Evening meditation realizations
I have been mostly focusing on the BOTEC meditations since following Joes work for the past 6 months, but just did the evening meditation tonight to switch things up.
I am shocked at how profound of a realization I had about myself in just those 20 minutes, and I’m wondering if others have had a similar experiences.
When being asked to reflect on my day, I thought about how I did not ask for help from my boyfriend and ended up lifting something way too heavy and really hurt my back. While being prompted to think about how I want to correct that behaviour I realized that not asking for help is a very common theme for conflict in my life. Work, home, relationships, etc.
I then had a visual of myself as a child. I have a learning disability and as a child I was very quiet and had a very difficult time expressing myself (I couldn’t form sentences properly, wouldn’t remember the right words, etc, lots of jumbled talk.)
The visual was me trying to speak and my family looking at me confused asking me to repeat myself over and over. I realized that at that age I learned if I want something that it’s just easier to do it myself, as asking for help was always a struggle or it was misunderstood.
Honestly, a eureka moment for me.
But as an adult, I have developed very strong communication skills, but somehow still operated under this previous version/learned behaviour.
I repeated to myself near the end of the meditation: “I ask when I need help, I am worthy, and cared enough about to be helped. I protect my mind and body by accepting help. “
I just needed to share this, but curious about others experiences!