u/a_guy54

Well, for those who remember a while back i asked advice in a situationship.

She was just taking like we were already in a relationship, flirting, saying nice things and also freaky ones, it was Perfect.

Today i asked her out...turns out she wasnt interested...

I feel like destroyed but not that much, i dont know how to explain.

I feel lost and dont know what to do, any advice?

In the last months i have started noticing that i get strange ideas which have never occured to me before with knifes.

I guess its Just an intrussive thought, but arent intrusive thoughts Just one time for and different for everything?

As i said, in the last months everytime i get handed a knife or hold one i just think "Put it as deep as possible in your gut until the knife (in italian its "lama", i dont know the translation at the moment) its not visible anymore".

Lately this thoughts have intensified so much i have to put down the knife, close my eyes and grip something very hard so that they pass away, and still i have this feeling that something has happened or its happening that's making me think of this but i dont know what are they!

Also, during this last months i havent remembered any of my dreams (this becouse we techincaly always dream but most of the time we dont remember them) and the only dreams i remember are about death of some kind 🤷

I am mo specialist, but just 3 months ago it wasnt happening. I guess i just need to see if someone knows how to get this urges away or if they are just intrusive thoughts

Ever since i can remember i haven't been good with understanding emotions, i have always thought that for what i eas doing it wasnt necesary and just slowed myself down.

Until very little i had a friend, a girl, she broke up with his boyfriend not long ago and ever since we have had a strange dinamic, even tho we live very far appart we have started sending eachother some "questionable" reels.

Not that long ago i realized i also had developed feeling for her, i am very scared to ruin the friendship (which has been going pretty good for a while) but also, if i wanted to create a life i would want her to be a part of it.

Recently also her texts have gotten drier and less frequent, even tho we still have some "combos" as people might define them, and somethimes we video call eachother (until very late) i am scared of losing her.

I come with you with all the sincerity i have, i am not understanding my own emotions and i cannot trust people on my live to tell me advice.

Anything is apriciated.