Paranoia and complete personality change
My (f37) partner (M to F) and I have been together for 19 years. She came out just over 2 months ago. It has been extremely difficult for both of us in the beginning, but has been getting much easier.
She started a very low (1/5 normal) dose of hormones that she has decided to chop up and take every couple hours instead of all at once. She also has ADHD and is taking Adderall for that. Sleep deprivation is also a big factor for her and I know she had a least a couple all nighters recently. Overall we have been doing well, but something happened that I'm afraid is going to end our marriage.
We had an argument on Wednesday about how long to stay at a family event. It got quite heated, and went off and on for several hours but historically we've had far worse. Our frst few years we had major tempers but we've hardly fought at all since she came out.
At one point she fell asleep on the floor waiting for the coffee to brew. I saw that there wasn't enough water, so I got down to her level and went to tell her so she could actually get machine started. As I approached she startled awake and appeared to be very panicked. She was physically shaking and dropping things but wouldn't let me help or get near her.
From that point on, she has totally changed her demeanor towards me. She acts like a scared animal. She's jumping when I enter the room and I hear her breathing like crazy after I leave. It seems to be physical/physiological. She accused me of tampering with her medicine and gaslighting her. She won't let me bring her food or drinks. She flinches when I walk in the room and always positions herself to keep a massive amount is space between us. She says she has contacted a lawyer and is filing (divorce) paperwork and will not speak to me without her counselor present. I don't understand what happened. Is there a chemical explanation for any of this?
Help! I'm so devastated. A week ago we were planning a cruise and talking about how close we feel to each other. I don't understand what happened and I can't talk to her about it until Sunday. Even then I totally expect her to just announce we are getting divorced and there's nothing else to it. I just want my partner back.
TLDR: I accidentally startled my partner after an argument and now she doesn't trust me. Could there be a chemical explanation for this sudden paranoia towards me?!