u/abit_kinda

I've seen a lot of horror stories on this subreddit about people leaving the religion and telling their parents, who then get them ostracized, punished, tortured mentally, physically and emotionally. it makes me fear for the day I'll confess to my family.

Thankfully, I live in a slightly more open Muslim country, and they don't follow sharia'a to the dot, but it's still a Muslim country. I looked up the laws, and discovered I can safely take off my hijab, and safely live under the same roof as my bf without facing any danger.

However, I'm debating whether I should tell my family at all. I do plan on moving out by the end of this year, but I don't exactly know what to say to them.

my parents are very traditional people, so they believe that a woman should be pampered and shouldn't worry her silly little brain about things like independence, getting a job or driver's license, etc. I had to fight for these things my whole life, and there are still some things I can't do like take off the hijab, stay out late or go for sleepovers.

what makes this difficult for me is the guilt I feel towards my father. he's a hard-working man, and has revolved his whole life around trying to protect me and keep me sheltered. from sending me to girls-only schools and unis, not allowing me to take off my hijab, giving me a monthly allowance so I wouldn't have to work, etc. he isn't a good father by any means. he's extremely harsh and controlling when it comes to me and my sisters and he's always been emotionally unavailable, simply acting as our ATM machine. I could go on and on.

so I simply feel extremely guilty for not playing the role of "the good Muslim daughter" for my dad, who spends all his time at work to give me the life he thinks I want.

ig what I'm asking is if anyone has been in the same emotional conundrum that I'm in and how did they dealt with the guilt of moving out and coming clean. I'm going to also post this on r/advice, but I figured almost everyone on this subreddit is more familiar with what I'm describing.

I really wish things were easier for us.

hi! I've been having dreams where I'm revisited by this female goddess(?).

usually, the scenario is something along the lines of: I'm being told to do something by someone I know, but I don't think I'm up for the task so I decline, then the goddess's figure appears somewhere around me, and seems to grow in size and be engulfed in fire, as if she's telling me "no, you can do this. don't doubt yourself". this happens multiple times throughout a dream.

this goddess always appears in the same position and always has the same characteristics; it's as if I'm seeing a statue of her.

her statue is crouching/squatting, she has very long hair, and some of her body parts are animals. her head is part lion on one side, one of her arms has a snake growing out, she has a snake-like tongue, etc. honestly that's all I can remember, the dreams with her are unlike my usual ones, where I can remember them clearly.

this is around the 3rd time she showed up in my dreams with the same characteristics and behavior, I'm wondering if it's a diety reaching out to me, and I'd like to start worshipping her, but I can't find a similar looking diety on the internet when I searched, so I'm asking you guys.

if anyone recognizes her, knows her name, or maybe someone doesn't think she's a diety but something else, pls lmk. anything would help. thank you!

hi! I've been having dreams where I'm revisited by this female goddess(?).

usually, the scenario is something along the lines of: I'm being told to do something by someone I know, but I don't think I'm up for the task so I decline, then the goddess's figure appears somewhere around me, and seems to grow in size and be engulfed in fire, as if she's telling me "no, you can do this. don't doubt yourself". this happens multiple times throughout a dream.

this goddess always appears in the same position and always has the same characteristics; it's as if I'm seeing a statue of her.

her statue is crouching/squatting, she has very long hair, and some of her body parts are animals. her head is part lion on one side, one of her arms has a snake growing out, she has a snake-like tongue, etc. honestly that's all I can remember, the dreams with her are unlike my usual ones, where I can remember them clearly.

this is around the 3rd time she showed up in my dreams with the same characteristics and behavior, I'm wondering if it's a diety reaching out to me, and I'd like to start worshipping her, but I can't find a similar looking diety on the internet when I searched, so I'm asking you guys.

if anyone recognizes her, knows her name, or maybe someone doesn't think she's a diety but something else, pls lmk. anything would help. thank you!

hi! I've been having dreams where I'm revisited by this female goddess(?).

usually, the scenario is something along the lines of: I'm being told to do something by someone I know, but I don't think I'm up for the task so I decline, then the goddess's figure appears somewhere around me, and seems to grow in size and be engulfed in fire, as if she's telling me "no, you can do this. don't doubt yourself". this happens multiple times throughout a dream.

this goddess always appears in the same position and always has the same characteristics; it's as if I'm seeing a statue of her.

her statue is crouching/squatting, she has very long hair, and some of her body parts are animals. her head is part lion on one side, one of her arms has a snake growing out, she has a snake-like tongue, etc. honestly that's all I can remember, the dreams with her are unlike my usual ones, where I can remember them clearly.

this is around the 3rd time she showed up in my dreams with the same characteristics and behavior, I'm wondering if it's a diety reaching out to me, and I'd like to start worshipping her, but I can't find a similar looking diety on the internet when I searched, so I'm asking you guys.

if anyone recognizes her, knows her name, or maybe someone doesn't think she's a diety but something else, pls lmk. anything would help. thank you!

tell me why I just got recommended a subreddit for "Muslim cats"or "cats of Islam" or wtv. and all the posts are about shit like "checking to see if my cat is Muslim" and "aww look my Muslim cat is falling asleep in the masjid because she knows Islam is safe and righteous<3" so fucking weird..

everything Muslims do genuinely irks me, why are you bringing your feline friend into religion??? the way they're not only constantly shoving religion down people's throats, but also their pets aren't safe?

have u guys seen the viral vid of this Muslims female cat trying to mate with another female cat lol and the woman recording started saying "stop that's Haram, do you have no shame?"

ik most of these posts are jokes and satire but ugh these people annoy me sm. just wanted to rant lol

I don't practice paganism a lot, just simple things here and there, but sometimes I feel like whenever I try to do a spell and/or be kind to nature, it backfires? like, there were multiple times where I'd carry around specific herbs and crystals to help me set the mood for the day, and they would either fall out and I'd lose them, or they'd spill out. the few times I left out food for the birds on my windowsill, the window cleaner guys would come around THE NEXT DAY and throw it off. if I'd make a protection braid in my hair before leaving my house, the hair band would almost always come off or break or something. it's literally unexplainable but it almost always happens, it almost feels like nature doesn't accept me? it's a real bummer and I was hoping someone has an explanation or solution for this

in the world that we live in, esp ex Muslims, are criticized when they leave the religion. I feel like I don't see this kind of criticism and hate towards any other ex-religious person and I hate it so much. every single religion speaks against converts, and yet with ex Muslims, they're even more ostracized for leaving the religion. I hate it so much, I don't want to have to be criticized or judged every time I tell someone I'm an ex Muslim. or every time someone finds out I'm an Arab but not Muslim, they're shocked and bombard me with questions. I hate feeling like I'll never be free from this religion, it'll always follow me around. there's over 2 billion Muslims, and they're everywhere. I know I need to go to therapy to resolve all the horrible experiences I had with this religion and its people, but till then, I feel extremely hateful and angry towards this religion and its people. I've lost friends, people have cut me off, etc. immediately when someone finds out I'm an ex-muslim, they assume I'm ignorant or that I haven't actually practiced the religion or experienced it properly. however, I'm a child of extremely religious parents, and we live in a Muslim country, and I'm surrounded by Muslims. I wanted to know what everyone else's outlook on this was.