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I like Gamestop so much I could talk about it forever so that's what I'm going to do in this post, this post is directly related to GME. I'll also talk about some interesting insights into my past posts later on but the main point of this post is GME.

So yeah, I mean I've gone to Gamestop my whole life, I think I was able to find a lot of comfort in Gamestop. I find their logo very appealing, the red and the white, it's like christmas. What else? Video games, I love video games and whenever I wanted to buy video games as a kid I would always go to Gamestop. Did anyone else go to Gamestop as a kid? This is a post relevant to GME so I figure I'd start a discussion about stories about going to Gamestop as a kid.

Anyway, isn't it insteresting that my posts about statistics and analytics and how I had a 16% upvote ratio and couldn't seem to have a conversation with a single person who downvoted me got deleted? I'd love to start a discussion.

EDIT: Removed part that possibly broke rule 5.

I like the stock GME. I remember going there as a kid. It would always be so much fun, like a kid in a candy store I'd run around looking at all the different games and toys and action figures. I'd have my birthday or christmas money to buy the new Pokemon game that came out. My Ex-Girlfriend bought me Gamestop sweat pants cause I like the stock so much.

I think I'll buy some more Gamestop stock. I'm not looking for money, money doesn't interest me. I've spent my life working jobs for around $20 an hour. I'm not a rich man and I never will be. I don't have any interest in making lots of money in my life, I think other things are more important. What I do think is important is allowing yourself to experience joy in the things you like. So I think I'll keep investing in the stock that I like.

I don't have interest in money so I have no interest in selling. There's a story I like about Diogenes, he was sitting around in his tub on the streets of Athens and Alexander the great walked up to him, offered him anything he wants in the world. Diogenes looked up at Alexander the great and asked him if he could move a couple feet to the side because he was blocking his view of the sun.

What meaning does power hold to a man that wants nothing?

I'd like to try to be a bit more like Diogenes, not giving a single fuck about what the general population thinks. Living in my bathtub on the streets of Athens yelling at passerbyers. So here I am, sitting in my tub, ready and happy to discuss my favourite stock and why I like it so much.

I’m a 25 year old male, I’ve struggled with severe anxiety and self harm since 12. I first almost killed myself at 12, I remember so vividly (funny because I don’t have many memories from childhood) one morning being alone in the house, having 15 minutes to leave and losing my mind. There’s no way everyone feels this way, I remember thinking of all the things I had to do and how much effort it was going to take, I had to open the front door, walk down the steps, walk on the bricks, then walk down the driveway, walk all the way down the street, turn left, I had a short maybe 20 meters before I’d have to cross a street and check if there were cars each way then I’d be safe to cross, then there were driveways cause it was the suburbs so I’d have to check if there were cars pulling out, and I haven’t even made it to the first crosswalk yet. This was an 8 minute walk. I remember standing in my house losing my mind over this stuff, everyone else does it, no one seems to be having problems, I must be crazy, I remember scrambling up the stairs into my parents room because I knew my mom was sick and took pills, if I took enough of those that should do the job. I remember ripping open the door, I already broke a rule entering my parents room so what’s another? I couldn’t live like this for a lifetime. I was 12. As I was scrambling through their bedside drawer trying to decide which pill bottle would do the job, trying to read and decipher the labels, I caught a glimpse of a photo of my mom on the bedside drawer. It triggered a thought, how would she feel? I know how much I mean to her, it would destroy her. So I stopped. I put the pills back in the drawer, made sure I didn’t move anything else in the room, left without a trace, sucked it up and internalized it like I remember hearing someone suggest at least once before. I internalized and blended in, I thought I was good at it (funny in hindsight).

I spent the next 13 years stumbling through life, everyone loved me (probably because I built a personalized persona for each person, and if I really liked you I would obsess and do my absolute best to please you). I had masked so well I lost sense of myself and my own self worth. I got all of my validation externally, at work (I cut grass for money currently) if a client told me a complaint about their grass it would break my heart, I would immediately apologize (for things I didn’t even know I was apologizing for), and start offering to do extra work for free. And they would tell me what they wanted done and I would do it and go about my day, filled with anxiety for some reason, I thought I had some type of anxiety disorder or as I said earlier, crazy. This is how I managed relationships my whole adult life. Until this past week when I’ve started standing up for myself. And man does it. Feel. Good. I’ve learned that these peoples emotions are not my responsibility, I don’t care about grass.

I kinda lost track of my thought process from the last paragraph so I guess I’ll bring it to now. What I’ve learned about myself through therapy, meeting with professionals to confirm I’m in fact not crazy I just have autism and research into autism and adhd. First off I love stimming, this shits fun, i no joke was jumping up and down shaking my legs and arms and hands celebrating something today. I feel like i can allow myself to feel real joy and happiness casue MAN do i FEEL these deep emotions. Ive learned a lot of things about myself that stem from my autism and adhd and it feels so good.

I’m pissing a lot of people off the more I unmask, turns out I was right about people getting angry and upset when you’re completely direct and honest with them. But I’m trying to learn that I’m not in charge of other people emotions, and the way I view relationships is okay I don’t have to try to conform to this set of societal standards and rules that are set out.

You know what’s happening the more I do this? I’m feeling good, like not ay let’s go I’m having a good couple days/weeks/months until I crash and burn again with anxiety and self harm again inevitably, like good good, like this deep emotional pleasure where I used to feel my anxiety. This happiness, this childhood joy. I’ve had this feeling throughout my life before but never known why, I’ve made attempts to work on my life and become a better person constantly (turns out I was just internalizing all of my emotions, turning it into anxiety and unhealthy coping mechanisms).

