u/_Reflex_-

For context I'm in my third year of my four year degree. These past three years will account for 30% of my grade, with the remaining 70% being from my final year. I am doing a double major in theoretical physics and experimental physics (30 credits each). Every semester I tell myself I'm going to do better and the same thing always happens. I start studying too late because I was overworked doing assignments, I try to cram at the last minute and end up doing pathetically mediocre. I am currently sitting at a high 2.2 which means that if I want to apply for masters programs to go into after I graduate I won't be able to even if I did perfect in fourth year as they would essentially be looking at my 2nd and 3rd year grades(which range from some high seventies to middling 40's) -note this the UK/European system idk how this converts to the American GPA system.

I view having to take another gap year(as I took one already after a bad start to second year) as essentially academic suicide as I would be out for a year and most likely would also not be able to get any sort of opportunities to do with internships or work experience due to the current job market. It feels like the only thing I can do is just keel over and die as my life is basically over and I don't know what to do.

I made a post a while ago about doing pretty terribly at this game and I thought if I just played more and understood the meta I'd be able learn from my mistakes, 70 or so games later and my w/l ratio has taken a nose dive, I've gone down to the low 1300s in elo, and I can't for the life of me figure out how to get better.

Most games feel completely unwinnable unless I get a very good hand, even though I'm copying alot of tournament winning decks like dragapult(tried 2 variants so far) and lucario. In about 2 turns in I usually habe already lost and I'm never really wrong once it clicks that the games over no matter how hard I try.

I've watched videos going over ideas like sequencing, prize mapping, matchups, and other important topics like that.

Is it an IQ problem? I have a relatively low IQ so that ought to be a possibility as to why my gameplay is so atrocious despite learning more and more.

While not neccesarily relating to any current assignments im on, I've noticed the question always comes up on the exams for QM2 at my university, I have no idea how to go about answering it, whether it be for a simple harmonic system or something more complex, any intuition about how to understand the question is greatly appreciated.

I'm curious about the therapists approach to this. Suppose there is a person who has done terrible things and hates themselves for it and wants to improve, enough to where people want them dead / to kill themselves.

Is it moral to give this person therapy and help them improve and maybe live a positive life even though they have caused great pain to others?

For context I am a terrible person. I have done horrible near unspeakable things in my life and hurt so many people, even if unintentional. Most people I've talked to about this rightfully argue that I deserve to die and I agree with them, with the only reason I am sticking around being that I don't want to cause my parents suffering, even if my death would make others happy and thus a net positive on the world

When I ask for guidance on this I am often told that I should seek therapy immediately, yet I don't know what it could fix. It wont undo the harm I have caused others, the people I have caused harm to will still rightly want me dead, 99% of my hatred of myself comes from my mistakes. I just don't know if I should or should not seek therapy.

There is also the issue that even if I was able no longer hate myself for my mistakes, would that be fair to those I have hurt, I can't imagine a bigger insult than me possibly living a positive, happy and generous life when those around me would argue I shouldn't even be given the opportunity to.