Ever lost your mojo/identity?
I'm almost 30, and over the last 2 years I've gone through a lot of life transitions: marriage, loss of a loved one, some health challenges, moving across cities and being away from family, transitioning from being employed to entrepreneurship, and so on.
I'm by nature a very adjusting person. I try to be flexible, meet people halfway, and make things work.
But lately, I feel like I've lost a major part of myself. My identity, my mojo, the spunk in my demeanour, the charisma I used to have.
I notice it in the way I meet people, both personally and professionally. I feel like a deflated version of myself. More vulnerable. Less spontaneous. Less sure of who I am.
Of course, I can technically point to everything that's happened and say, "You've been through a lot, of course you feel this way." But I'm not quite able to establish the connection myself.
I've embraced marriage with all my might. But somewhere along the way, I think I've been unknowingly adjusting a LOT. Right since the wedding day.
My spouse's family turned out to be quite traditional, and in an effort to keep the peace, I've repeatedly met them midway. But some of the expectations from me are now reaching a point where I feel like I'm going to burst.
My husband is very supportive, but I think what has shocked me is the traditional ecosystem around him, and the realisation that I am simply not be the person they want me to be (I don't identify with their culture although it is my technical ancestry/geographical origin).
And perhaps the hardest part is that I don't know how much of myself I've actually compromised until now.
I've also moved around in support of his career transitions. It was taken for granted that it's fine because I had a remote job at the time. But now I live in a place that does not have the client market I service for my business and I have to travel to a proper city for work, which means I live split between two cities and trying to show up for many people.
I feel disconnected. Wounded. And honestly, a little lost.
Has anyone else experienced something like this, especially around 28-30 or after marriage/life transitions?
I'd genuinely love to hear similar stories, what helped, and how you made sense of it.
I'm also open to the woo-woo interpretations. Identity shifts, astrology, spiritual transitions, whatever. At this point, I'm curious about all frameworks that might help me understand what is happening.
I'm a Virgo Sun, Scorpio Moon and apparently in my Saturn Return phase (not sure what it means though).