u/a-minor-character

We recently found out we are having a girl but are keeping the fact that we know the sex a secret until the baby shower when we will surprise reveal.

We haven’t shared our name ideas with anyone yet but know people will start asking once they know the sex. Does anyone have any strong opinions about sharing names before birth, one way or the other? I don’t feel like our name will draw objections from anyone but I also feel like you never really know.

Our baby will be named Margot Belle Scarlett (we’re only like 75% sure on middle name & it could still change so we probably won’t share that until birth). Our other middle name contender is Miller, which is a family name. We are also open to suggestions!

My long time top girl name for our first baby was Clara Campbell (last name Scarlett). Then, my cousin had a baby & named her Claire. We live states apart so I thought hey, nbd, it’s not the same name & they’ll probably only see each other once every other year or so. However, when I was ~5w pregnant my cousin tragically lost her baby. Now I feel like my pregnancy alone is likely triggering enough for her (super valid, as her Claire was only 15mo old when she passed), & that even considering Clara as a name feels selfish. We just about took the name off the table after that. I haven’t spoken with my cousin about it at all, but my Grandma said that I should call her and ask her about it.

Now I’m approaching 20w (still don’t know baby’s sex) & we’re really trying to nail down a girl name & I can’t seem to shake Clara. The only other girl name we have agreed on is Margot Miller (Miller is my mom’s maiden name & I’ve always been super close with that side of the family, so it’s a very meaningful name). My husband loves Margot but isn’t sold on the middle name, he thinks the surname-middle name style (that I obviously love) is weird lol.

My questions are: (1) am I a terrible person for even considering Clara Campbell still, and (2) how does the group feel about Margot Miller? Should we go with a different middle name? I have wracked my brain for a different name that flowed the same & can’t for the life of me find one.

Boy name ideas just so you can get a better idea of our naming vibe: Wilson (we plan to call him Sonny when he’s little) or Tommy Scott Scarlett (Scott is a family name on both sides & will be the middle name no matter what first name we pick).

Any & all suggestions are welcome! If you think I’m an asshole for considering Clara, super fair, but please be kind because we love little Claire & miss her dearly—it’s a very sensitive and hard to navigate subject. 💗