u/_Carmie_

I’m Kaitlyn, a 21 year old woman and I’m with my girlfriend (20 years old) for almost two years now. We met on instagram at roleplay account from Hellaverse and grew towards each other real suick. For our one year anniversary I travaled from Europe to the US so we could be together. I went back to my country after 10 days and things went well until recently. Or maybe it never had been well and I simply didnnt saw it untill now.

I noticed a few things and started to keep an eye out:
- For Valentines she said she’ll send me a digital letter, I never got it.
- She had vacation and said she’ll stay at home. Her vacatipn will end hallway summer. So after one week in her vacation I said I can finish my essay and will have a window to do things online together. She suddenly said that her classes had start on Monday. It’s one example, I’ve tried to do something toegether but never get any answer except for “I’ll let you know when I can”
- I brought it up mutiple times that I miss her and feel like she’s no longer interested in me. I got no real response on that.
- I always start the conversation and now it’s been more then one week since I heard from her.

It’s been like this for some months now. Friends say I should break up, dorm mates say I should break up, a lady I met at a store said I’m worth more then red flags, even my singing coach said she’s proud I noticed the red flags. Yet I feel horrible. I want to marry my girlfriend but being out of touch for this long… I have no excuse for myself anymore that can justify her absence. I know she has an identity crisis, but I’m carrying the entire relationship for months.

Am I making the right decision? I plan breaking up even tho it hurts so badly. I bought myself lots of ice cream as preparation for the breakup next week.

I’m Kaitlyn, a 21 year old woman and I have a guide dog since I’m almost fully blind.
At my traineeship there are often glass shards everywhere because of vandalism we can’t get under control. To protect my dog’s paws I make her wear dog shoes. People who know me and visit the service centre have told me a few times that I do good having my guide dog wear those.

I face social control a lot and get three types of reactions when people who do not know me see my dog with dog shoes on. This makes me feel uncomfortable and weird because I know it’s something out of the ordinary. But today I learned social control isn’t always a bad thing.

I was waiting for my bus and a boy came to me. I couldn’t grasp what he was saying and then an elderly man asked “Can I help you with something?”. I asked if the bus company was protesting again, because it was unusually calm at that bus stop. The man said no, so I went back and waited. A few seconds later a middle aged man came to me and said “Bus 40 is not stopping at this stop today. You should go to bus perron 9”. I followed him and just minutes later the bus that I need to go to traineeship stopped at bus perron 9.

I do not know this man, neither do I know that boy. But they noticed I take that bus often and made me aware. I noticed other people doing the same, calling out to someone else to tell them the bus is not stopping there today. It touched me and that’s why I share this.

Social control can feel uncomfortable when doing something society deems bizarre. But social control also makes us care for someone else at moments we don’t expect it.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Hello, I’m Kaitlyn, a 21 year old woman. I don’t really believe in spiritual things, but I’ve always found them interesting. It’s something I’m curious about and something I want to learn about. How do real mediums work? How can I connect more deeply with myself?

Today I looked some things up since I want to self-reflect more often to help me make difficult decisions and to just understand myself better (why I do what I do).

So I told my dad I want to buy tarot cards to self-reflect on a different level. To see things from other perspectives. I didn’t tell him I’m also considering buying a pendulum for the same reasons. My dad, however, immediately said “No” and told me, “Tarot is bullshit and once you start, you’re going to believe in this nonsense.” I tried to explain I do not want to use it to try to see my future, but it feels like he does not understand.

I know I’m an adult who can technically do whatever I want, but my dad is the only family I have left. I don't know anyone else from my family and don't see them. He raised me as a single dad, so we have a great bond. I still live with my dad and I just do not want him to look at me differently if I buy those things anyway.

I can rebel, don’t get me wrong. I have things at home my dad was also against, and it was hard for me to show that I’m still myself. I try not to curse in public and avoid cursing with “God” since I’m also religious and pray every night before bed (though it’s more going over my day and worries). The thing is… I often feel like I’m not the person my dad wants me to be. I do curse around friends to joke around (lightly) and when I’m really frustrated. But even when I’m frustrated, I only do it at home and my language turns vulgar instead of real cursing. My dad then usually says, “Kaitlyn, language. I didn’t raise you like that.”

Should I still just buy the tarot cards and pendulum, or just let it go and seek other ways to self-reflect in a different way than I do now?