Recently got an open cell wetsuit and I'm not sure if I'm meant to be wearing speedos under it. I would prefer to since I'm often getting into and out of the suit in a group and without them it will be extremely difficult to cover up, but it also feels like the rubber of the suit gets a bit stuck on the speedos and I'm worried about damaging it.
I've got ADHD with some pure-OCD mixed in. Only got diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago (early 30s) and I’m trying medication for it, though I’m not sure it’s for me. I recently learnt that there is a link between ADHD and justice sensitivity and it was eye opening.
Some of the things that seriously derail my mental health have been where I perceive there to be an injustice. This is true of wide, far reaching injustices that arise from political decisions, and injustices that exist in my day to day, like not getting an opportunity at work.
The more macro-level stuff I’ve had to manage by just unplugging, not reading reddit / news so much means there’s not so many triggers. But the work stuff I’m finding really hard at the moment. I’ve been feeling stuck and looking for a new job for some time, and when opportunities that should eventuate don’t it’s causing me to ruminate endlessly. Every bad day at work, every person who’s in an elevated position that sucks at their job, every rejection email all trigger me and I’m having to try to refocus myself 50+ times every day or I get locked in a red hot rage that just has nowhere to go.
Two recent situations have really tanked my mental health because I was basically sabotaged by incompetent HR processes outside of my control, despite doing everything right. Once I was given the wrong preparation instructions for a final round interview and found out in the session it was a case study, and once where HR dragged their feet on my application for so long that the hiring manager decided they were comfortable with another candidate before I even got a chance to interview, despite having a warm introduction to the hiring manager who explicitly wanted me at first.
Both times I'd done everything right. Strong application, right connections, right preparation, right conversations. In these situations when I can see clearly that the outcome was unfair and that there was nothing I could have done differently, it causes this intense physical anger and my thoughts become hijacked. It settles eventually but it leaves a simmering frustration that's hard to shift.
Has anyone dealt with something similar and can share some advice? I know the situations are out of my control, I know my anger isn't serving me, but I just can't find a way to move past it. Some of the generic advice like exercise more is great for the 30mins I’m out running, but it doesn’t seem to take the edge off long term.
I've always been pretty capable at work and interview well. Historically I didn't have too much trouble landing interviews, and over time I learnt how to interview strongly as well. But lately I have had major issues getting to the interview stage (Job market woes + my line of work has changed a lot and I've been struggling to pull off a pivot, even though the work I'm pivoting to is basically what I've always done under a different name).
So on the rare occasions that I'm being considered for roles whereby I'm a strong candidate, the pay is good enough, and the responsibilities are aligned with what I want, not getting them hurts deeply.
Two recent situations have really tanked my mental health because I was basically sabotaged by incompetent HR processes outside of my control, despite doing everything right. Once I was given the wrong preparation instructions for a final round interview and found out in the session it was a case study, and once where HR dragged their feet on my application for so long that the hiring manager decided they were comfortable with another candidate before I even got a chance to interview, despite having a warm introduction to the hiring manager who explicitly wanted me at first.
Both times I'd done everything right. Strong application, right connections, right preparation, right conversations. These were roles that I really really wanted. Not landing them, not because other candidates beat me out fairly but because someone stuffed out, causes this intense physical anger and my thoughts become hijacked. It settles eventually but it leaves a simmering frustration that's hard to shift.
In these situations when I can see clearly that the outcome was unfair and that there was nothing I could have done differently, the anger has nowhere to go and I find it really hard to move on in a healthy way.
Has anyone dealt with something similar and can share some advice? I know the situations are out of my control, I know my anger isn't serving me, but I just can't find a way to move past it. I want my immediate anger to be more controllable, and I want the long-tail simmering rage that I get whenever I have a shit day at work and think about what could have been to go away. But I don't know how.