Trigger Town, next stop: family reunion, now, apparently, also my cousin’s baby shower I’ve just been asked to plan.
I’ve been particularly stressed about my upcoming family reunion because my favorite cousin will be idk, 7 months or so pregnant, and as much as I love her and am happy for her blah blah blah, it’s a big trigger for me and my husband.
Fast forward to today and my aunt (her mom) calls. I think she’s calling to apologize for missing my birthday last week. Nope. No mention of that. Instead she’s calling to tell me she’s planning a baby shower for my cousin during our five day reunion, and she’d like me to help plan it. She went on for literally six UNINTERRUPTED minutes about how cousin’s best friend (and baby!) will be coming in, and her MIL and FIL as well. How cousin wants a prenatal massage, so WE’LL have to coordinate that. How cousin will be too far along to fly after the reunion, and who wants to fly to MN for a baby shower in the middle of the winter???
In her fairness, she said if it was “too upsetting” for me to help plan it, she understands. I told her I’d have to think about it and tried to get her off the phone as soon as possible so I could go on with my now ruined evening.
So here we are. I’m angry for the tone deaf nature of her request. I’m sad I can’t be all in on celebrating my favorite cousin. I’m devastated my husband has to navigate both a family reunion that is already… A LOT
and now this reunion-ambushing baby shower. I’m not sure how to get out of it (like, all of it, at this point. Reunion and all), but I also know I’m not strong enough to attend. I don’t go to baby showers. Period.
I’m 100% going to tell her I won’t be planning a shower with her. There are plenty of other women in our family that’d be more than happy to help.
I’m struggling with bailing on everything, or sucking it up. For the first time ever we missed the reunion last year, so now I feel like I NEED to be there this year. Is it compulsory? Of course not. But I’d be letting a whole bunch of family members down if I bailed. My parents are aging and I don’t see them often enough, being across the country from them and all. I want to be there but now I’m dreading it. I don’t know what to do.