u/_calico-cat_

this year I have been diligent about taking my empties to the special recycling bins for beauty products that they have in some stores. the thing is, they require the packaging to be completely empty and clean.

I just finished cleaning my empties for the third time this year and omg it is so. much. work. my skincare products were easy because they were all in tubes or jars, so easily wiped clean. but makeup products? even lip glosses that were completely empty (as in, I pulled out the stopper and scraped the sides) still somehow had enough product stuck to the tube to be a complete pain in the ass to clean. and the mascara tubes were even worse. it was like in Spirited Away when No Face vomits, just endless black sludge.

being forced to confront my waste like this really puts consumption into perspective. environmentalism is one of my main reasons for limiting my consumption, and it is really mind-boggling to realize all this waste was produced by one person.

...how they can still lust after other people if they really, truly want us and think they can be content with us for the rest of their lives.

My PA fiancé recently admitted to me that he's been struggling with sobriety and, if I am understanding him correctly, that he fears being off porn will make it harder for him to resist ? his attraction to women in real life. I don't remember his exact words, but I remember "women are EVERYWHERE" and "I liked keeping fantasy and reality separate." He also said that he hates having those feelings, and that he feels like he has two levels, one that only wants me and doesn't want to lose me, and the animal level that feels lust.

A few days after this conversation, we were out at a community event and I suddenly got sad wondering if he was looking at other women. I told him when we got home, and he seemed confused or surprised by that and just kept reiterating that he only wants me.

And I just don't understand it. I understand recognizing another person as objectively attractive, and I even understand occasionally feeling attracted to another person even when in a happy relationship. But I really can't comprehend lusting to this degree, that he's not sure how to cope with it. And he knows I would prefer to have sex more often, so it's not like I'm leaving him with no outlet for his libido.

So this is my long-winded way of saying, can anyone explain this? How monogamous love and attraction can coexist with this constant lust? I'm sure this sub is mostly women, but I would LOVE a man's perspective.