u/adhd_in_Fmajor

I wanna list of some peeps to go see!

Hey everyone,
It is now finally my turn to ask for some advice/council as I have seen many before me.

Context:
I have been brought into this music family for the last 7 months. My mentor brought me into his life and I do a lot of work with him industry wise and I’ve found a lot of community with him. In this community is a bunch of complicated dynamics and I think I’ve found myself in one of them. His ex wife is now a gay woman and her “situationship” are close friends with this group I’ve found myself in. His ex-wife is someone I look up to a lot. Her long term situationship has been hanging out with me and some makeout sessions have been had.

I’m the youngest in this group, I’m in my late 20s and I have very open ideas about relationships like the rest of you. These guys are like 35 to 45 and it’s a little more complicated for them. I just sorta follow the flow and if something feels right I explore with curiosity and kindness.

So me and ex wife’s partner/ situationship have discovered some feelings and mutual attraction. They have a rocky past but the situationship has vented to me about this person and has made it really clear they are not in a relationship. But I asked for clarity and some clarification if this was okay if people knew about it and she couldn’t give me an answer. I asked her if ex-wife would be mad and she also couldn’t give me an answer. AND Ex-wife has said this person is “crazy” and made it pretty clear she doesn’t like this person. Ex-wife has clarified she’s single to me.

And now the made out sessions have been had and I’m having concerns that everyone will hate me if for some reason gets out we are talking. I bring this issue to here because I personally do not care if she sees ex-wife. I would be more than happy to be a metamour. And I’m also here to express frustration with not knowing my responsibility in this in terms of honest communication. But I’ve never been in a situation where the social dynamics have been so touchy. But I don’t like the idea of hiding anything and I don’t want to hurt anyone ever if I can help it. My first instinct is to back out of it and just explain I don’t like the vibes BUT I also want to explore the connection. I also don’t want to complicate anything for my mentor or his ex-wife because they do business together still.

These people are not super emotionally developed, I hate to be rude, but even if for some reason I had to explain myself with an honest answer I’m not sure how it would pan out.

I just want to be honest as I am but I don’t know what’s my responsibility, if at all what to communicate. I rarely find myself in this type of situation, it just sorta happened as things do so I’m trying to make a decision that’s honest that I can be at peace with.

Apologies if this is convoluted but it just is! I am a young autistic person still figuring out poly/ENM so sorry if any of this is obvious to you. Thanks in advance.