that would make me die because it'd be two sentences and the story would end so its so so important I don't accidentally hit the period key oh god oh no I'm so scared I'll accidentally hit the period I have to remove the period key from the keyboard right now I hope I don't accidentally hit it while removing it from the keybo.

I love reading AITA stories on Reddit.com, but I'd never think I'd make my own post. I'm literally shaking and crying as I write this.

Ok so basically I (20f, huge boobs ((all natural)) and flawless skin) and some friends (20, fat) are going to a costume party hosted by a local celebrity (can't say their name for privacy reasons) and there is a prize for best group costumes. I (20f with huge boobs, remember?) don't really care about the prize, but my friends (20 and fat) want the money to buy zodiac themed stuff or something?

I heard one of them talking about their mom being a cancer and them needing money to fight it. I (20, sexy, and smart) calmly explained that you can't change your zodiac, no matter how rich you are, and my friends (20, fat, and dumb) told me to kill myself. I'm too nice for this friend group but anyways.

So our costume is themed after the human body. So far we have two people being the eyes, then someone is both the nose and mouth (greedy much? What can you expect from a fatty fat fat), then another one of my friends is the spine, and another one of my friends is the liver, and one of my other friends is going to be the right hand, and someone else is the left hand, and there's two people sharing a costume to be the legs.

I volunteered to be the heart, because I'm so nice, but the one friends mom who's obsessed with the zodiac is going to be the heart, and I hate her so I'm going to gently run her over with my car as revenge, but anyways. I asked what body part I'm going to be, and the conversation went like this:

"You're the anus"

"Huh? What's that?"

"The anus"

"What?"

"You know. The sphincter."

"Why am I the sphynx?"

"No. You're the butt hole"

"I don't know what you're saying to me."

"You know. The butt. Where you poop from."

"I don't know what that is."

*frustrated now for no reason* "The asshole!!! You're the asshole!!!"

I ran away in tears, mascara running down my face even though I never wear makeup because my skin is always so naturally beautiful.

I'm literally shaking and crying and peeing a little, Reddit, am I really the asshole for making an innocent mistake and asking a question????