But it brings us to now and today and as I’m typing this. Why am I posting this on a subreddit? Cause I don’t really feel the need of external validation from internet strangers anymore. It’s cause I’m realizing there are other people out there like me, we’re all unique and different but we’re out there. And many of us struggle, a lot. And there are some of us who don’t know why we’re struggling so we end up on a strange corner of the internet (we do tend to find each other somehow, I’m realizing all my close friends and family are neurodivergent which is so cool!). So I’m posting my trauma info dump on the internet for y’all, maybe you’re similar to me and not crazy but just neurodivergent and your brain just works a lil differently, and you can learn how it works! And use that to your adventure! One of my closest friends has over 1000 patterns in his head he can call upon and tell you about without any effort. My other friend could tell you anything about busses, he taught me today about how dump truck drivers will generally drive a certain way and how local authorities caught up on that and will actually target specific motor vehicles for that meaning. I find it all so cool and interesting the unique skills each of us possess, kinda feels like a superpower. I was kinda waiting my whole life for my Harry Potter Hargrid moment and here we are. Like I’m now a part of a cool club and I can spot y’all EVERYWHERE. It’s awesome and I was thinking that if this post is helpful to one person and maybe hits a note and makes you research for 20 minutes, it’ll be worth it. I’m also being selfish and indulging in an old special interest of disagreeing with strangers on the internet when they’re wrong, I’m really good at it :).

I’m obviously still very much in the process of unmasking, it’s a roller coaster, I don’t want to give any advice on what to do or tell you to do a certain thing cause I don’t know what to do. What I do know though is my feelings, I can trust those, and the more I trust my feelings and indulge myself in my special interests and kinda follow the guidebook of autism the better I feel. And the less anxious I feel. I actually don’t know if I’ve really felt much anxiety these last few days since my therapist taught me that sometimes we confuse the feelings of anxiety and excitement. And I’m allowing myself to feel that excitement but also the grace to feel bad and tired when I do cause man have I had a hard life that no one’s understood. I guess it would be cool to share that with people one day. Maybe I’ll write a book one day. Gonna focus on this whole unmasking thing first though. I have to keep reminding myself it’s a process, I have the tendency to want to be perfect at things and I’m kinda ironically applying that to my whole journey cause I want so badly to just be fixed but I’m learning that I don’t need to be fixed, I’m just figuring this stuff out.

I’ve tried to conclude this post for a few paragraphs now but I’m kinda letting the tism and adhd flow and mesh and vibe hence the writing style, if anything confuses you feel free to comment and ask for any clarification on anything I said. I’m happy to clarify :) it’s actually been really helpful for me learning that I communicate better through texting sometimes and I’m using it as a tool to try out unmasking fully and I find it helpful to bounce my thoughts off other people to process (it’s called externalizing it feels so much better than this anxiety I’ve felt my whole life).

I talk about a lot of heavy topics in this post but I think it’s important to note I’m doing really good right now. I’m seeing the light for the first time after a long time of darkness in my own head. I’m working with multiple mental health professionals to help me process my journey, I’m not using Reddit to try to get external validation from anyone. I’m just sharing my thoughts cause of those things I said earlier :)

Bye! Feel free to shoot me a DM too if you don’t feel comfortable publicly commenting! :)

I'm confused.

I was an active member of this Reddit forum a few years ago and I return and am shocked to see how much has changed.... Top comments saying things like 'I wish I bought less at $30.', 'I can see myself buying again', top post about how $32 is the real price action. This doesn't remind me of the Reddit forum I remember.

So I figured I'd talk to some apes of why I personally invested in GME. It's a fuck you, it's a holy shit this information is correct and I've discovered this big ol' bag of cash these hedge fucks left sitting around for the taking. All I gotta do is wait... The math is correct, as I'm sure many apes have I went down the rabbit hole, I spent months obsessing and researching thinking there's no way. There's no way these hedge fucks who fuck over vulnurable people left a small crack in their defences. I'd spend hours reading FINRA reports about how JPMorgan would take pension funds and short against them, causing people to lose their life savings. This wasn't one report there were countless reports of hedge funds and banks blantantly robbing vulnerable people. They would pay a small fine for it and continue doing it. I only got to read a small portion of these reports and these reports are only the ones they got caught for! Point being it enraged me.

So what am I going to do about it? What am I going to do about the fact that I'm living in a capitalistic world that fucks me over every day and fucks over everyone else except for and incomprehensibly small portion of the population? I'm gonna say fuck you with my money, I'm gonna keep buying GME, locking those shares away and I'm not selling till I see phone numbers.

I cut grass for a living, I make about $16 USD an hour. I'm not going to overextend myself and put money in GME i can't afford to lose cause that money's already gone to me. I'm not waiting for GME to hit a couple hundred bucks, I've already watched life changing money come and go as I held firm with these diamond hands. I set a price alert for $10,000 cause it'll be cool to watch the show but I'll be holding on for dear life on that rocket ship.

I lost my integrity a few years ago cause I thought I was crazy for seeing something that noone else saw, I was losing my life savings cause I over invested and lost hope when everyone around me basically told me I was crazy. Turns out I'm not crazy I'm just autistic, and I over invested and let my emotions get the best of me.

But that's cool, I've learned, I'm not dumping each paycheck into GME I can't afford that like I said I make $16 in this fuckin' economy. But I'll be different this time, I'll buy what I can afford, maybe skip Mcdonalds a couple times and buy GME instead, just kinda throwing money into a pond.

These hands are diamond, I'm not giving any advice just sharing my experience, what I've learned, what I'm going to do different going forward. I'm holding till I see phone numbers so I can sell 1 share and buy a lambo and never have to work again. It'd be nice to not have to cut grass every day.

EDIT: my bad this isn’t a community this is Reddit.