WIBTA - ask my partner not to go on a 2 week trip just so I can take space from them
TLDR - my partner dropped a bomb on me a couple days before going on a roadtrip. When stuff like this happens, I typically want take some space to calm down and collect my thoughts before having a conversation. WIBTA if I asked them not to go on the road trip, full well knowing that I may want to spend a good chunk of that time apart?
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My partner & I have been together (on & off) for four years. We love each other very very much, and while there are some things that cause conflict/separation, we tend to come back together on the basis of love and mutual respect & care. We recently opened our relationship, primarily based on their needs, which I supported. Being open is challenging for me, but one I was willing to work through with my partner's and my therapist's support - because I knew in order to be together, this was the compromise I needed to make.
About one week into being open, my partner told me that they were now sleeping with my best friend's most significant ex, which for so so many reasons is not okay with me. Sleeping with people we mutually know wasn't an explicit boundary, but I have reason to believe they were already communicating with this person before we officially opened & they chose not to tell me. This, along with several other violations to our relationship agreement, was an absolute bomb - I am currently crushed with heartbreak.
They dropped this bomb on me two days ago & now are getting ready to go on a roadtrip with their mom for two weeks in a couple days. Right now, I am so angry and sad and I've retreated into self defense and we haven't really spoken since they told me. I know that I will be ready to talk (or honestly, fight) in a few days, but they will be gone by that point. It's totally possible that even if we have a conversation, I will need more space to continue processing. WIBTA to ask them not to go on the trip, to stay home so they can reckon with the consequences of their actions? Or do I let them go, and wait til they get back to talk it through?
Talking over the phone/texting about it not an option.