u/_TheTrueCube_

I have been suffering from constant, nonstop chronic pain for the last 4 years, and we have been milked by hospitals and passed around by doctors. I had an incomplete segmentation on my C4-C5 right side of my neck, causing constant pressure and a tear to my C5-C6 to the point it made me suffer constant dull, achy, and tight shoulder and neck pain. The first time I went to a neurosurgeon with this pain, they basically told me they could not do anything, and my neck became more poppy, and I started cracking it daily to relieve it.

Fast forward to 2026, and I went back to the same neurosurgeon, and after getting a third MRI, they finally suggested surgery. I wanted surgery back in 2022 when this whole thing started, but they said it was not bad enough, so they basically wanted me to wait until it got absolutely fucked and then finally suggested surgery. IF THEY HAD LISTENED TO ME WHEN I TOLD THEM SOMETHING WAS WRONG, THEN MAYBE I WOULD BE BETTER OFF. I got done with a "C5-C6 anterior cervical microdiscectomy with structural allograft and plate fixation" 4 years after I started hurting, and I am 5 weeks into it, and I am in complete hell. I don't feel much better; my neck and shoulders are so constantly achy, dull, and tight. It feels a little different from before surgery, but not in a good way. It feels like someone was beating the fuck out of my shoulder for the last 4 years; like doing a small task feels like I did it 20 times over. Like, I am 24, and the people that get that surgery are usually 40 to 60. According to my research, this surgery won't affect my life experience, but I wish it did. It's only been 4 years, but it feels like I have been feeling it for 40.

My question is how do I get my family prepared to grieve? That is what makes me cry the most: that I know it's going to affect them and so many people differently. How do I get them on board with me dying? I know it sounds stupid and there is probably no answer, but I can't take this anymore. After my buddy's wedding, which I am the best man in, I plan on ending my suffering. I wish I could ask for their permission to die, but I feel like it's more like going to ask for their forgiveness. They ask me how my pain is going, and I don't know how to answer since I have had constant pain for so long I don't know what's better or what's worse; all I know is that the pain is there. I feel like a loser and a waste of space. I would rather spend money on my coffin than spend it on these bills just to barely help my suffering. Thanks in advance.

I have suffered neck pain and shoulder pain for the last 4 years. Constant dull and achy pain in my neck and shoulders, to the point where I can't be active at all. I am 24 and I feel 64. In the beginning, I started to feel small shoulder pain that did not go away, and now it's constant neck and upper shoulder pain. I don't remember what it feels like to have no pain and a full feeling in my shoulder.

I am on 5 medications, and none of them are working. I am on the highest dose of hydrocodone, and I take hydromorphone during the day. It worked fine, but now I don't feel any relief. I just take it because it is the only one I got, and I am tired of begging my personal doctor to climb a painkiller tree. The pain began in 2022, and I got multiple MRIs in 2023 and went to a neurosurgeon (all the ones I met are rude), and he turned me down and said he could do nothing. I got pushed and milked through the medical system by going to 3 different physical therapists, undergoing multiple tests, undergoing multiple mini procedures, and getting multiple different referrals to different doctors. I went to 15 different doctors, from neurosurgeons to pain specialists. Nothing worked, fighting my insurance for every little procedure. As time went on my neck would crack more often through these years of trying to relieve it.

Fast forward to 2026: the pain was awful, and we decided to get another MRI, and it showed pressure being pressed on my C5-C6, and we decided to go back to the same neurosurgeon, and he finally said I was going to get surgery. I wanted surgery through day one but never got it until the pain was so terrible I was on the brink of ending my life. I got a "C5-6 ANTERIOR CERVICAL MICRODISCECTOMY WITH STRUCTURAL ALLOGRAFT AND PLATE FIXATION," and they said that relief could take 6 months to a year if it does. My neck and shoulder have been frozen stiff for 4 years and have only brought dull and achy pain that only got worse with physical activity, and if this does not work, then I am done.

This has affected my relationship with my family and has affected my ability to find a romantic partner, because I have this bagged. All I think about is relief, and I think I am only going to get it when I am dead. I had a checkup with the neurosurgeon that did my surgery and asked if this will help, and he said he did not know and said that my neck was bad for my age and it is possible to have other problems in the future. I just don't want to continue with life. I have pushed this far for my family, but I am not dealing with this pain for another 4 years. My worst fear is dying alone and only having pain to comfort me. I would rather die young than live with pain until I die old.

I am sorry, family; I fought, but the pain won. I am going to give it three more months, but if it does not get better, I am out. I just had to vent here, because every time I vent to my mother, it hurts her because she knows she can't do anything. I see all my friends and classmates thriving, and I am surviving; I am tired of it.

I have suffered neck pain and shoulder pain for the last 4 years. Constant dull and achy pain in my neck and shoulders, to the point where I can't be active at all. I am 24 and I feel 64. In the beginning, I started to feel small shoulder pain that did not go away, and now it's constant neck and upper shoulder pain. I don't remember what it feels like to have no pain and a full feeling in my shoulder.

I am on 5 medications, and none of them are working. I am on the highest dose of hydrocodone, and I take hydromorphone during the day. It worked fine, but now I don't feel any relief. I just take it because it is the only one I got, and I am tired of begging my personal doctor to climb a painkiller tree. The pain began in 2022, and I got multiple MRIs in 2023 and went to a neurosurgeon (all the ones I met are rude), and he turned me down and said he could do nothing. I got pushed and milked through the medical system by going to 3 different physical therapists, undergoing multiple tests, undergoing multiple mini procedures, and getting multiple different referrals to different doctors. I went to 15 different doctors, from neurosurgeons to pain specialists. Nothing worked, fighting my insurance for every little procedure. As time went on my neck would crack more often through these years of trying to relieve it.

Fast forward to 2026: the pain was awful, and we decided to get another MRI, and it showed pressure being pressed on my C5-C6, and we decided to go back to the same neurosurgeon, and he finally said I was going to get surgery. I wanted surgery through day one but never got it until the pain was so terrible I was on the brink of ending my life. I got a "C5-6 ANTERIOR CERVICAL MICRODISCECTOMY WITH STRUCTURAL ALLOGRAFT AND PLATE FIXATION," and they said that relief could take 6 months to a year if it does. My neck and shoulder have been frozen stiff for 4 years and have only brought dull and achy pain that only got worse with physical activity, and if this does not work, then I am done.

This has affected my relationship with my family and has affected my ability to find a romantic partner, because I have this bagged. All I think about is relief, and I think I am only going to get it when I am dead. I had a checkup with the neurosurgeon that did my surgery and asked if this will help, and he said he did not know and said that my neck was bad for my age and it is possible to have other problems in the future. I just don't want to continue with life. I have pushed this far for my family, but I am not dealing with this pain for another 4 years. My worst fear is dying alone and only having pain to comfort me. I would rather die young than live with pain until I die old.

I am sorry, family; I fought, but the pain won. I am going to give it three more months, but if it does not get better, I am out. I just had to vent here, because every time I vent to my mother, it hurts her because she knows she can't do anything. I see all my friends and classmates thriving, and I am surviving; I am tired of it. me I vent to my mother, it hurts her because she knows she can't do anything. I see all my friends and classmates thriving, and I am surviving; I am tired of it.