u/__Gali

I’ll try to keep this short, but happy to give more detail if needed. Any advice would be really appreciated.

Basically, we love each other very much and have a strong emotional, physical and intellectual connection. Like any couple, we have our problems and incompatibilities, but none of them feel like deal breakers.

However, we’ve been long distance for a few years, and despite my best efforts, I’ve started to resent her for not being more present in my life while she’s been studying and starting her career. At the same time, she feels that I haven’t put enough effort into the relationship. Things have become harder recently as she’s started a stressful career, and I haven’t supported her in the way I think she deserves.

I now have the opportunity to start teacher training either in the city where she works (A), or in a different town (B). I’m leaning towards B because it’s more affordable, and I prefer the course and the city. My girlfriend actually thinks I’d have a better time in B, as much as she’d like me to be closer.

So I’m struggling with what to choose. If I went to A, we’d probably have dinner together a couple of times a week and spend a weekend together every few weeks. We really enjoy each other’s company, and even that amount of time together would be amazing.

If we stayed long distance, though, we’re both worried that we’d eventually start genuinely resenting each other. We’d both rather end things on good terms, with the possibility of reconnecting later, than allow the relationship to deteriorate to that point.

At the same time, part of me does want to go it alone for a while. It would give me more time and mental energy to focus on starting my career, and I’ve only been single for about eight months since I was 16. I’ve always believed in growing within a relationship, but perhaps being single for a year would allow me to discover something new about myself.

I’m also, perhaps unhelpfully, thinking about marriage and whether I can see myself spending the rest of my life with this person. I genuinely don’t know.

TL;DR: I’m choosing between moving to be closer to a good, but not perfect, partner, or moving to a different city for a fresh start but potentially ending the relationship. How would you approach this decision?

Hi so I'll try keep this short but any advice is greatly appreciated because the exeter deadline is tomorrow lunchtime:)

I have the option to choose between Exeter uni and St Mary's, Twickenham for my english pgce. I'd be relocating for either provider.

I went to Exeter for my undergrad a few years ago and enjoyed it very much. It's a nice city and I think I matched well with it in terms of the small but active arts/cultural/sports scenes. Importantly, I really enjoyed my interview day experience and the teachers/cohort left great impressions. I think I can predict what my life would look like and I would probably find it quite manageable, just maybe not super exciting.

I applied to St Mary's thinking I'd be able to do London whilst I am in my 20s. I am just wondering whether this is realistic - will I find a London social life too challenging to build/sustain on a pgce year where my time and budget are so limited. Worst case is that I end up just feeling isolated. My interview was online and I didn't get a chance to meet the teachers, but I liked the look of the course and understand that it is a historic teacher training college.

Anyway, let me know if any of you have experience doing a PGCE in London (esp St Mary's or another suburban provider), and whether it was an isolating or exciting experience. Conversely, if anyone has thoughts on Exeter as a pgce destination then let me know.

TL;DR Exeter (familiar, compact, cheap, probs fun!) vs St Mary's (expensive, potentially isolating but also exciting)